16.01.2017 09:00

Expressing your thoughts in front of hundreds of eyes is always difficult, but sometimes the path to success depends on it. Business coach Nina Zvereva gives tips to help you perform brilliantly in front of any audience.

Top mistakes speakers make

They violate the established timing and do not discuss their presentation format with the audience in advance.

They talk about everything at once, without highlighting the main idea.

Since they themselves understand everything, they do not try to explain the key thesis with facts and pictures.

They fail to capture the attention of listeners in the first seconds and cope even worse with the finale: most often it turns out to be amorphous and slurred (“Well, that's it, I'm done, I hope you were interested”).

There is a formula that helps prepare for a performance. It sounds like this: "goal - audience - format - moment." I consider it in detail in the first chapter of my new book “They want to communicate with me”. I advise you to answer four questions for yourself.

What is my goal? Formulate your answer in one sentence.

Who is in front of me and why will these people listen to me? Why are they interested?

In what format will the performance take place (where exactly, what dress code)?

What topic (news, weather, significant date) that is relevant for everyone can I use in my speech?

If you think through, and even better, write down honest answers to these questions, then your presentation will most likely be successful.

Golden Tips for Speakers

The audience is sensitive to any signals, and if you are not prepared for the performance, it is always visible! Characteristic signs: too long pauses, dependence on what is written on paper or on slides on the screen, confusion, fear in the eyes at the time of difficult questions. The speaker's tightness is evidenced by the fear of eye contact with the audience, constant glances at the clock, at the floor or ceiling.

Remember the triad: short, fun, clear. It is better to speak as concisely as possible, appreciating time - your own and other people's. Try to perform fun and unforgettable - this is also an absolute trend! It is no coincidence that the speeches of US presidential candidates sometimes resembled the sketches of Comedy Club residents. People appreciate humor and will be grateful to the speaker who will please them with good jokes. At the same time, your main idea must be conveyed to the audience in the most accessible form. Sergei Kiriyenko once remarked that any complex speech should be understood by a cleaner who accidentally entered the audience.

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NINA ZVEREVA

SCHOOLTV JOURNALIST

UDC 070 BBK 76.032 Z 43Zvereva Nina VitalievnaW 43 TV journalist school. - Nizhny Novgorod: Publishing House Minakova, 2009. - 272 p. ISBN 5-7628-0277-9 "School of a TV Journalist" is a reissue of the first textbook by Nina Zvereva "School of a Regional TV Journalist" (Moscow, Aspect-Press, 2004) Addressed primarily to employees of regional television companies, this textbook turned out to be in demand by the widest audience, including both in Moscow and in the CIS countries. Such well-known masters of television journalism as Lev Nikolaev, Yulia Muchnik, Anton Khrekov, Elena Masyuk, Vadim Takmenev recommended him to their young colleagues and students. The new edition has been seriously revised taking into account modern requirements, contains several new chapters - about ratings and the viewer, about working in a team with an operator, etc. The book "School of a TV Journalist" is written vividly, brightly, contains a lot concrete examples and advice. It is addressed not only to those people who work or dream of becoming a TV journalist, but also to everyone who wants to master the art of competent communication. UDC 070BBK 76.032© Zvereva N.V., 2009 ISBN 5-7628-0277-9 © Minakov Publishing House, 2009

FOREWORDAUTHORKOSECONDEDITIONBOOKS Friends! When I wrote my first textbook "School of a Regional TV Journalist", the feeling of participation in a risky project did not leave me. There was a desire to speak out, to put on paper the most important thoughts and conclusions that I received through many years of experience and bitter mistakes. For an author, there is nothing more terrible than a book without readers. I won't lie, I was worried. And, as it turned out, in vain. Five thousand copies were successfully distributed throughout the country. At various television festivals and seminars, people came up to me and complained that my textbook had been stolen from them and they could not buy a new one anywhere. When in the classroom at the Ostankino school, one student told me that she managed to buy my last textbook somewhere in Novosibirsk via the Internet with a huge surcharge, I realized that I urgently needed to write new version! Television is changing rapidly. It seemed for new version a lot of things will have to be redone. But it turned out that only the names and examples had changed in six years, while the main rules of journalistic skill remained the same. And that's great. This means that there really are formulas and tricks to learn from, tips that will always be in demand. My Moscow colleagues asked to remove the word "regional" from the title, because the profession of a TV journalist is the same and the rules are the same. I would like to say words of special gratitude, first of all, to my students, who constantly stimulate me to further professional growth. Personal words of gratitude I want to address to my partner and editor Natalia Yudina, who helps me in writing all the important books in my life, Professor Valery Mildon, who made accurate remarks, producer Alexander Akopov, from whom I studied and study, rector 3

Ostankino Television School to Alexander Filippov, who provided me with new perspectives and new platforms for teaching. The appearance of the second edition of the book "School of a TV Journalist" became possible thanks to the support of many regional television companies and their leaders - my friends Vyacheslav Smeyukha (Krasnodar), Oleg Urushev (Khanty-Mansiysk), Guzeli Ibragimova (Ufa). Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, I will try not to betray your trust! Sincerely yoursNina Zvereva

FOREWORDToFIRSTEDITION It - good book. I could limit myself to this, considering that the main thing has been said. However, I will try to explain the meaning of what was said. I am absolutely convinced that it is impossible to teach to be a journalist - in the same way as it is impossible to teach a person to be a writer, artist, composer. You can teach a person to read music, orchestration, composition, but even having mastered these skills, not everyone becomes a composer. You can teach drawing - perspective, chiaroscuro, image of volume. But, having mastered the technique, not everyone becomes an artist. Should I continue? Being a journalist is, of course, a profession. But to a much greater and decisive extent, it is a way of life, a kind of attitude, and as a result, a talent. There is, however, an essential difference between a journalist and a writer, on the one hand, and an artist and a composer, on the other. Can't master two recent professions without knowledge of a number of purely technical knowledge and techniques. I cannot name a single well-known artist or composer who would not become one without studying this business in special educational institutions. If there are, then they are only exceptions to the rule. However, I can name many names of outstanding writers who did not study in "writing" schools: Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, Rabelais, Faulkner, Balzac, Tolstoy, Marquez ... - the list is endless, and I'm not talking about poets. The vast majority of outstanding journalists became such after receiving a completely different education - historical, philological, natural science, engineering, etc. They came to journalism only after accumulating some life experience, having matured. Journalism presupposes and requires a certain attitude to life, and this attitude is formed as a result of gaining experience. That is why I consider it useless, if not meaningless, to have journalism departments for those who have just left the school bench. 5

The best journalism schools in the world only accept people with higher education. They are taught the technique of this profession, but most of all they strive to develop in these "students" such an understanding of what a journalist is, that it becomes a second nature of a person. Nina Zvereva's book is addressed precisely to such people, that is, to those who are already working in the journalistic field. Everything the author writes about is what journalists face every day. This is an attempt to help them understand what they are really doing, how they can be journalists in the specific conditions of today's Russia. This is an extremely ambitious book as its author tries to answer endless questions. difficult questions that do not have a clear answer. This is a book that makes the reader think, doubt, question - not so much to others as to himself. And find answers. I'll end as I started: it's a good book. Vladimir Pozner,journalist

CHAPTER 1 "WANTON THETV" , ORHOWACHIEVESUCCESSATOURPROFESSIONS ? Whosuchjournalist ? Have you ever asked yourself this question? What is our function, what is our most important task? The doctor treats, the teacher teaches, the driver manages vehicle. What does a journalist do? In my opinion, a journalist acts as an intermediary between society and information about this society. That is, the task of a journalist is to tell people about themselves. What for? Then, that truthful information helps people navigate life, make fewer mistakes, and achieve success. Why exactly - an intermediary? In my opinion, many representatives of our profession artificially exalt it, feel like almost messiahs. In fact, a journalist simply obtains information, processes it and offers it to viewers (readers, listeners) in the form of some information product. I will make a reservation right away that the transmission of information in the form of news is only one of the areas of work of a journalist. As you know, any means mass media There are three functions: inform, entertain, enlighten. But to work in any of these areas, you need to collect information, process it and then serve it to the viewer as a specific dish in a particular genre. I may be objected by journalists of commercial publications or television companies, for which the main task according to the installation from above - to bring profit to the company. This is also true. AT market conditions 7

Good afternoon, friends! I am Taisiya Kudashkina and you are listening to the Websarafan Show! Today we have an incredible guest journalist, writer, speaker with 56 years of experience, mentor and business coach, two-time winner of the TEFI award ... And, of course, of course, the mother of three children and the “merry grandmother” of six grandchildren - Nina Zvereva! Today we will have a very, very unusual, sincere, sincere and deep conversation. Nina Vitalievna and I will talk about how to speak without excitement and how to speak so that you are listened to. And also, of course, about family traditions, about love, about life - about how to keep up with everything, how not to get tired, how to communicate heart to heart with children and grandchildren in order to always remain close friends! Believe me, Nina Vitalievna has a lot to learn.

Hello, Taisiya. You are very beautiful.

