she: I want the whole beard of Hottabych ..... I got it !!! Oh, and I'm hurting myself ....

he: gyyy)) dreams, you know, are material - you wake up in the morning ...... and you have a beard)))))

Preamble: There is a new girl at work... such a sweet and smiling, direct competitor and namesake of our blondie Svetochka. We communicate with her today for life, Sveta comes in with experience, smiling languidly says: "Oh, Zhenyok, between two Lights ... guess desire and all...
No less languidly I answer: "I wish both."
Result: an indignant snort from the old Sveta and a sharp departure from the office, from the new side a kiss on the cheek with the phrase: "It will definitely work with one"))

What am I to? Guys, feel free to voice your desires, spring is all the same.

ZY "Today they will give us!" (With)

Met with a friend.
We drank wine, watched TV, where they played the new "Old Man Hottabych".

So and so, they made love.
And of course we are not up to the movie.
In the "process" face turned to the side of the TV (I'm behind).

We finish, and a friend allowed her.

And at the same second, a funny emoticon in the form of a govastik appears on the TV screen (in the film, Hottabych was rewritten to live on the Internet).
The tadpole neighs and joyfully gives out:
"Dad!? Mom!? You did it!!!".

I almost fell out of bed from surprise)))

It was in the army. Often I was on duty at night and there was nothing to do writing
letters. I wrote to a friend in the fleet and a girlfriend. Friend, so as not to be sad
in the Navy I tried to write more cheerfully, like "Hey, spine! Hello
caps from boots .... then I picked up the girls .... drank beer ....
vomited, etc.". Well, what can a friend write to? I write like "Hello
Galenka! You are my gray-winged dove, the light of my eyes. I am yours
a soldier, an excellent student in combat and political training .... "And so in each
letter. And I wrote very often so that there were more letters in response. And
looking ahead, I’ll say that I added myself to the fact that I mixed up the envelopes.
In two or three weeks I receive a letter from Gali and did not immediately open the letter
recognized his handwriting. My condition was semi-conscious. In general, she
returned my letter to me and attached a note to the wretch, like "I realized that you
mixed up the letters, but I'm so cultured that I didn't dare to read
him." We never corresponded again.

What about a friend? A friend in the navy, the crew is small, the voyages are long and that's all
joy and sorrow equally. Letters were also read to everyone. All my letters
were cool and the sailors loved them. Well once again my friend got
a letter from me, all the sailors gathered and began to listen and my friend
reads "Hello Galenka! The light of my eyes ....". Sailors ha ha caught
they think I'm kidding. And the more they listened, the more
it came to them that I mixed up the letters. According to my friend "A week
pissed with boiling water. "What about me?

Narrated by: Cartoon (seksnarod.ru)

Relatively recent story about my Japanese colleagues

A week ago we were sitting in a restaurant with two Asian brothers; during conversation
someone remembers that recently in Tokyo there was a big fire in the local
red light district.
The Japanese supported the topic vividly - yes, a terrible fire, the girls also died,
and clients .. houses there are more and more high-rise, many are easy to escape
failed. And it should also be noted that the younger Japanese is unmarried, and,
naturally, a frequent walker in such quarters - both in Tokyo and where
whatever..
So he told us the following: on the morning after the events mentioned, I,
says, I sleep, I don’t touch anyone, I don’t know about any fire yet .. Calls
telephone. When I wake up, I pick up the phone - there is my mother:
- Oh, son, are you alive?! Well, thank God..
She's already seen the news..

Two young, handsome, sexually liberated guys will get acquainted with
two young, beautiful, sexually liberated girls for
have a good time in their territory. With one condition:
girls, mind you not to peep!!!

hello, I see you have red eyes, you must have been sitting in the abyss all night without closing your eyes. let me disturb you. now slowly turn your head to the lower right corner of the monitor and look at the clock. YES YES! now with the cries of FUCKING BITCH, upload some fucking movie and fuck here to work because I'm your boss and I don't know any other way to draw attention to myself.

