How to attract the right and useful people. How to attract people to you: secrets from intelligence officers

It happened to you that it seemed as if the whole world was against you and failures were coming one after another. Have you ever thought about whether it is possible to attract and increase luck? And this does not mean various rituals and magic.

Luck is not something paranormal, it is something we create with our thoughts and behavior.

There are scientists who conduct real scientific research on the topic of luck. According to Richard Wiseman, a professor of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, who has done several studies and published several books on luck, it does turn its back on some people.

Here is one of the examples he talked about:

"One woman had 8 accidents on the road, about 200 km long. She was also unlucky in love. After she registered with a dating service, a man who could become her couple fell off a motorcycle and broke his leg. The second man from Dating agencies crashed into glass door and broke his nose. As a result, she met her future husband, but the church where they were going to get married burned down the day before the wedding.

But can luck be changed? Scientists think it's possible.

How to attract good luck in your life

1. Study your choices.

Most associate luck with the game of chance. And while there is some truth to this, a lot of luck has to do with the choices we make. Even the smallest choice can define who we are and, surprisingly, people with certain qualities who are attracted to us.

Also, choices can affect the environment in which we find ourselves, how we spend our time, and how we perceive the world. It all determines how the world perceives us and the possibilities that flow from that perception.

2. Don't focus on failure.

No need to worry too much and think for a long time about the failures that life brings you. Of course, you will need time to study failure and its causes, but even at that time, think about how you could avoid failure, find right decisions, answers and opportunities.

How to bring good luck to your home

3. Think positively and find the positive in your failure.

Every failure should be treated simply as a life event that does not greatly affect long-term success and happiness. So you will be freed from the shackles of failure that bind you.

Positive thinking can really change your life. Just imagine: if you think about the bad, then it is unlikely that you will have a desire to do something useful. Let's say the weather forecast says it will be sunny over the weekend. You were preparing to have a picnic, but suddenly it began to rain. You should not curse everything and everything, but you should just think that the day will still be good and you can find good alternatives to a picnic.

Any failure needs to be worked through. Here are a few steps on how to do it:

* You need to separate the accidental or inevitable from what you yourself are responsible for, even partially.

* Ask yourself the question: "What good can I take from this situation?". Simply put, find loopholes that can be used to turn failure in your favor.

* Restart your chances to open new doors, new opportunities. Take up something new.

How to attract luck and money

4. Treat yourself like a winner.

If you tell yourself daily that you are a winner, you will become a winner. It may sound silly, but try to say every day, "I'm a winner. I can do it. I'm smart and happy." This can have a positive effect on your life.

5. Be more open to different possibilities.

Very often, when we go somewhere, we expect a certain result. If we go to a party, we hope to find new friends, if we go to a store, we want to buy something at an attractive price.

However, this approach is too straightforward. We go after certain things while ignoring the other possibilities that surround us. Try to be more attentive and open to other possibilities and surprises. It pays to be more spontaneous. So you will significantly increase your chances of attracting good luck.

Attract luck and money into your life

6. Visualize what you desire.

Before you achieve something in the real world, imagine it in your head. What you can create in your imagination can also appear in the real world. Moreover, visualization prepares you for possible obstacles and problems.

7. Ask yourself what you want.

Lucky people understand that the most effective way to get what you want is to simply ASK. By asking questions, you open up opportunities for ordinary people seem to be pure luck.

8. Think that everything will be fine.

Optimism is not magic, it helps us move towards our goals. A pessimistic attitude only drives away opportunities.

How to attract good luck and money to the house

9. Do more good things and good things will start to attract you.

By doing good deeds for people and the environment that is important to you, you create a favorable background around you, which, in turn, will lead to the fact that kindness will be attracted to you, and with it good luck. People will appreciate and respect you, and many will want to help you and, if necessary, support you. Simply put, the more positivity you give away, the more good things you will get out of life.

It is also worth being generous with new people. Helping them, not hoping to get something from them in return, you attract good luck.

10. Be prepared.

To be successful, you need to prepare well. Luck appears when you are given an opportunity, and you know how to take advantage of this opportunity, because you have the necessary knowledge and qualities. You need knowledge to recognize opportunities in the noise, you need experience to recognize the signs that opportunities form, and you need courage to take risks.

11. Stay away from energy vampires.

Try to surround yourself with talented people strong character and avoid people who are called energy vampires. These are people who suck the life energy out of you with their behavior, their words and actions.