- Yes, you too. Thanks a lot. I'm a little worried, because you are a person who is a super-professional presenter, and a person who knows how to perform, and I, roughly speaking, grew out of my own shorts. Well, a podcast usually starts with a blitz. Blitz is eight questions that you just need to answer quickly, without thinking at all, that is, it is such a snapshot of who you are, a photograph. Go? Nina Vitalievna, how do you differ from others?

- What are you cool at, if you ask your friend? What is cool about Nina Zvereva, what will he answer?

- The family was successful and the career was successful.

What three words describe you?

- Beautiful, smart, kind.

What makes you get out of bed in the morning? What drives you, slang word? What makes you live? What do you like in this life?

- Communication, creativity.

– What are you most afraid of?

- Well, I have many children and grandchildren, so I'm always afraid for my loved ones, this, you know, is the other side of love. back side love is fear for loved ones.

– Who do you follow, who do you follow, who do you watch? That is, we ask for specific names of people who are of interest to you now, who are role models for you, so that we can also observe them.

- Yuri Dud, very interesting. I always follow Posner, he is my friend, we talked a lot closely. It is very interesting to me, a man of age and how cool he positions himself, and bypasses sharp corners, and yet does not betray himself, being in the mass media. This is an absolutely amazing example.

- Yes I agree with you.

- Parfenov. I love Parfenov all my life, I also know him well, I know him closely. Also, I really like my students. I can't name everyone. Well, there is Kiriyenko, he himself calls me his teacher, so I can name him. There is the director of the Moscow stock exchange Afanasiev, a wonderful speaker. There is Lokshin, first deputy CEO Rosatom.

– What wonderful things have you already given to this world? What is your mission? If you weren't there, what would he have lost?

- A cheerful, optimistic, not stupid person who also gave birth to the same children.

- Your motto, quote, phrase that is with you in recent times?

“Don't say no to yourself. And in life it is easy to realize only cool ideas.

By the way, your site and you yourself are a complete example. It is necessary not to humble ambitions, it is necessary not to moderate, it is necessary not to do there “stretch legs according to clothes”, this is not about us. It is necessary not to stretch the legs according to the clothes, and then it turns out. “Don't say no to yourself, but this is my daughter's phrase right now, who is a real business woman.

When I received the second TEFI award, I was preparing this speech, and then I got a new motto, like no one has ever quoted it: "Do too much." Your superfluous, which everyone is against, which no one approves of, which is terribly difficult, because it is due to sleep, due to food, due to health, this superfluous becomes necessary, because life is changing rapidly and challenges can only be answered if you are prepared. And I have always been like that, I have always done too much.

My parents called my third son "the third extra". They didn't understand at all. Two beautiful girls, everything is fine, but why, why give birth to a boy in a one-room apartment without food, without money, and I would not be happy without my boy.

- They always ask me questions: “How do you manage to overcome when everyone is against it?”, you just said yourself. When no one understands you, where are you inside yourself, like a core, find strength where do you find confirmation of your intentions, something to move on? What helps you do this?

- It's very simple. It's just asking yourself, "Will you be happy without it or not?" You always understand, I won't be happy if I don't have a son. Others have a son, I don't, and it's terrible, I have to have a son. Here he appears. I want the air, big and federal, if I work on television. Let it be on Gorky, but there I became noticeable, then there was a festival of television programs, I was not nominated for it, but Sagalaev arrived.

Proactivity, you see, it comes from desire. I want federal air, I'll show Sagalaev my work, he can't help but appreciate me, I'm cool. And I showed, and he appreciated, and I won this festival, and received an invitation to the youth editorial office. But then the most difficult choice is between two happiness. Because it is easier for people who choose one thing. Professional happiness or family happiness. And I chose both and always put family in the first place. Maybe this is my point of strength, because I never regretted it, although I had to give up very such things, well, from working on central television, for example, choosing a family, I just understood that my fulcrum is my family is my husband who is a great friend and support, expert, and kids. And it has always been with me, it has always been the main thing. I didn't rush, that's good too. They were in charge.

- I want to return to that moment about what we said, when you are striving somewhere, moving somewhere, when you ask yourself the question: “Will I be happy?”, We constantly fall, there are moments when something is not happened. For example, you yourself said that another girl was taken in your place. How did you feel at that moment?

- Well, I was surprised. It was a shame. Well, it's normal, you get angry, you get offended.

- And then?

- You don’t understand why all this is happening, and nights without sleep. There are no other stories, I guess. You just need to understand that without these moments, there will be no rise later, it’s true. Now even TEDs are about not success, but failure.

Because failures shape us.

- Yes. It’s just that they either take away all your strength and then you are worth nothing in this life, or they charge you with some kind of evidence to the world that you were treated unfairly, and maybe fair. Well, for example, any competition, the same "TEFI", in general, any competition is an absolute injustice, because at a certain time at a certain moment they gather certain people and they decide. And their decision is somehow formed, and this, of course, is a lottery.

I always explained this to my students, because to tears, to insults, I saw their programs, and the programs, perhaps, were better than the one that received the award, but I say: “So, clench your teeth and do it next year another program.

Therefore, if we start feeling sorry for ourselves a little and at least, how can I put it, focus on how bad they all are, and you are good, this is the road to nowhere. Still, you still need to always find the strength in yourself to put yourself on the other side and think, maybe they are right. It's hard, hard, but time passes, and you understand that there was something in it. In fact, somewhere did not hold out.

- How do you talk to your grandchildren, well, with children once, now with your grandchildren, when they give up, when they are ready to give up? What do you tell them?

Do you know what a family is? This is a support group, so when something is wrong with girls, I have five girls and one little boy, then I say you are good, everyone loves you, and you are not to blame for anything. Although, maybe at this time I think differently, I think that she is to blame, but I will not say this, because my task is different. They call me and talk to me to feel support. Sometimes, when a long conversation and a person is ready to listen, and even including some kind of criticism, then very carefully.

We discuss what is to blame. Well, for example, my daughter had problems with her boss, big problems, problems to the point of tears. It seemed to her that he would never let her get what she wanted. Never. She told how bad he was, and there was a lot of truth in this. And I say, okay, now let's try to look at you from the other side. Well, since she is smart, she herself began to laugh and says, Mom, what a horror. I say, well, you also walk around dissatisfied, look at him frowningly and don’t listen to anything at all, offended all the time, that’s how to lead you. And you know it helped a lot. Therefore, it depends very much, it depends, it depends very much, either they call me, the boy left me or I left the boy myself, and what should she do, and I feel bad, this is a dear person, and maybe I need to call and return, and in this case, I say that it's just life, it's just youth, you'll figure it out tomorrow, think about it tomorrow, and now thank you for calling, and I love you very, very much, you still have everything in life, and what happiness that you know how to make friends, I always find something to praise for.

I know how to give compliments, I know how to praise people. We have a very unloved, under-praised society, and when my students start doing the exercises, I always find something to praise for, they get inspired, and they succeed. there is another side of the coin, unfortunately, I myself am very dependent on compliments, for me it is gasoline, and when I am not praised, I am very nervous and worried.

- I also have two children now, they are small, they are junior schoolchildren, so these questions resonate very, very directly with me, and my mother, she is from that generation, for example, she thinks that I overpraise my children.

– I also had a friend who said, oh, you might think that your children will be left without food at all, you praise them so much, look smart, beautiful, close, they will have everything. And now many years have passed, I am sixty-five and she too, my classmate, and she says, Nink, I am very sorry, I am sorry, because they have many complexes, they scold themselves all the time, they criticize, because, as the beautiful woman Madeleine Albright: "The second name of a woman is wine."

And this is me ... reflection, what I was wrong about, what I did wrong, this is very feminine. And very smart and strong women they often criticize themselves very much, and this is often because they were criticized in the family. It seems to me that the family is the absolute rear, it is always the rear. And even if the child did something bad, he needs to be told that, you know, in my life, too, when I was little, I also made all sorts of mistakes and in general it’s normal to make all sorts of mistakes. That's wonderful. I really believe in you, you are the best. I'm sure it can't be overdone. The world will do the rest.

- I absolutely agree with you, they should praise and pull out the best from their children, but at the same time also teach them to work. Well, I know that you, I am sure that you will say this many times here, that your whole life is essentially plowing, right? In order to achieve something, we must work hard all the time.

- No not like this?

- Not. What the hell is plowing. I was always doing what I liked. I don't feel like plowing, no. I left when I felt that I was some kind of plowman in some field, I left. it is happiness to do something that inspires you, gives you the feeling of flying. What the hell is plowing, I'm flying.

- Wait, Nina, then we get a different postulate with you born here now, that is, as soon as it becomes difficult or as soon as some kind of plowing, it means that you are in the wrong place, right, is that what you say?

- Of course of course. I'm flying. For me, work is not plowing, it is a process of absolute flight.

Do you raise your children the same way? That is, you don’t force anything to do what, I don’t know, go to English if they don’t want to. I'm talking about this now, a parental dilemma.