SEREZHIK (11:08:13 16/06/2008)
Oh, Muse, the light of my eyes! Your friend Sergey sends you greetings! How did such a bright day start? Did you get lazy from the weekend?)))
Muse (11:10:05 06/16/2008)
)))) oh, my affairs are unimportant, I slept very badly)
EARRING (11:10:37 06/16/2008)
what could prevent you from sleeping so sweetly and wonderfully?
Muse (11:12:04 06/16/2008)
in the night all the music thundered, and until the morning it was noisy.
Muse (11:13:33 06/16/2008)
no one could punish them, and so I wanted to sleep at night)
SEREZHIK (11:15:03 16/06/2008)
Could they poison their joy, set the gendarmes on them
Muse (11:16:09 06/16/2008)
yes, like someone came out, they said something angrily
SEREZHIK (11:16:12 16/06/2008)
Or is the gendarmerie not knocking on every door now?
Muse (11:18:17 06/16/2008)
yes, our law guards did not even appear with us
Muse (11:19:58 06/16/2008)
Although how exactly things are, I would not be able to say correctly
EARRING (11:20:42 16/06/2008)
Please accept my sympathy, but don’t take it as impudence)
Muse (11:24:08 16/06/2008)
Thank you for understanding, I am flattered by such attention))
SEREZHIK (11:36:16 16/06/2008)
My God, you don’t even think of flattering, God won’t punish you for the truth. You are a MUSE, your beauty will light up a gloomy day in the morning
Muse (11:52:13 06/16/2008)
Already blushing - embarrassed, and this is your only fault))
probably days and nights with such sweet speeches
beauties spin their heads
so am i right? you tell me)))

Number - congratulations from Old Man Hottabych with games

Presenter:
Dear birthday girl!
A guest from the East has come to you,
He is a famous doka in miracles!
On the carpet he, so quickly,
Arrived for the Anniversary!
This is the well-known and amazing Old Man Hottabych!

(Hottabych comes out in a dressing gown, a turban, with a long beard, with a rug under his arm. Folding his palms in an oriental way, he bows to the birthday girl, says to her: “Hello, O most beautiful of the birthday girls!” Then he turns to the guests: “Hello, honored guests! ”She spreads a rug, sits on it, bending her legs in an oriental way, and then says to the birthday girl):

Hottabych:
Oh, the light of my eyes! The incomparable and most beautiful birthday girl Antonina! I came here to fulfill all your deepest desires! But first, my wisest one, let me ask you some wise questions!
(birthday girl allows)

Hottabych:
I listen and obey!
Oh, my dearest! Let me hear my first question:
Is it possible to celebrate a birthday two days in a row?
(the correct answer is no, because there is a night between them!)

Oh, my darling! My second question: what is given to the birthday girl, and people use it more often than she?
(correct answer is name)

Oh, my wise one! And my third question: what kind of fabric cannot be used to sew a costume for a birthday girl?
(the correct answer is from the railway)

May there be peace and prosperity in your house, O healing balm of my soul!
And now I will fulfill all your secret desires! And I will do this with the help of your venerable guests, O most beautiful of the beautiful! And so that the guests do not resist your desires, I will pull out three hairs from my magic beard!

Listen and understand! (pulls out first hair)
Fulfill all wishes of the birthday girl! (pulls out second hair)
Let it be so, and not otherwise! (pulls out third hair)
(gets up from the rug, approaches the guests with an oriental bow and tells them):

Hottabych:
Oh distinguished guests! Now you will fulfill the wishes of the birthday girl by completing these simple tasks. I beg you, for everything I’m ready, to pull out each of your tickets!
(Hottabych takes out a bag with numbers from his pocket and the guests draw them out in turn, then Hottabych gives them a task in turn):

TASKS FOR GUESTS:

Kohl came to the Jubilee,

Drink some vodka soon!
***
Have a glass of wine
For a rosy face!
***
Treat the neighbor on the left
A stack of vodka skillfully!
***
You, my friend, have the right
Smack on the cheek of a friend on the right!