Ways to attract money and good luck

12. Stop complaining.

To attract good luck, it is worth making some changes in your behavior. For example, get rid of the habit of complaining. Try to think more about how to help people. Discipline yourself and set the right goals that are worth striving for. Don't let fear stop you. Real workaholics create energy around them that attracts good circumstances. Luck is not an accident, but a product of what you do.

13. Feel the moment.

Do not rush to the front line, getting into the thick of the most difficult battle. It is worth studying the whole situation and choosing the most suitable case. To avoid failure, it is worth thinking carefully. For example, if your boss comes in tired, you don't need to tell him the bad news right away.

How to attract luck and money yourself

14. Don't judge yourself harshly.

Too critical self-esteem drives away luck. Stop telling yourself that you are a failure or that you are not strong enough. Happy man has the best qualities, and you should understand that you have everything necessary qualities to get your way. If you learn not to judge yourself harshly, then you will not even notice small mistakes.

15. Rejoice.

People from whom luck has turned away simply do not know how to rejoice. They do not understand what happiness is, so they just expect incredible luck. However, luck must be respected. Even if a little luck smiled at you - rejoice at it. Lucky people even rejoice in the fact that they are lucky with good weather.

16. No need to blame fate.

Lucky people are independent. If you have not coped with something, then the worst thing is to fall into fantasy and start thinking that now everything depends on fate. Luck turns away from those who give up and wait for sudden luck. For a successful person, luck is not something that comes by itself, it is the environment in which he operates.

How to attract luck and money to your home

17. Take risks.

By doing nothing, you will not attract good luck. A person who is unlucky is usually simply afraid to take risks, but the lucky one simply acts and does not think about a guaranteed result. The fact is that there are no guarantees anywhere, but by inaction, a person deprives himself of even possible luck, but the lucky one, approaching the matter with optimism, can attract good luck.

18. Learn to overcome obstacles.

Try to convince yourself that any peak can submit to you. If you are not sure about something, then it is worth studying the biography of prominent people, many of whom have reached certain heights without having anything behind them. Also, when overcoming obstacles, you should not share your plans, as envious people can harm you with their negativity.

How to attract luck and luck

19. Finally, for psychological support, you can surround your home with things that bring good luck.

* Money Tree.

* Horseshoe above the door.

* A frog with a coin in its mouth.

* Turquoise bracelet on hand.

* Lucky talisman (everyone has their own).

20. Who is the luckiest:

Extroverts: spend more time with other people, more interested in opportunities.

People who are not neurotic: tense and constantly anxious most often do not take advantage of opportunities.

People who are open to new experiences: if you resist new things, your life will not have bright moments.

People who sometimes deceive themselves can be surprisingly lucky, and here's why:

* Superstitions can boost productivity.

* Wishing someone good luck makes them improve.

* Illogical overconfidence improves productivity and improves teamwork.

Scientists believe that self-deception can reduce stress levels, increase self-esteem, which in turn increases motivation and performance during competitive tasks.

If you feel lonely, if you are bored in your surroundings, you need to know how to attract the people you like to you. Most often includes those with whom we meet at work or in the process of studying. How about attracting into your life the people you like the most?

What attracts or repels people in interpersonal communication?

Communication is the most important part of our life. If you want to attract interesting people, then you yourself must become such a person. First of all, you need to figure out what attracts or repels people in interpersonal relationships. Perhaps you should start with positive qualities that others like:

neat appearance;
tact;
competent and clear speech;
breadth of outlook;
respect for another's point of view;
openness;
listening skills;
sense of humor;
interest.

Remember that you need to not only acquire attractive qualities, but also get rid of negative ones. The latter include the following:

slovenly appearance;
selfishness;
narcissism;
rudeness;
excessive mannerism;
talkativeness;
disregard for someone else's point of view;
isolation.

A little about external attractiveness

The first thing that attracts people in interpersonal relationships is, of course, appearance. Follow some simple rules to evoke pleasant emotions in others:

Observe No unpleasant odors should come from you, skin and hair should be clean. Keep an eye on the condition of your hands and nails.
If you are a girl, go to a meeting with light makeup to hide skin problems and emphasize facial features. If you are a man, be sure to shave your stubble or trim the contours of your beard.
Find your own style of clothing that will emphasize your unique personality. It should be original, but not vulgar things.
Your clothes must match the occasion. If you are going to a formal event, a business suit is required, but it is quite possible to come to an informal meeting in jeans.
Watch your posture. A straight back and turned shoulders are the characteristics of a self-confident person.