You know, I have a very good husband. I was very lucky. Well, how lucky, I fought for him, fought, and it was my first love, and he was absolutely not going to choose me. Especially so early, I was twelve, he was fifteen, for him I was just a little kid and nobody, a booger. And he, he had his first love, a girl, his age, and I was terribly worried because I understood that a person was walking, a friend of my brother, a student of my mother, with whom I should give birth to children. I want to live with him and have children with him. But I have a very cunning, smart mother, she organized hikes, and she took her on a hike, this was not the first time, that's just five guys, me alone. Me and five guys.

- Well done mom.

- Well, they had nowhere to go, they were all in love with me, and I was just becoming a girl, and we slept in the same tent, and Vova told me, laughing, that they all crawled out of this tent, because there one place opens, then another, and they are nineteen years old, I am sixteen. And they crawled out, sat by the night fire, unhappy. And I slept peacefully, spread out, in this tent. In short, he had nowhere to go from me. I proposed to him when I was seventeen years old.

I was absolutely sure in my choice that I want to have children with him. In particular, and that's precisely because I would not be sad. With my desire to praise and understand, I would not be able to somehow motivate children to work.

You know, we, Nelya, the eldest, found strabismus, and Vovochka put glasses on her with a glued eye, and I took off. I couldn't see her with her eyes glued shut. I couldn't see how she suffered, how she bumped into the trees with that eye patched over, and he told me, we have to fix the strabismus, we have to survive this.

And for me he is an absolute authority, like this for two years, but it helped, and she began to look better. And so, so he taught them to work. He asked to see the result. And he also sat down with them, with little girls, and painted their day, showed how much time during the day, which is simply lost, goes nowhere. And now their working capacity is crazy, their careers are our combination. I praised, believed and enjoyed.

- Ironed.

- And I taught, of course, to talk and feel people, I always taught communications, I was in this area, and Vova taught them to work, achieve results, set all sorts of tasks for them. And when they studied, say, in the third grade, I solved problems with them, which are from the fifth. Well, he is an erudite and still asked, asked questions all the time. And I enjoyed it when, in the evening, in the kitchen, let's say, they discussed how it was right with Lermontov, under the hubbub of drunken peasants or under the clatter of drunken peasants. At the same time, I am a philologist, I am a philologist, I am a candidate of philological sciences, I don’t remember, but they remember everything.

Vova knows better than I do. And this is the feeling that he brought up knowledge, erudition and the ability to work, and I had communication skills and this empathy, we very much coincided. And my mother was and is, she is now ninety, and she arranged “granddaughter days” on Thursdays, this is an amazing format when I teach adult women how to perform, and suddenly I mention grandchildren’s days, then that’s it, we finish learning to perform, they write down how to do granddaughter days, mom made granddaughter days every Thursday for five years in a row, which consisted of three moments: something very interesting, something very tasty and something very fun. For something very interesting, students came and told the children about what they know, and it was five years, every Thursday, so the children grew up very educated, able to read.

- Friends, I'm trying to absorb every word, I really want you to hear.

- How many friends do we have? How many of us are watching?

– Now eighty-four people are watching us in a live broadcast.

“Big, big audience. Hi all.

Ning, let's go back. Once again, tell us the mechanics of these grandchildren's days. One more time.

- Tell your moms.

- Yes.

- So, grandmothers want to be friends with their grandchildren, communicate with their grandchildren, but they want to do it in such a way that they do not get tired, have fun and really benefit. Grandmothers themselves know a lot of interesting things. Someone knows how to knit, someone knows how to draw, someone knows how to read a lot of smart, wise books. But my mother, she is a teacher, she has a lot of students. Someone is a climber, someone is a biologist, someone is a chemist, someone is a physicist.

And she offered everyone to prepare a lesson for the grandchildren's day. The lesson for the grandchildren is fifteen minutes. Children's attention is fragile, and first children generally need to be fed. You always have to feed everyone. This is the law of our family. Mom came up with nuggets herself, she fried this very little thing in these breadcrumbs, it was very tasty.

And my dad also brought from Moscow either pineapple or banana, at the same time it was a terrible rarity, and they always had some kind of exotic food that they still remember. In general, it was delicious, while everyone was at the table, there were conversations about what is there at school or in kindergarten, and then the second series is something very interesting, and then either my mother cooked herself, for example, about Magellan It's amazing how kids learn, of course.

I recently did a seminar "Communication Geniuses" for teenagers, I was struck by two things from our current children, your children are the same.

The first is the speed of perception of information and depth, that is, I teach them for two hours how to talk so that they listen to you, or, for example, how to tell stories, children really like to be able to tell stories, and I can teach this, right? The next day I ask them what they remember, and they write absolutely everything that I told them on the board, this does not happen with any adult. They remembered everything. When they need it, they remember just everything.

Nowadays, world discoveries are being made by people at the age of seventeen or eighteen, yes, everything has become younger. amazing speed of assimilation, the first thing they struck me with. And the second - how I got into a mess with them, because I did the same techniques as with adults, and I say that a personal brand is when everything is important, how you tuck your hair behind your ear, what kind of earrings you wear, this everything, it all says about you, and, for example, what ringtone is on your phone. And I have complete silence in the hall, but I do not understand. You see, when the phone rings, the ringtone on the phone says a lot about you.

They immediately think.

- And there is silence in the hall, and then I guess, I say, your phone doesn’t ring, you don’t have a ringtone? They say no, why not? Their phone does not ring, they only write.

Yes, yes, yes, I agree with that.

- They turned off this sound a long time ago, why should they talk, why would they interfere in their lives with some stupid calls? They also write to their parents, they write to each other, they don't have ringtones on their phones, their phones don't ring. Fiction. And this, of course, is the world. And that's why my mother, she is such a teacher from God and very cheerful, which is very important, that's why she is about Magellan, she says, you know, I learned so much while I was preparing for these grandchildren's days, just a map of how he moved on his ship , like him, so everything was, and with questions, with answers, here they were sitting all around her in a bunch. At the same time, we have a principle, she called not only her grandchildren, but also their friends. In general, the principle is always the same, we always and still take grandchildren and their friends to the dacha, I just had seven Moscow schoolchildren at the dacha. Yes, it was a nightmare

- I represent.

- They woke up when we finished dinner, you have no idea. And they played table tennis under the light of flashlights at two in the morning. I cooked my signature borscht, and they bought some yellow and green liquid with chips, and they ate it all day long, and my borscht did not arouse any enthusiasm in them, although it is generally just always a signature dish. What borscht, this green muck with chips.

- I can imagine how hard it is, this horde of children who do not want to perceive the world like you, despite the fact that there is a great borscht, which is really tasty, which you know how to cook, they still eat what they like. How are you talking to yourself here? This is actually such a reflection, well, seriously.

- Absolutely not hard.

- Not hard?

This is how I was raised, and this is how I raise my children. Such happiness to accept them as they are, to look at them. Like fish in an aquarium, they should swim by themselves, God forbid they should be directed somewhere with their hands, they will simply die, right? Take the fish with your hands, hold it, do not give it air, and what will happen to it.

My parents were never afraid that their apartment would be bombed, they were right funny Games. Children, therefore, need to move, these are blind people, these are all sorts of running around a chair, who sat down, with prizes, of course, potatoes on a spoon. You know the potato on the spoon, no? Put a chair in the middle of the room, put a potato, such a big one, on a spoon, on a small one. And now let them run so that she does not fall, a very interesting activity. And my mom and dad, they also ran with these potatoes, spoons. And dad filmed it all with a movie camera, we have it all in the archive.

“Are you doing the same with your children now, no?” Now you have called them to the dacha, what are you doing there?

“Children, I mean grandchildren.

- Well, with grandchildren, yes.

- Listen, the children are forty-five, forty-three, thirty-seven, so that you understand, but I am sixty-five, but Nele will be forty-six, I gave birth to her at nineteen. And the grandchildren, well, now I have two kids, just very small ones - little kids, we have two three-year-olds, and these others are older there – Fullrange, in general, there is everything, of any age at your disposal.

- Yes, you have to wallow and play with the little ones, it's wonderful when everyone crawls, a small child, and you croak. They love all sorts of jokes. In general, they all love funny grandmothers. I am a funny grandmother.

- Cheerful grandmother, please tell us how you are with your grandchildren and children, you said that you teach them to speak so that they are listened to. Tell us exactly the same as you tell your children. This is a very, very popular topic right now. I’ll explain a little why it’s important for us now, you probably know this for sure, we now, in fact, live in public in principle. Now we have such an environment, such an environment that almost everyone has gone online. Even if this is not federal television, like yours, and not TEFI, nevertheless, we are still online all the time, and we, as entrepreneurs, need to be able to learn how to speak so that people find something in common between you , between speakers, between them, so that people listen to us. Suggest how to do it.

- Well, for example, I follow my granddaughter's words. I'm always watching, I've already heard a lot, and I can't turn off my ears, I'm listening. She tells something, tells for a long time, with details, but with details that are not clear to me, understandable only to her, and this is the biggest mistake. A person begins to tell what is interesting to him, what worries him, and it does not beat in any way, this does not mean that it is interesting to listen to other people, because other people are interested in them or about what is somehow with intersects them.