compliment now
Birthday girl from us!
***
To make it more fun
Sing us a song soon!
***
Good guests today
Throw away your shyness
Tell a joke
This is what people want from you!
***
We'll have fun
If you get up now
In the pose of a swallow, my friend,
Toast telling us a small!
***
Birthday girl with us
Feast for the eyes, just class!
Come to her, hug
And smile at all the guests!
***
Kiss the birthday girl
Just don't play too hard!
***
Well, and you, my friend, the wall
Kiss, standing back
Forget for a while
About chondrosis, my favorite!
***
Describe a circle with your right foot
Knocking on the tummy with the left hand,
At the same time, you try to drink a glass,
Not a drop should be spilled!
***
Use modern jargon now
Confessing love to the birthday girl
My order is the strictest law,
You speak without hesitation!
(after completing all the tasks, Hottabych says):

Hottabych:
Oh, beautiful birthday girl! And now the main surprise that I have prepared for you!
To please your wonderful eyes and ears, as well as to bring joy to distinguished guests, now my students will perform an oriental dance, not sparing their belly!
(2-3 girls in oriental costumes come out and dance a belly dance to some oriental tune or the soundtrack of the song “Rasputin” performed by the Boni M. Hottabych ensemble is very suitable, then he comes up to the birthday girl, kisses her hand and says) :

Hottabych:
Oh, mistress of my thoughts! I leave you before next day birth!
(bows to everyone in the east and leaves)

A gift for March 8 Leading 2 students enter the music. Presenter 1. Good afternoon, the most talented, the most musical, the most athletic, the most needlework, in general, the coolest guys. Presenter 2. And also the most patient, most cheerful, kindest, most restless respected teachers! Dear women! Mothers and grandmothers! Sisters and classmates! Teachers and students! We congratulate you on Women's Day! wish wonderful life, joy! To all of you we promise our loyalty, attention, devotion and strength! Only for you we live and exist! Our hearts beat only for you! Only for you we fight and win! Only for you our strength and weakness! Only for you our feelings and passions! Only to you - the first smiles of spring nature, tender March flowers, wonderful poems and songs, lovely ladies, sorceresses, enchantresses, who have been sung and serenaded at all times. Presenter 1. Today for you is an "Unusual Concert", which, by the way, will be held under the code name "Gift for March 8". Music calls. Host 2. I see you are looking forward to the appearance of the artists. So welcome to our members! (Applause.) Shapoklyak enters. Shapoklyak (sings). I love my friends On the street and at home To commit a funny dirty trick, Pour water on a friend, Throw a rat to a friend, Salt jam for my friends. Presenter 1. Who are you? Shapoklyak. Ha. And you don't know me? Presenter 2. We are generally waiting for artists. How can you please us? Shapoklyak. No, I'm a bad artist, but we are pleased to invite our friends to the stage, the Singing Childhood ensemble. Song Lead 1. Shapoklyak has been chasing the crocodile Gena and Cheburashka all her life. And now, in my old age, I decided to settle down and take up teaching activities to teach children to shoot from a slingshot. Host 2. Meet the next participant! To the music of Neauu Meta1, Little Robber enters in headphones and dancing. Robber. Class! (He sees the empty chairs on the stage.) Where are the suitors? Host 1. Do you mean the male participants of the concert? Robber. I don't know what gender you have here, but I was promised a bunch of suitors here. And what kind of company hangs out here? (Points to the audience.) Presenter 2. These are the audience, Robber (grinning). It turns out a cool little thing, a full hall of spectators, but where are the men? One kind of old woman hangs out. Shapoklyak (indignantly). What? Robber (grabs a knife and a pistol). What problems!? Presenter 1. Calm down, please! Robber (gloomy). And I'm so calm as a boa constrictor. Only now I think, for the sake of which I drove the car so that the traffic cops were a little right 1