If you talk about love and tell it sincerely, then it always intersects, all our people experience it, thank God, and we cannot be indifferent to it, right? And if you talk about projects, or about some details of your studies, your thoughts about some book, or some professor, in general, in short, if you tell something that is interesting to you, but you do it, it turns out, for themselves, then, of course, people turn off.

The simplest rule is that people cannot be ordered to listen, you know, it’s impossible, and you can only make them listen when a person starts talking, we can’t speed up, slow down, or stop, so we just go into our thoughts and get nervous, because any person who claims attention, he takes our time.

We pay for any communication with our time, and we have an attitude to time, as well as to money. We feel sorry for the time. That’s a long time, that’s slowly, that’s what I want to say, but can’t we immediately go to the finale? In general, I try, you know, not to say offensive things, I have such a conclusion in life, I’m still sixty-five, you can already listen to me, I have experienced a lot of things, including my own mistakes, that offensive things and criticism, She doesn't inspire people, which is why I love compliments so much.

There are no people who adequately and quickly directly, qualitatively respond to criticism. They then think about it, so criticism must also be submitted somehow through a constructive one. And then tell me, and yet you know, here is my opinion such and such, although giving advice until they are asked is generally a dead occupation, you should never do it just like that. This is a man's story. We tell the man to complain, and he immediately gives us advice on what to do.

Yes, and we don't get it. We wanted some emotions in return, and he tells us that we need to do this and that.

- This is just a typical such dissimilarity between women and women. male characters. Horror, I said that I have this, and that, and this, he says, you know, you need to do this. Yes, I just need to say, my poor thing, my God, and what a fine fellow you are. That's just what I need, girlfriends do it, men don't. It is difficult for men to do this, and those who are able, they have a lot of women, because this is a man who is able to regret, and say a compliment, and admire, even in a situation where you complain, admire something or just say, Listen, I'm looking at you and admiring. You seem to have tears, but they suit you so well. Damn, that's why...

- Oh, the girl just blossomed like that, right?

– It is very useful for people to look at themselves, performing the simplest task. At Tanya's dacha, we also had an amazing lesson, just in general, in my opinion, very interesting. I asked to come up with a metaphor about loved ones. Here is your mother, who is she? What can you compare it to? With whom? And it was wonderful how she talked about her mother, how she was looking for this metaphor.

In general, here is a metaphor - this is a very good task, because through the image we understand much more and it is much more interesting. And the simplest thing is to tell about yourself in half a minute, in a minute and in a minute and a half.

For example, I have a son, he speaks very well, but always in great detail. And once I say, Peter, let me write you down, tell me how you were in America, lived for six years, what you learned there. What is the shortest time you can do this? He says, mom, well, a minute and a half. Well, great, put the camera, he told. He lived in America, he tells beautifully, with details, with images, a real speaker.

Listening to his stories is always a pleasure, but for a very long time. This is his problem. And when he finished, I say, what time, Petya, did you say? He says, a minute and a half, well, mom, really two? I say seven. Come on again. I say, well, it will be six now. I say, you sit down, take a piece of paper and write down three things that you want to tell.

A short speech is always good. The shorter the better, really, but it gets shorter if it's structured. My simplest advice to my students is to say three things, three, on whatever occasion you are asked to say, no more than three. And just say so, you know, there are three things that I learned in America. This is the first, this is the second, this is the third.

Or I had two difficulties and one joy in America. This is also a structure, you understand, and we are waiting: there was the first difficulty, the second, and this was the joy. Right now, Mikhail Voronin was opening Atlanta, a business forum. And he said, There is the word power, and power is you and me. There is a word together, but together - we just need to be together, face to face. And there is the word Atlantis, and each of us is an Atlantean. It was a very beautiful, very cool introduction. Three words, named three words and opened each one. This is a structure.

As soon as the structure appears, it immediately turns out to be short, and the call is mine, the trend of modern times is to speak briefly, cheerfully and clearly. And this triad, it can only be together, that is, one cannot speak briefly, understandably and not cheerfully, one cannot speak cheerfully, understandably, but not briefly, and so on. Only three work together. Briefly, that is, as briefly as possible, value the time of other people, give them the opportunity to say something or ask something. It's fun and clear, and a tool in communication that I strongly advise you to think about is simply to ask yourself the question: "How often do you ask questions to other people?" Taisiya, you're all right here.

You are really interested in other people. When you are interested in other people, people always really like this person. A person is always most interested in himself, and when other people begin to be interested in you and ask questions: why do you think so, why do you do this, but you haven’t tried this and that, listen, I’m listening to you, and I understand that or this is not true; Asking questions is what communication is all about. Communication is still a mutual process, so any long monologues, especially plaintive monologues, are a road to nowhere, this is self-reflection, this is when a person drives himself into a corner. We must treat ourselves with humor, with irony.

Friends, look what Nina says - the trend of our time is to speak briefly, cheerfully and clearly, to speak excitingly and not be afraid to be yourself, even seem like a loser somewhere. People fall for it, they are much more interested in hearing about how you failed some project and how you then got out of this situation. Elena Rezanova will talk about it. She will speak at our summit “Style, image, charisma. For business and personal brand” October 31. Lena will share her experience, she will help you overcome your fears and come out into the light, present yourself to the world. Join us! Online participation is free! Registration on the page - websarafan.ru/style

- Nina Vitalievna, let's get back to this triad you were talking about. Short, funny and clear. We talked about it briefly, and with a very understandable example on your son, I have exactly the same son with exactly the same problem. Let's talk about fun now. How can we make what we say be fun? So that what we are trying to convey is funny?

Do you know what my dream is? Go to standup school. I want to see how they are taught and how they teach each other. I have a friend Alexander Akopov, a famous producer, a man who speaks brilliantly. He does it brilliantly, because he always has fun, always, even when he is serious. He always talks about the difficult, the bad, very cheerfully. And I write for him, I see how he does it. And I know the secret. Actually, Zhvanetsky formulated: turn your life into a joke.

Now, don't take yourself too seriously. When you talk about what a loser you were, a lot more people will love you than when you talk about how successful you are. I did this, I also did this, I have three children, I also have two TEFIs, I also have three orders there, fu. But if you say that I, like a normal grandmother, love to cook borscht and in general I don’t have time to do anything and don’t know how to make up, that’s true, well, people will like it much more, you will immediately become a close, warm person.

People who know how to laugh at themselves, they make other people love and incredibly. And this, of course, is a sign of strength. Here my beloved friend Akopov comes out in front of a huge hall, so to speak, at VGIK, and he comes out, this pause is amazing, they look around with these Armenian, warm, such, black eyes, the hall and says, why are you stuck, guys, what are you, have you lost your mind? I'm standing here in front of you, a simple Armenian khachik, and I only know that I don't know anything, what do you expect from me? The people are laughing, and now their necks are stretched, you understand. And it's amazing, you have to be able to do this.

Or there in Sochi, let's say, April, in Moscow it's cold, and rain, and mud, but in Sochi it's hot and magnolia blooms, and the sea is nearby, and the pool is warm, and people have so many temptations, and he has a lecture on screenwriting. He tells me there will be no one. Me: Sasha, everyone will come to you, you are the kind of person everyone comes to. He did not believe it, but when he entered the hall full of people, he looked into the hall, and I am so interested here, just professionally interested in what he will say.

He is never in a hurry, by the way, he likes to pause very much. If you want to gain confidence, hold pauses and understand that nothing is lost anywhere, on the contrary, this attentive silence arises, such ... you see. Nothing happened, right? Such a good expectation and such warmth and delight.

- It spills like this, right?

- Yes. Here is this "Kachalov's pause". Do you know what a "Kachalov's pause" is? Vasily Kachalov went on the stage of the theater and when he spoke lines, he kept such a pause between lines, always longer than others, and no one ever thought that he had forgotten the text. He just lived this time in the image of his hero. Sasha enters the hall, Alexander Zavenovich Akopov, looks into the hall and says: “Sochi, April, magnolias, Radisson Lazurnoye and the lecture are not compatible.” The people laugh, he says, what are you guys, come on, come on, so let's study, but I, he says, is shocked. It's just a bunch of words, that's what I really love. I love it when nouns are spoken, because now the trend, the trend, is to draw pictures with words.

What are some cool phrases you say. Draw pictures with words.

- And if you want to tell about our broadcast, to others who did not have the happiness of being with us now, there are quite a lot of millions of people left, one hundred and twenty people are here, and many millions of people are not here, but suddenly they want to know what is here, you will tell them: “Morning, Thursday, everyone sits in front of their computer, and, in principle, we talk about everything: about grandchildren, about children, about conversations, about love, and it’s so good, so good, there is a feeling of some kind of attraction - I'll tell you more. Do you know where I'm sitting? I am sitting in Sochi, and here I haveRadisson Azure, by the way.

– Oh, how I love the Radisson Azure. There is a warm outdoor pool, wherever there is a warm outdoor pool, I will immediately lower the rates, call me. Especially somewhere in October, November, April.

- Warm swimming pool. Or thermo, or a warm pool. To keep me warm - warm, and the air from above is cold. I bought myself an ofuro, a Japanese bath. It is heated, you climb into hot water, and your head is under the stars. Super. I have a photo on facebook.

Friends, I know that you most likely listen to our podcasts while running, or in the car. Perhaps you are walking your dog in the park or cooking in the kitchen. But this podcast has so much to offer that your hand reaches for a pen every now and then to take notes. Don't worry, just relax and listen. We are recording everything! All titles, links and summary of the podcast are on the page: b log. websarafan. en/ podcast 98. There you can also download the book by Nina Zvereva, which she shared with us. This book is called “You have the floor! Speak without excitement ”and with its help you can learn a lot more about how to speak in an interesting, exciting way - so that you are listened to with interest. Pick up the book on page b log. websarafan. en/ podcast98.

- Nina, I will return you, let's finish. There was a triad. About understandable, fun, we talked, that is, your general recommendation.

- Look, about fun - this is self-irony, that is, to be able to laugh at yourself, to be able to tell what kind of loser you are, and immediately everyone will be drawn to you and will smile, the first way. But in general, if we talk about what fun is, we need to think about when at what moments we laugh. We laugh when there is a breakdown of logic, a breakdown of our expectations. We laugh, in fact, over ourselves, over the fact that we were waiting for one thing, but got another. Do you like tomatoes? One person asks another: do you like tomatoes? He says, well, I like to eat, but not really. I tell you the following. The teacher says, let's learn, kids, logic with your younger students. Well, for example, let's remove the excess. There are potatoes, carrots, onions and a Mercedes. I'll remove the excess. Vovochka says potatoes, onions, carrots are superfluous.

- Well, okay. Do something that wasn't expected, right?

- Yes Yes. This demolition of logic can be organized, in principle, from scratch. This is what Urgant always does, that is, we expect one thing, another comes, and it turns out very funny. Or, for example, sometimes when people say out loud what everyone sees, what everyone thinks, this is also very funny, that is, just a set of tricks. Well, let me give you an example, right? Awarding the "Made in Russia" award, a large hall is sitting, and Urgant is leading. And Irina Khakamada is invited to the stage to present the award. She somehow walks slowly, and somehow there are large steps, she is on heels, along these steps, somehow a little swaying, to which Urgant says: Ira, has the buffet been opened yet? Hall laughs, right? Hall laughs. Maybe no one even thought of this, but it's so fun, it's so cool, especially since it's possible with Ira, she knows how to answer. She says: no, they didn’t open any buffet, you have uncomfortable steps here and in general I’m angry, I give awards all the time and never receive them, I give them all, I give them, I never receive them, to which Urgant says: yes, it’s very insulting , you are also made in Russia.

- Clear.

- Well, you see, this is what it is, here to relax and even say such things, just comment. In general, we have a country that does not laugh much, although we love to laugh very much. Here is such a story that we are afraid to do it, we are afraid to get into a mess, we are afraid of unsuccessful jokes. But everyone loves a good joke.

“Is this a talent, Ning?” Well, take Urgant, it seems to me that this is a talent, or is it brought up somehow? You can read some books, learn some tricks. How to learn to be funny and develop your sense of humor?

- Well, I want to go to the stand-up school, because I'm sure that all this is a skill, a skill in general. Do you know who writes sitcoms, comedies? Write KVNshchiki. Do you know why KVNshchiki? Because they just know this mechanism.

My Alexander Zavenovich Akopov, he was the captain of the MISI team in his youth, but he says that this is just a trick. KVNshchiki always know how to joke, always. They know how to turn it inside out so that it becomes funny. They just understand how to break this logic. I learned to joke, but I know for sure that I learned to joke simply because I allow myself to say what comes to my mind funny, I allow myself to say out loud, simply because confidence has come.

I think a lot of people would be joking if they just weren't afraid of being judged and weren't afraid of getting into trouble. Were not afraid to look like losers. People are afraid of not funny jokes. And if they joked first, but no one laughed, then you must always put the squeeze on it, you must say: oh, something, apparently, is not funny, but it's funny, let me say it again and so on.

That is, a smart, confident person will not confuse, but you need to gain confidence. I am very worried about cute, smart, such introverts, educated, who are afraid to even toast.

– Very closed, yes. Apparently, somewhere in childhood they were not praised.

- No, fear. public speaking. There it's not just about praise, but it's just that the children need to organize platforms where they will perform. For example, in our house there have always been children's concerts, children's performances, and this continues to this day. You can see, I have such a YouTube channel, there are my summer films, and they are not terrible, terrible, because I edit them, I pay money so that they are short and bright.

But why am I posting my personal on YouTube, because I realized that this is my mission. I teach not only to speak, I also teach family life. And in this sense, I am such a role model for many of my students, and they just repeat.

They also do children's performances now, it's great. If you do performances in the country, if you do children's concerts, if you gather children of their friends for birthday parties, if you somehow play with them, then you teach children about publicity. Let them learn all this in childhood, keep people's attention and perform, because then they will suffer.

The fear of public speaking is very powerful. A person is afraid of failures, a person is afraid that he will not be adequately perceived and therefore he is silent. There are people who are talkative, charismatic, and there are people who are listeners. And often the listeners know much more and are much more interesting than these charismatics, these toastmasters with these endless same obscene anecdotes.

And these listeners suffer and are silent because they are afraid. Or maybe some teacher once said: come on, you can’t say anything - go sit down. All. For a person, this meant that some button had been turned off.

– And what to do with this, Ning? Well, well, let's say it's clear that we, as parents, now must and can somehow influence this in our children. Well, for example, my children go to the Waldorf School. Maybe you know about this mechanic. And there they make performances in the first class. Well, that is, in fact, their graduation is a performance in a children's class. In first grade, graduation is a performance. There, these children, who are seven years old, they calmly absolutely go on stage, forget if the lines, immediately find what to say. It's totally incredible.

Well, you are very lucky. Big - big respect to the teachers, because in general it is a big fuss.

- Yes, a lot of fuss, and a lot of fuss for parents.

- And then all the children want to play the main role, it's terrible, the distribution of roles is terrible. If your child was told that he should say “dine is served”, and another girl who is no different and even much worse than your child, like all other girls who are worse than my girl, and she plays the main role, she is Cinderella or she is Red Hat, and there are very few main roles. It is a great ability to conduct these children's performances, this is a great skill. I know it.

- OK. But what if we didn’t have such an opportunity, we didn’t have such a wonderful grandmother, school or mother, or we just didn’t get into this stream? What to do now? What do you tell your students when they are afraid to speak? How do you overcome this fear with them?

Every person has people who love him. This is how the world works. Let it be a few people, but there is. Real childhood friends who understand and accept you the way you are, and close people, relatives. And so we must overcome at least this moment in ourselves. First, start making toasts and prepare for them. Toast is also a small speech. And not saying toasts - in my opinion this is a crime, because people always expect good words from you, and even if you are silent, and if you suddenly get up one day and say: Katya, I remember the first time I saw you ... You know how I encourage my adult students to make a toast?

- How?

“I say you will have magical sex. I guarantee you. And that's it. And my men, adult uncles, directors of factories, newspapers, steamships, heads of concerns, finally, thirty years after their wedding, they say some beautiful, touching speech to their beloved wife for the first time. And they are shocked by the reaction. They are shocked how the atmosphere around has changed, what a happy wife.

Yes, she doesn’t need these diamonds and flowers, she needs you to suddenly tell some story from your youth, tell it publicly. Every time someone has a birthday, stand up and make a toast, even if no one expected you to. Stand up and say: I have always been silent, but today I want to say. You can't fail there. Toast is always good luck. It's just that even an attempt to say a toast is always a success, there can be no failure here.

But if you have to make a presentation to the management, and you're just - just a beginner, young vice president big company then rehearse this speech. Record it on a voice recorder, at least listen to yourself and you will be horrified by how fast, indistinct, incomprehensible everything is and how the voice sounds. Make another record, and another record. I mean, work on it. And it’s also good when you are already prepared, call your wife. Listen, wife, friend, and say: I'm speaking to the boss with a speech, now listen, please. Firstly, no one will ever refuse it, everyone is interested in what you do, we tell each other a little about what we do, others are interested. Secondly, this Feedback from a person who is not in the know and not in the know, can be very useful, because it is short, fun, clear - this means that your mother, your wife should be clear.

You see, very nice people come to my studio here on Dubrovka, here is the neighboring apartment - this is my studio in which we work, and they talk to me: Nina Vitalievna, I have such a problem, such, so I have to speak , anything else. So alive, so cute, so everything. I say, okay, that's it, here's the camera, here's the preparation, here we go. And this same person suddenly makes such a terrible face and begins to say these words: at the moment at the present time. At the moment, there is no word given in Russian. There is only the God-given. At the moment - at this moment or this is generally an extra word. The word is, only the Lord God is, there is no such word in the Russian language. And my task is to remove all these unnecessary words and show the person that, just as he just talked to me when he arrived, he should speak the same way everywhere, including such reports, such presentations. And this peeling, this husk, I take the nut out of this shell, you see. And suddenly, when he sees himself later on the screen, what really, Lord, it's all so simple, easy and so cool, and now he lights up, says: I have such happiness, I am such a happy person.