not taken away had to unfasten the "greens". Presenter 2. Well, since you were in such a hurry, what can you bring to our attention. Robber. Meet the "Tuning Fork" group with the song "Tender Heart" Presenter 1. Little Robber, when she was still very young, no one could have thought that she would grow up as a robber, because she was an obedient, kind and very sympathetic girl. But with age, her character began to change. Presenter 2. Meet the forever young and charming ... Baba Yaga enters to the music. Presenter 1. Something today our concert is not going well, some unpopular artists are coming to us. Baba Yaga. And I brought you a musical gift. Christine, on stage! The song "Native Home" Presenter 1. Baba Yaga is rarely a Russian fairy tale without her. She was also in a hurry to our concert and, as you can see, she was not late, because her broom can compete with any racing car in speed. Presenter 2. Well, now let's welcome our strong half of the participants. Carlson enters. He preens, straightens the butterfly, looks around the audience, looks at Shapoklyak and immediately goes to her. Carlson. Oh madam! Well, let's get to know you. Shapoklyak. Naughty! Hoho! Sweet, sweet little brat! Carlson. Madam, do you know how to bake buns? Shapoklyak. What? I know how to smear glue on the benches that lovers sit on. Carlson. Wow, I don't play like that!.. Harmful old woman. Shapoklyak. What! You will still answer for the old woman! Presenter 2. Dear artists! Behave with dignity and listen to the song “Spring”, “First Drop” Presenter 1. Our dear Carlson, a moderately well-fed man in his prime, who dreams of finding himself a life partner who knows how to bake buns. Lead 2. Oh, young children! Our next hero is the great and mighty Hassan Abdurakhman ibn Hottab! Hottabych appears, bows to everyone in the Eastern way, then claps his hands. Slaves enter to the music, one treats the participants with sweets, the other brings him a veil. Hottabych manipulates this coverlet in such a way that the ARTIST has time to slip behind it at the edge of the stage. The hosts take hold of the edges of the bedspread, Hottabych "conjures", drum roll, he removes the bedspread and everyone sees the ARTIST behind him Song "Wolf" Barsukova Yulia Host 1. So! Hassan Abdurahman ibn Hottab! Hottabych. Just call me Hottabych, without ceremony. 2

Presenter 2. And where is our third participant Stas Mikhailov? Hottabych, where are you going to take him? Hottabych. Well, you know, the holiday is just around the corner. He has concerts. But he gave us a greeting card. Music sounds. Hottabych claps his hands and gives the disc. VIDEO FRAGMENTS Presenter 1. Somehow I don't like our guests. It would be better if we invited Cinderella, Snow White and there would be no problems ... Baba Yaga (she smiles and hugs the presenter1). Do you have problems? Robber and Shapoklyak (hugging Lead 2 from both sides around the waist). You just tell us and there will be no problems. Presenter 2. Well, then we will continue our concert program. Meet Evgenia Mikhalchenko with the song "Grandma's Umbrella" Carlson. Festive mood, I want songs, I want buns. Presenter 1. Well, well, for us your desire is the law. The song "Lady" performed by Rubanova Elena. Carlson eats buns Presenter 2. Hottabych, if you like any of the women present here, what gift will you present to her first of all? Hottabych. Oh, the light of my eyes, the fire of my heart! This person will receive as a gift my priceless beard. You know that any wish comes true if you pull a hair out of your beard. I want all women to be healthy, happy, less upset over trifles. We give you the song “Mommies” Presenter 1. I give you spring wishes: Great love, gifts, eternal passion, And so that the tender word “I love” Not only hear on holidays, but also in bad weather! Happy holiday to you, lovely charming women, the beautiful half of humanity. Happy Women's Day March 8! Presenter 2. You are all so beautiful today, So charming, gentle! Look at once it becomes clear: Around the breath of spring! At this difficult job, Among computers, papers, children, you bloom brighter than ever, As if there is a kind magician nearby, Who gave you a miracle To be young, to live lovingly, And, of course, I took over the washing, kitchen and dishes! So be happy, healthy, Take on everything passionately, And we are ready to substitute our reliable shoulder for you. We wish you good luck in business, Love is beautiful and great! You smile, which means that everything in life will be fine! Presenter 1. Charming, attractive, charming, infinitely tender, Happy Holidays to you! May flowers smile at you on this day with spring rays And may they always go through life with you 3