- It is so clear to me, so close to what you are saying, because Websarafan generally has such a mantra. Why are we able to work with small businesses, with small entrepreneurs, because for us this is a fundamental thing: we shift the language of marketers and the language of all these complex specialists into a language that is understandable ordinary people and understandable to entrepreneurs. And so what you say resonates with me very strongly, I see it all the time. I constantly see, friends, that you go on the air, and you become different. I don't know how Nina explains it to herself, I just see the consequence of this, the fact that you, as Nina said, are one in communication, completely different online. Why is this happening, Nina Vitalievna, can you explain why we are changing so much?

Yes, people think it is. They believe that this is the business language, they are business people, this business language should be spoken. Listen, Friedman just spoke at Atlanta for an hour and a half, probably holding the audience.

He was just sitting in front of us, such a nice person, tired, and thinking out loud, right now, you understand, when there is no difference in front of friends, or in front of bosses, or in front of clients, or in front of online listeners. That's when there is no difference, when you are harmonious, when you are the way you are. This is what people are reacting to.

When he answers questions, the editor-in-chief of Forbes interviewed him, what is money for you in general, a goal, a means, like what? He says, “Damn, this question gets asked so often, and I kind of, you know, get it wrong all the time. No, I need money, I remember when they weren't there, I need them. But this, he says, is exactly what can now spoil my children, so I'm not going to give them any money, not at all, perhaps I'll say it differently.

This is how the man thought, and we all watched how he thought. And I had the feeling that there was a fireplace nearby, that we were sitting there in some kind of dacha, and now he was talking to me. This is very costly. It's just to be yourself. People are afraid to present themselves as they are. By the way, I told reporters: television is very simple, just present yourself to the viewer as you are. Dot. The next phrase: but it is necessary that there be something to present. Do you understand?

Yes, that's a different question. Surely, my viewers think, Friedman has something to say, doesn't he?

- No, but he didn’t say anything special, all his wisdom, they are so simple and intelligible. In general, there is nothing new in life, there is nothing new in any book. And now I'm not saying anything new. You all understand what I'm talking about. The question is, rather, how to say, how to intonate and how sincere you are, that this is what we thought many times, suddenly it will pierce you. Here's what we're looking for. Therefore, if you have something to say, there are no other people who come here online and tell others something, then they have some important thought, some secret of their own, some experience of their own. Well, tell about it the way you tell your loved ones in the kitchen. And for this, you first need to tell your loved ones in the kitchen, and then you will find this language here. Do you know how I do the check? Here I have a man yesterday, for example, in Skolkovo just, I asked him to tell me about the city.

Young people are leaving, everything is bad there, these combines, factories have collapsed, and then a guy Oleg, a young one, came out and began to talk. Our city is a stronghold of some kind of historical spirituality, morality, statehood, was built in such and such a year, and now it is for everyone, for us, a kind of example, many wonderful people lived in our city, there are many sights in our city, and the inhabitants love our city very much, and we are trying to make it ... and there was not a single person in the hall who was listening to him at that moment, because he did not say anything. He didn't say anything.

I say, what wonderful people who lived there in your city, what is an outpost of spirituality, morality? Do not say the word spirituality, never at all, either people feel it, or you don’t need to talk about it. So is patriotism, I hate it when they say patriotism. Moreover, in our time, you need to understand that the thought with which you go into the Internet space, into the online space or to living people, to the audience, is one. Thought is one. It may have multiple proofs, multiple twists, multiple stories, but your thought is clear, your message is one, you can't have ten messages, then no one cares, people get confused.

If there is a meeting, and you call people there, there, there, they will all leave with different things, and then you will not do anything about it. I keep saying now that it is better to have three meetings of twenty minutes on one topic than one meeting for an hour on three topics.). And he had this idea, he had a very simple idea that the main task of young people is to direct their efforts and time to get to know themselves, to really know who I am and what I want. And the second is to follow this one, because happiness is only when he does what he loves. You heard it. You have heard it many times. And I heard at least once.

He just said it a little differently and by his own example. And this once again shocked me, so to speak, and I realized that this was my story, because when I felt a departure from some inner feeling of happiness, I immediately, immediately left. And my school, in the ninety-first year, I just became a staff correspondent of Russian television, I dreamed about it, received a certificate 001, I was the first to be hired by Anatoly Grigoryevich Lysenko, and it was such happiness. And I was immediately offered live broadcasts, I have three children at home, whom I have to feed, cook, and a husband, and in general, and parents, whom I always did not forget, I do not forget. And at the same time, there was also a school for speakers, that was the very thing that was superfluous.

I've been to the hospital twice, well, it's not easy, after all. I really ended up in the hospital, that is, right into the intensive care unit, because it was unthinkable that there was still school in the evenings and school on weekends. I didn't have days off at all, I raped myself when I was forty. And I understood that from this moment, whether I will have a school or not, whether people will come to me or not, whether they will believe me or not, my future life depends. Everyone told me no. Same as with my son. All. My own accountant said we'd be broke after the first flow.

Look, actually we were close to it. I wanted to create a paid school, recruited talented young people, and the first thing they told me at the first lesson was that they had no money. None. And already, when I was recruiting them, Sasha Lyubimov came to me, Eduard Mikhailovich Sagalaev helped me to recruit a school. I already rented a studio, I already rented cameras, I owed everything, and I had a crowd of talented young people with whom I later received TEFI, and I had no money. And I wrote a letter to the village and grandfather George Soros, I just wrote "Moscow, George Soros." At that time he founded a charitable foundation in Moscow. And he said in an interview that he was for honest journalism. And I wrote: I am also for honest journalism, I know how to teach it, I know how, give me money. And an uncle came to me, brought thirty thousand dollars in a package.

- Wait, wait, wait. It's just some kind of magic. That's what you're saying now, I know where the legs of this magic grow from, but you tell in your own words why, when we do something, why it all happened, why everything turned out like this, that's it, like it was by accident , but nevertheless it happened so, why? This magic.

Well, I don't think it's magic. I do not think so, because many of our calls to the Lord God, to fate, they do not respond or do not always respond. I have so many students and so many things happen, I see that they happen, no. No, no, there is still luck and luck, and then there is just preparation. I just read all the interviews of George Soros, and I understood that he wants to invest in journalism, you just need to study and know who, when and how to contact. And my letters were great. I only had four phrases. I knew what to write short letters I always tell everyone, write short letters.

- What was there, huh? What were the four phrases?

- I'm Nina Zvereva. I am a journalist and I want to organize my own school, I can teach, I am ready to teach, and I hoped that the school would be paid, I recruited people who have nothing to pay, and I want to receive a grant or any financial assistance because I have to teach on good cameras. If we want to teach journalism, we have to teach with good cameras, which I don't have. What should I do, where should I go? Instead of an answer, they brought me money and a paper that I filled out for a grant, well, that is backdating I applied for a grant, I received a grant, and then many more times I received grants from him for my school.

– What did you feel then? You then felt that, as I understand it, that you have many such cases in your life, right, yes, when you, in spite of, I don’t know, those around you, or maybe circumstances, still did what you wanted to do, right? This was one of those moments, describe your emotions at that moment.

- Emotions. Emotions are few, very few. Do you know how much TV equipment cost then? I understood…

- Do you mean little money?

- Well, of course. I have had despair in some cases. I realized that this is exactly what I need for three cameras and one editing, but to also teach, it is also to invite teachers to shoot these studios. I realized that I would spend my personal money on this, which I did not have at all. That is, I am saved, but, in general, half. These are the emotions I had. I understood that I needed more, more, something else to look for and do, because they would not pay.

- I promised my employees to help with apartments, I came up with the following scheme: we earned money, and I gave ten thousand dollars, fifteen thousand dollars was a lot of money, for them to improve, buy, you could buy one apartment for this money in a good place, and they had to pay me. And the very first time when they began to bring money and pay me, and I knew what their salaries were, I could not survive it, and it was very difficult for me to survive it mentally.

I saw that a person receives N amount, and he must give a third, and he has small children there, and this even affects our relationship. Although they returned the money to the school, they naturally received it from the school. This was my school, so it was also clear that I Self employed, one might say. And I just gave everything to everyone. In general, it was a terrible stupidity, because I didn’t have an apartment myself, I didn’t have a car, there was nothing, but I’m such a socialist, I couldn’t see how people suffer. And it was such an act, stupidity, not stupidity, I don’t know. Many left, by the way, got an apartment and left. But dont know.

Was it a hard time? Or vice versa?

“Listen, well, it’s like focusing on something good or bad. And it's a tough time right now because I'm in high demand, yeah I am currently enrolling students for April, but I can’t, first of all, I have finite strength, I need to recover. Secondly, there are parents, dad is ninety-three, mom is ninety, and I have to be with them, and they are in Nizhny Novgorod, and work and students are in Moscow. I live on a train, and I'm sixty-five years old, I always carry a suitcase in my hands. If I focus on this, I will tell you such a sad story how I can never just live in one place, wake up in the same bedroom. But I won’t tell you a sad story, because this is how my life turned out, I’m looking for everything ... by the way, I love the train, I fell in love with the train

- I understand you very much. I do not know what to do about this, I will not ask you this question. I understand that it's hard. While my parents are not yet ninety years old, but I already think, just recently we also talked with friends, but what to do what is called in America, there are whole programs on this subject, how to behave in these situations, how to go out, how to build relationship with them.