Love, health, happiness and dreams Host 2. We once again congratulate you, our dear women, mothers, sisters, grandmothers on behalf of all men. Happy holiday! March 8! Shapoklyak enters. Shapoklyak (sings). I love my friends On the street and at home To commit a funny dirty trick, Pour water on a friend, Throw a rat to a friend, Salt jam for my friends. Presenter 1. Who are you? Shapoklyak. Ha. And you don't know me? Presenter 2. We are generally waiting for artists. How can you please us? Shapoklyak. No, I'm a bad artist, but I'm happy to invite my friends to the stage, the Singing Childhood ensemble Song Shapoklyak (indignantly). What? Carlson. Oh madam! Well, let's get to know you. Shapoklyak. Naughty! Hoho! Sweet, sweet little brat! Carlson. Madam, do you know how to bake buns? Shapoklyak. What? I know how to smear glue on the benches that lovers sit on. Carlson. Wow, I don't play like that!.. Harmful old woman. Shapoklyak. What! You will still answer for the old woman! Robber and Shapoklyak (hugging Lead 2 from both sides around the waist). You just tell us and there will be no problems. Baba Yaga. And I brought you a musical gift. Christine, on stage! The song "Birthplace" Baba Yaga (smiling hugs the presenter1). Do you have problems? Robber. Class! (He sees the empty chairs on the stage.) Where are the suitors? Host 1. Do you mean the male participants of the concert? Robber. I don't know what gender you have here, but I was promised a bunch of suitors here. And what kind of company hangs out here? (Points to the audience.) Presenter 2. These are the audience, 4

Robber (laughing). It turns out a cool little thing, a full hall of spectators, but where are the men? One kind of old woman hangs. Presenter 2. Well, since you were in such a hurry, what can you bring to our attention. Robber. Meet the "Tuning Fork" group with the song "Tender Heart" Carlson enters. He preens, straightens the butterfly, looks around the audience, looks at Shapoklyak and immediately goes to her. Carlson. Oh madam! Well, let's get to know you. Shapoklyak. Naughty! Hoho! Sweet, sweet little brat! Carlson. Madam, do you know how to bake buns? Shapoklyak. What? I know how to smear glue on the benches that lovers sit on. Carlson. Wow, I don't play like that!.. Harmful old woman. Shapoklyak. What! You will still answer for the old woman! Carlson. Festive mood, I want songs, I want buns. Hottabych appears, bows to everyone in the Eastern way, then claps his hands. Slaves enter to the music, one treats the participants with sweets, the other brings him a veil. Hottabych manipulates this coverlet in such a way that the ARTIST has time to slip behind it at the edge of the stage. The hosts take hold of the edges of the bedspread, Hottabych "conjures", drum roll, he removes the bedspread and everyone sees the ARTIST behind him Song "Wolf" Barsukova Yulia Host 1. So! Hassan Abdurahman ibn Hottab! Hottabych. Just call me Hottabych, without ceremony. Presenter 2. And where is our third participant Stas Mikhailov? Hottabych, where are you going to take him? Hottabych. Well, you know, the holiday is just around the corner. He has concerts. But he gave us a greeting card. Music sounds. Hottabych claps his hands and gives the disc. Hottabych. Oh, the light of my eyes, the fire of my heart! This person will receive as a gift my priceless beard. You know that any wish comes true if you pull a hair out of your beard. I want all women to be healthy, happy, less upset over trifles. 5

The estimated duration of the script is 1.5 hours.

NOTE. The name and surname of the general director, the name of the city are fictitious.

Guests are seated at tables. Music is playing.

When the music stops, the presenter comes out.

LEADING.

The people languish in anticipation

And there is no reason to delay any longer.

That's why it's his birthday,

To make the glasses ring.

Rolls already cut

Crystal sparkles in the light.

Although we, of course, are aesthetes,

But let's break the beauty.

Having poured, we will certainly have a bite,

And pour again - this is the law.

And since our boss is excellent,

Cancel boredom and template.

Discarding everyday life, problems,

Forget income, plan...

We all want for you today

Perform even if not a cancan,

But what you will taste,

Our inimitable boss.

Kohl that is not so - do not blame me,

But it's time to start now.

Push the roses aside

Forgetting that at the helm ...

Let our "happy birthday"

For you to play roles.