The fact that we are in our capitals, it hurts because our parents are far away and we often cannot help them, we talked with Guzel Sanzhapova, in podcast number 95. Guzel has a honey production in a remote Ural village, where mostly elderly people work . This project was born from the idea to help dad raise his business - the family apiary, which he inherited.

- And I can tell you what I concluded for myself. Here is the problem with my great age, but I want to live long and why not, I have someone to look at, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, I have something to do, you can write books at any age, I hope to keep my mind and cope with dementia. I want to make my own nursing home with my friends. (inaudible) still have subscribers. I'm looking for a warm climate, maybe Gelendzhik, maybe Essentuki.

- Sochi.

- and build beautiful house and there I will have students. It will be a small town, for example, Essentuki, where adult and small students will come to me, and I will live with friends and go to some terma, and we will chat, play cards and discuss the news. We will have a cinema, we will have a sports club, there will definitely be a warm pool. And I will have a chic completely old age.

But why do I want to organize it now, not now, in five years, because I don’t want my children, who can live anywhere, and thank God, the world is open, for now, at least, and so that they suffer that there is somewhere mom, dad and you need to visit them or you need to solve problems with medicine, you need to solve health problems, because when I have a training at Skolkovo and I see “Mom” written on the phone, I get scared terribly, and I take a break, no matter how many people there are. I say sorry mom. I’m terribly afraid, I’m leaving, and my mother says: Dad and I just watched such a movie, and there is this, that, that, that, that, she does not understand that I have a training. And I say: Mommy, I'll call you back. Well thank you Lord. But it's like this all the time. They are wonderful.

- All the time like a stretched string, yes-yes-yes.

- Yes. They are independent, they are wonderful. Dad plays the piano, mom feeds dad, but at the same time they have a cook, I organized everything there, medicine, which I organized. But they have the eighth floor, when the elevator does not work for them, they cannot go for a walk. It's just me, I can't do anything about it. I won't be like that. And it will not be so, not because I want a good life for myself, but because I do not want my children to have my life. I want them to come to us when they want, but not to worry every day.

- In childhood, when they are small, the task of parents is to love, support and give opportunities as much as possible, because in order for children to find themselves, to find this very thing that will then make them happy, successful, I don’t know, you just need to give opportunities, should be given a try: both sports, and music, and be sure English language, it's just our happiness of our family that we invest all the money in the English language of children. Well, the last money, the money that was not there, it would be better if we lived all the time, we borrowed from our grandmother in order to live up to the salary. But English was expensive. But you see how we gave them English, and as a result we have Katya, she is the head of Visa Russia, that is, all Visa payment systems and all Visa cards are my Katya. Before that, she was the first deputy chairman of VTB24, before that, VTB management, before that, Making the company, and before that, MBA America. Nelya is a professor of mathematics in Holland, the author of excellent books and a full professor in general, this is such a rarity, in Holland there are only five women professors of fundamental mathematics. And we have Petya, he is generally a business coach in negotiations, a negotiator, before that he was vice president of a large insurance company. That is, these are very successful children, including because they had English at the same level as Russian.

“Nina, it’s wonderful to just listen to you. There are a lot of comments about the fact that you are an amazing woman, about the fact that you are strong and wise, thank you for the inspiration

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I know that now out of those one hundred and thirty-five people who are on the broadcast, there are a lot of women entrepreneurs, this is a whole generation now that has grown up, started to do, move and achieve something in their life. And here we all have this question point-blank, in particular, yes. All the time on the scales, all the time on the scales. I'm going to do something here for business, and here I have children. I will do another project or make a meeting with the company, and here my children will sit, who will lose my love. How do you solve this dilemma? She tortured me, to be honest. I don't know what to do to solve this dilemma, and how to talk to myself.

- Well, firstly, the amount of time you spend with your children is not the main indicator at all. The main indicator is the quality of the time you spend with your children. This means that if you are with children, then you are with children. No more phones, no more distractions, they are terribly offended by this, close and will no longer be frank with you.

Promises must be kept, and if you promised that you would spend time with the children on Saturday and go somewhere, and at that time you have an invitation somewhere to the cinema, to the theater, to a restaurant, I don’t know, some crazy online, for some amazing seminar you want, you should go with the children on Saturday, as promised, this is a priority.

Promises to children must be kept, that’s why I so rarely made promises, but when I promised to take them to the sea, to the Crimea, there was a story like this, the water was nine degrees there, it’s just that the cold is terrible, but we took them to the Crimea, and they dived into this cold sea, they dreamed a lot, and Vova and I decided to postpone it for a year, just deceiving expectations is impossible, therefore promises.

And time with children, you know, fifteen to twenty minutes a day is enough for us, but if this is serious, if you sit down with a child and talk about his friends, about what he wants, not what grades you have, show the diary , No. Time with a child is when you do what he wants, and then he has the feeling that his parents are there all the time, because it's not the amount of time that matters, but the quality of the time.

And in terms of priorities, I have a theory of such magic torches, I call it, here you have it, if you want a lot in life, and all of us women want a lot of things, and love, and family, and children, and work, and partners, and money, and rest, and girlfriends, and all this at the same time, but it’s impossible, that is, the first piece of advice is to immediately admit that you don’t need it at the same time, and if you are doing one thing, you don’t have to rush to where - something else. You have to be consistent, you have to, if you do something, you do it.

- Not in parallel, but in series.

- In no case.

- First I put energy in one direction, then I switch to something else, right?

- Yes Yes. And just admit it, today I have this. And I made a lot of mistakes. When I came from Nizhny to Moscow, I had to solve a lot of problems, and once a smart person, to whom I, all sweaty, came running late to a very important meeting in a cafe, said to me: Nin, where did you come running from now, how many meetings in Moscow? I say, well, I have children there, my husband, I say, three or four meetings in Moscow. He says, it’s impossible, you haven’t succeeded in any of them, it’s impossible in Moscow.

You make an appointment with a person who is important to you, you should come calm, sleepy, make up in general, as it should, you should sit, not look at your watch and that's it. Here, he says, you have one day - one meeting.

It was very difficult, because there were so many things to do, again, the children whom I fed, watered, cooked, and there were also queues. And as soon as I did: one day - one meeting, everything began to work out for me. I prepared for this meeting, I walked calmly, I arrived early, I was in no hurry, and everything worked out. It was much more effective, then I realized that if you are doing something, then do it. Cook food - cook.

If you have fifteen minutes and you need to cook borscht, don't cook borscht, it won't work. You will forget to turn it off, it will boil over, you will do everything wrong. Get ready - get ready. I always do it in the country in the morning, while everyone is sleeping. Here at eight in the morning I get up, I do it with such pleasure, I like it on four burners, so that everything boils and everything is cooked at the same time, and then I have food for two days. I can go quietly for a walk, because you will come from the festivities, just warm up.

But it happens that one of these burning torches that you throw into the air, catch and throw them there again, it starts to fall, and the ground under you can catch fire. Well, for example, you suddenly see that the husband is offended, like a man, offended that he, as my husband once told me, you know, I stand in line all the time. I was shocked by this phrase, I thought it was wrong. You can not do it this way.

He understands that I have a school. He understands that I have a job. He understands that I have shootings, that I have children, that the problems of teenage children, they all need to talk with their mother, they should not talk with their father, but with their mother they should talk about it, with their father about business, and with their mother there about personal things. And he's in line. That's not the point.

And then I start procrastinating, you know, nothing fucking disappears or disappears. So you got sick, ended up in the hospital, God forbid, but I had this, and nothing disappeared anywhere, neither the school, nor the family, nothing. I was in intensive care for a month, nothing disappeared, for me it was a conclusion. I was on maternity leave for a year, only once with my son, I came to work at my desk, and they told me: Ning, tomorrow there is this and that, that and that. I realized that I was gone for a year, no one noticed. I came and everything started as it was.

This year was such a year for me that I lost my qualifications, that everyone forgot me, that the audience forgot me. Nobody forgot anything. Therefore, there is no need to be afraid, there is no need to be frightened, you can calmly put everything aside if some kind of torch is burning under your feet. And then everything, excuse me, a romantic dinner, and sexy lingerie, and everything that is needed there, everything that men love, and do it with pleasure, because otherwise no one needs it, neither you nor your man. And then that's all.

Then only he is the main thing, and so that he understands that he is the main thing, so that he understands that there is no queue, that he is the main one. And so it happened to me that there were very tempting offers, well, very, well, very important for my career, but I flew to Holland to Nele, who, alone, without a husband, with a child, made her way there again, and I understood what I needed come and cook food, just cook food.

No one could believe it, because there are so many things to do, so many opportunities, prizes, competitions, festivals, they call me to lead there, I don’t know, “TEFI”, but I have a child there, and she feels bad, and I have to be there , cook food and make dumplings, because I will leave, and the dumplings remain frozen for two months. And this is mom, you know, here she is cooking dumplings, and this is greetings from mom.