STEP 1

A boy comes out (the role of the young director is played by a girl: frail or, on the contrary, full - for fun). The boy aimlessly, thoughtfully walks around the stage (this may not be a stage, but a space free from tables), kicks a soccer ball lying under his feet with the words: "I love sports!" Attached to the side is a "pointer" locality, in which events unfold or the general director was born - "Pytkovka". The boy's attention is attracted either by a vessel or a vase. He picks it up and turns it around with interest.

The leader offstage reads poetry. When it comes to the vessel in the verses, the boy, according to the text, first wipes the vessel with a handkerchief, then "rubs his hand on the edge of the vessel."

LEADING.

No, agree, not by chance

We have a director general -

Mr. Petrov himself!

After all, there were many applicants

Treasured to this office,

But their efforts were in vain

And that's the joke of fate!

Your growth is rapid, career

Found our exemplary family man

Not immediately and not suddenly...

And it all started sometime

When our boss walked in the guys,

He was not noble, not rich,

How suddenly found a vessel!

Proud of my find

He took it in his hands quickly:

"Know, gold! Shines! .."

Rubbed his hand on the edge of the vessel,

Suddenly flies right out of there

An old man with a beard - what a miracle!

sneezed and says:

After the words "He sneezed and says ..." the light in the hall goes out for a moment and then turns on again. This is necessary so that Old Man Hottabych "appears" in front of the boy. For this role, you need an oriental robe, skullcap, beard. The boy steps away frightened and watches the unusual old man from the side.

HOTTABYCH (sneezing). Phew! Finally, I got rid of this ill-fated vessel, be it amiss. I’ve already lost count of the centuries, how they imprisoned me there. To whom do I owe my miraculous deliverance?

The old man looks around, notices Sasha Petrov. Falls on her knees before him.

HOTTABYCH. Oh, the most kind and wisest of the youths of this most blessed city with the euphonious name "Pytkovka". Do I owe my release to you?

PETROV. Y-yes.

HOTTABYCH. Oh my savior! Oh, the light of my eyes! Prophets, lad, how should I address you. For there is no more beautiful name on earth than yours.

PETROV. It's right. Just call me: Alexander Anatolyevich Petrov. And it is possible on "you". What's your name?

HOTTABYCH. Oh, dear Alexander Anatolyevich! My name is known to all in the east. I am Ghassan Abdurahman ibn Khottab. I am the most powerful genie in the universe. There is no desire that I could not fulfill.

PETROV. This is good, but with such a patronymic, dear ibn Hottab, you can be quickly "replaced". Well, okay, Hottabych, so Hottabych (pah, pah, pah - don't say it by night). So, dear son of Hottab, let's not waste time. I have a little wish list here, so let's go straight to it. (The boy takes out a long scroll from his bosom, unfolds it and begins to read):

PETROV. So, these are my top priorities. What do we have here?

"Get an elephant and a crocodile" - we skip it.

"Become an Olympic champion in side jumping" - this is also skipped.

"Kiss Verochka Pugovkina" - this has already been done.

"To marry a girl named ... (the real name of the director's wife is indicated)" - this will still have time.

"To give birth to a boy and name him ... (the real name of the director's son is indicated)" - this is what I will figure out how to do without magic.

Yeah, here it is: "I want to walk around in a tie, have a lot of people under my command, and so that they walk with me like a ruler." Can you, dear Hottabych, do this?

HOTTABYCH. For you, the wisest, anything. Fuck, tibidoh, tibidah! ...

Congratulate the birthday boy
The brave fellow is torn!
Let me introduce you:
Salted Cucumber!

(a man dressed up as a cucumber comes out, that is, he has a long green cap on his head, you can hang a bindweed made of artificial leaves around his neck, he sings a song to the hero of the day):

THE SONG OF THE SMALLED CUCUMBER:
(to the motive “Let the pedestrians run clumsily through the puddles”):

You sit like a cucumber
And a nice suit.
You got it on this morning!
You celebrate your birthday
You invite everyone to the table
So it's time for me to sing a song!

I am pickled cucumber
I'm standing here on my birthday
And I sing like a fool
Your song!

You are beautiful and so am I!
You and I are similar
Just like two drops of water!
Have a bite to, in Russian
There is no better snack
Without me, neither there nor the village!

I am pickled cucumber
I'm standing here on my birthday
And I sing like a fool
Your song!

I wish you
On this anniversary day
Always be young and everywhere!
And of course I wish
You will, I know
To always keep a cucumber!

I'm pickled cucumber
I'm standing here on my birthday
And I sing like a fool
Your song!

Dear birthday boy!
On your beautiful birthday
I give you pickles!

(gives comic gift- a small jar of cucumbers)

3. Scene "Old Man Hottabych and Company"

HOST:
Dear birthday girl!
A guest from the East has come to you,
He is a famous doka in miracles!
On the carpet he, so quickly,
Arrived for the Anniversary!
This is the well-known and amazing Old Man Hottabych!

(Hottabych comes out in a dressing gown, a turban, with a long beard, with a rug under his arm. Folding his palms in an oriental way, he bows to the birthday girl, says to her: “Hello, O most beautiful of the birthday girls!” Then he turns to the guests: “Hello, honored guests! ”She spreads a rug, sits on it, bending her legs in an oriental way, and then says to the birthday girl):

HOTTABYCH:
Oh, the light of my eyes! The incomparable and most beautiful birthday girl Antonina! I came here to fulfill all your deepest desires! But first, my wisest one, let me ask you some wise questions!
(birthday girl allows)

HOTTABYCH:
I listen and obey!
Oh, my dearest! Let me hear my first question:
Is it possible to celebrate a birthday two days in a row?
(the correct answer is no, because there is a night between them!)

Oh, my darling! My second question: what is given to the birthday girl, and people use it more often than she?
(correct answer is name)

Oh, my wise one! And my third question: what kind of fabric cannot be used to sew a costume for a birthday girl?
(the correct answer is from the railway)

May there be peace and prosperity in your house, O healing balm of my soul!
And now I will fulfill all your secret desires! And I will do this with the help of your venerable guests, O most beautiful of the beautiful! And so that the guests do not resist your desires, I will pull out three hairs from my magic beard!

Listen and understand! (pulls out first hair)
Fulfill all wishes of the birthday girl! (pulls out second hair)
Let it be so, and not otherwise! (pulls out third hair)
(gets up from the rug, approaches the guests with an oriental bow and tells them):

HOTTABYCH:
Oh distinguished guests! Now you will fulfill the wishes of the birthday girl by completing these simple tasks. I beg you, for everything I’m ready, to pull out each of your tickets!
(Hottabych takes out a bag with numbers from his pocket and the guests draw them out in turn, then Hottabych gives them a task in turn):

TASKS FOR GUESTS:

Kohl came to the Jubilee,
Drink some vodka soon!

Have a glass of wine
For a rosy face!

Treat the neighbor on the left
A stack of vodka skillfully!

You, my friend, have the right
Smack on the cheek of a friend on the right!

compliment now
Birthday girl from us!

To make it more fun
Sing us a song soon!

Good guests today
Throw away your shyness
Tell a joke
This is what people want from you!

We'll have fun
If you get up now
In the pose of a swallow, my friend,
Toast telling us a small!

Birthday girl with us
Feast for the eyes, just class!
Come to her, hug
And smile at all the guests!

Kiss the birthday girl
Just don't play too hard!

Well, and you, my friend, the wall
Kiss, standing back
Forget for a while
About chondrosis, my favorite!

Describe a circle with your right foot
Knocking on the tummy with the left hand,
At the same time, you try to drink a glass,
Not a drop should be spilled!

Use modern jargon now
Confessing love to the birthday girl
My order is the strictest law,
You speak without hesitation!
(after completing all the tasks, Hottabych says):

HOTTABYCH:
Oh, beautiful birthday girl! And now the main surprise that I have prepared for you!
To please your wonderful eyes and ears, as well as to bring joy to distinguished guests, now my students will perform an oriental dance, not sparing their belly!
(2-3 girls in oriental costumes come out and dance a belly dance to some oriental tune or the soundtrack of the song “Rasputin” performed by the Boni M. Hottabych ensemble is very suitable, then he comes up to the birthday girl, kisses her hand and says) :

HOTTABYCH:
Oh, mistress of my thoughts! I leave you until the next birthday!
(bows to everyone in the east and leaves)