“Nina, you just say such amazing things, I’m going to cry right now. we are here today with you all the time talking about the fact that the most important thing is one thing on which we are concentrating. One thought - one meeting, Nina Vitalievna told us, at first. Then we also always talk to you when we talk about texts, one thought - one text. One day, one meeting.

There is only one important thing that you are working on right now, and you are working, as Nina Vitalievna said, not in parallel on all at once, but sequentially. And if we communicate with children, if we are with them now, then we must be here and now. One day, one meeting. One meeting with your child, with your loved one, with your work. I have literally two last closing questions. You read a lot of books, right? I would like you to just tell us about some book that has definitely changed you for the better, and you recommend reading it to entrepreneurs.

- Well, I'm sincere with you here, I don't read books. I don't read now. I buy, here they are all, the most fashionable, here are the ones I hear about from students, but I don’t read them. I'm bored, I'm long, my eyes get tired. I write books, I don't read. But now the time has come when I also love video bloggers more than long texts.

Apparently, something so youthful in me woke up. So, if I read, then I read some clever thoughts, I look for them, aphorisms, I need them for work. Still, the work takes a lot of time, and I take and renew myself, design something new for myself, look for what I really need in an applied way.

- How are you looking? Through what? Not through books, then through what? Through bloggers?

- Through Google. Well, everyone is looking for everything. Ranevskaya again, I love her. Here I am still looking for and finding something new, excellent, here I also love Sarah Bernard very much, I adore Coco Chanel, there are so many good phrases and thoughts I like watching movies, but very rarely gets a good one. Thank God, I have my favorite students who help me, and there are children who say: Mom, watch this, watch the series "The Big Bang Theory", this is in general, this is in general.

- Oh, well, yes, it's simple, of course, yes.

– Firstly, my husband is a physicist. You know, when my husband and I sat down to watch, everything was not funny to him, and I was even afraid to laugh next to him, it’s better for me to watch it alone. And there is also an Indian, and my son-in-law is an Indian. There are also so many intersections, it was so cool. Or some romantic series, like How I Met Your Mother, that was my candy in the evening.

I read a lot. Well, I'm a philologist, I studied at the philological school and studied for one five, it turned out that those books that I had to read there, I read all my childhood. Dad read the classics aloud a lot, and this, of course, had a very strong influence on us. Dad read until I was twelve of my years. It was a simple ceremony, in general, there should be rituals and traditions in the family. Here is our performance at the dacha - this is a ritual and a tradition. Rituals and traditions make a family, they must be followed. For example, all the children and grandchildren come to my mother's ninety-year anniversary, no matter how busy they are.

And here are my father's readings of both Theodore Dreiser and Jack London, I remember them, these books, I think that they greatly influenced me along with my father's voice. And then the books that I read myself, "The Catcher in the Rye", like many, in childhood "Winnie the Pooh", funny, funny poems, here is still “Wild Dog Dingo”, because I am a romantic person, it somehow strongly influenced me, Turgenev “First Love”.

“And when I became an adult, more or less an adult, because I got married at eighteen, gave birth at nineteen, for me the book that shaped me as a mother in many ways was Dr. Benjamin Spock. Now it is almost forbidden, it also says, you can slap a child, yes, on the pope, give out emotions in general, because this will only make the child feel better if you do not hide it in yourself. But there was just all the time there was consolation that everything is all right with you. Both you and your child are fine. Because it was written there for every age how terrible this child is, and, it turns out, they all are like that. Terrible two, terrible three. So I remember that Benjamin Spock was such a medicine for me, I knew him by heart, in my opinion. Each time I took it in my hands with the birth of each new child. Amazing.

– Yes, in fact, you are right, well, it is very, very necessary, the absolution of these sins, so that a woman does not feel eternally guilty.

“Well, Dale Cornegee, I guess. But when I read Kornegi, I understood that I would write better. That was my challenge, that's how to make friends, I know everything, I'll write better.

- Nina, did you write?

- Well, I think so, but the real bestseller never happened, because I want it to be five hundred thousand readings, purchases. Well, twenty times reprinted, "I speak, they listen to me" has already been reprinted sixteen times, "Rules business communication”, anyway, this is not the bestseller, not the book that the whole world knows. I want Posner to call me on his air, for this you need to write a bestseller. Or Dud, Dud is even more interesting.

- Yes, by the way, it seems to me that it is much easier to get to Dudya than to Pozner.

- No no.

- Get in if you want. You always have a goal, you go to it, right?

No, no, no, it's luck. Luck and luck. Gotta get in. Gotta get in the audience - Well, okay, okay. Do you have a mentor now? Who influences you, who do you look up to?

- A very sad question, because there used to be a mother, but now she still has sclerosis, and she often repeats herself, and often asks the same questions. I am very sad, because a very, very smart mother, who gave such instructions. And now the answer is not at all sad: my children. They are my mentors. It's amazing when a child calls me, my child or grandchildren, and says: read this urgently, look at this, send a video, send some very important things. And Katya suddenly sent “Five Love Languages”, this is such an amazing thing. And Nelya, too, there is only one book about success, "What is success." And that's when they, in general, raise me, educate me, and these are my best experts nearby.

– What language of love do you have, have you determined? I just read this book too, I wonder what yours is.

- I will have a terrible answer: gifts.

- Present? And I have touch.

- And words. Touch, you know, it's trite. I think it's for everyone, actually. But if prioritization is done here, then words, words, compliments, first of all, kind words and gifts.

- Why is it terrible? Well, in the same place, in fact, he tells all such banal things. That all languages ​​are banal.

“Maybe I will never have money at all in my life, never at all. Because when I got them, I immediately began to scatter them.

- Okay, and the last thing is parting words to our entrepreneurs. Let's tell them, here's what they can do, think about, maybe think about, get up, go somewhere, something that they can do in seventy-two hours that will really change their life or their business.

“And why do you take the number seventy-two hours?”

- And there is such a phrase that if you listened to something, learned something interesting for yourself, and did nothing for seventy-two hours, then with a seventy percent probability you will forget about it and do nothing about it .

- Good. Buy sexy lingerie, light candles, and make love to someone who knows how to do it.

"Even if it's not your husband?"

– Seriously, then give yourself, finally, to this. Women, they do not know how to give themselves for real, they are used to pretending, unfortunately. say compliments to loved ones here for seventy-two hours. You always have an internal list. Say kind words, so real, from the heart to people, you will see how they react. We just say very few kind words to each other, there is no such tradition, unfortunately. Tell me how important this person was in life. Tell me how you remember how he once said or did something to you. Well, buy gifts.

Gift is one of the languages ​​of love.

Yes, but a good gift is not a gift. A gift is something that a person, maybe he doesn’t even know about it himself, but it suits him very well, and something for which you always feel a little sorry for the money. It's just that a gift is bought, in fact, for oneself, only then it is good. It must be given away.

- Well, thank you very much, Nina Vitalievna. It was just an amazing episode. I really wish you to get on all those broadcasts wherever you want, both to Pozner and Dud, because you will definitely change this world for the better, and some other number of people will begin to think more deeply about their lives and become better. Thanks a lot.

Thanks, Taisiya. All the best, goodbye.

- Goodbye, all the best to you.

- Yes. Well, friends, we talked with Nina Vitalievna Zvereva, we just got a wonderful broadcast. the most interesting thought of those one and a half hours of beautiful ether, this soft, enveloping one, as Nina told me, that it is necessary to describe with pictures, so I describe the ether to you: just soft, enveloping, beautiful, kind ether, which left so much in our heads - so much - so much happiness. The most important thing I heard was, as usual, confirmation of my own theory.

I always talk about this book, which is called "Theone thing” by Harry Keller, I read it last year, and, in fact, Nina just explained the same thing to us with examples: about the fact that the most important thing is to concentrate on one thing, there is another such phrase, about the fact that where you have a focus, there you have energy, that is, in order not to be scattered, in order not to ask yourself the question “What is the most important thing for me now in this life? What should I do at this particular moment? And how can I keep up with everything and make such an amazing career as Nina’s, and at the same time be with my family?”, for this you need to always concentrate on one thing. And this rule, it applies to everything in general, to any and all those things that you touch.

We talked about texts, our editor of Websarafan, Marina Vasilyeva, in the past, always said: “One text - one thought. One thought, one text. Nina told us the same thing about meetings. One meeting, one thought. All.

If you are with your children, then only take care of them and be the best you can be in this moment. I incredibly liked both Nina Vitalievna and what we talked about here. I myself will listen to it many, many, many more times, Nina talks about how to speak in public.

We have a summit right at the dawn, at the end of October, on the thirtieth, thirty-first and first of November, we will have a summit on style, image and charisma, where we will talk about how to make your inner match your outer, about how to put on makeup, how to act in front of the camera, how to work with your voice, how to speak properly. All these amazing things should be revealed with us at the summit. Registration is free as usual. websarafan.en/promo I'll be waiting for you, I'll be in Moscow, come to us live or join us on the online broadcast.

Our next issue will be with Alena Vladimirskaya, headhunter and recruiter of all Russia. We’ll talk about how to attract people to your team if you don’t have a hundred thousandth budget, and no one knows about your company yet.

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