Eye contact

Making eye contact is essential to attracting the people you like to keep in touch with them. Thus, you will demonstrate to the interlocutor that you are interested in him. If you are embarrassed to make eye contact and cannot keep contact for a long time, use these techniques:

when the interlocutor starts talking, start counting the number of blinks he has;
imagine that your gaze is glued to the pupils of the interlocutor, and if you look away, you will experience severe pain;
if you feel that the person is embarrassed by your gaze, periodically break eye contact by looking at some objects (but this should be done as if reluctantly).

Learn body language

Non-verbal communication is much more informative than any words. Gestures will help you unravel the true mood and intentions of the interlocutor. Here are the key points to master if you want to know how to attract people to you:

Notice the smile. If a person sincerely rejoices, the cheeks rise along with the corners of the mouth, and the eyes become moist and become a little narrower. If such signs are not observed, this indicates a strained smile.
Look at the toes of the interlocutor's shoes. If they are directed towards you, it means that the person is interested and having fun. Otherwise, it is better to end the conversation so as not to seem intrusive.
Interest in you and your story demonstrates the position of the body of the interlocutor. If he leaned towards you, this is an auspicious sign. Otherwise, the person has no desire to continue the conversation.

Learn to find the right words

How to attract the people you like? Learn to talk to them by choosing the right topic. So, the person is already in front of you, and you need to start a conversation somehow. Use these recommendations:

A successful acquaintance begins with a compliment. Find something to praise the person for. Maybe he has an original outfit, or maybe he made a very successful speech. In any case, a compliment will defuse the situation and initiate further dialogue.
If you are interested in a person with whom you have mutual acquaintances, this will be an excellent occasion for dialogue. Tell about your relationship with a friend and ask how your interlocutor met him.
If you can't find common ground in any way, "eternal themes" will come to the rescue. Cinema, music, television, art - in one of these areas you will surely find common ground.

Be the initiator of further communication

Let's say the meeting went well. But how to attract people to you in order to establish long-term and productive contacts with them. Most likely, you will have to initiate further communication. Take note of these recommendations:

Use the topics that you discussed during the meeting to continue communication. So, for example, if you were talking about work, send to email some useful information on this occasion. If the topic was art, stay tuned for announcements of exhibitions or concerts. Invite a new friend to attend the event together.
Try to find out about important dates. For example, such as a birthday, wedding anniversary or professional holiday of your new friend. Remind yourself periodically by sending congratulations by e-mail.
Use social media. Be sure to add as a friend, "like" photos, share interesting information.

Meditation

The power of thought plays an important role in achieving success. How to attract the person you like? Use self-hypnosis or meditation techniques. Whenever you have an important event or acquaintance with important people do this exercise:

turn on relaxing music or audio recordings of nature sounds;
take a comfortable position in which you can relax all the muscles;
mentally or aloud, give yourself a positive attitude that everything is fine in your life, you are interesting to people, you will easily make new acquaintances;
after 10 minutes you will feel that your body has become light, and your thoughts are bright.

Be active

Surely everyone wants to know the secret of how to attract people like a magnet. The main rule is activity. You must be constantly on the move, constantly in sight, everywhere to take part. Be proactive in your work, organize friendly gatherings, visit public places (concerts, shopping centers, cafe, gym). You will become so recognizable that you will no longer look for an approach to others, but they will dream of meeting you.

How can we overcome something negative without resisting it? This question reveals one of those delusions that (sometimes for a lifetime) prevents us from getting what we want.

We think that by resisting negativity, we will be freed from it. But it's not. In many cases, we get the freedom to create what we want only after we have stopped resisting.
By resisting our desires, we only add fuel to the fire. So we're only making the situation worse. If we resist what is undesirable for us, then we completely concentrate on it; we act on the assumption that external circumstances will prevent us from getting what we want.

Let's look at a few examples.

If at work we are against communicating with certain people, it certainly turns out that we are forced to deal with them on business all the time. The more we fight some habits of our children, the stronger they become. If we, fearing to get fat, resist the urge to eat dessert, we crave it even more. When we don't want to pay bills, they just seem to flunk us. When we are in a hurry and are afraid to get into a "traffic jam" - you can be sure that we will spend at least half an hour in it.
Because of this resistance, a person denies his inner power to create or attract what he wants. Actively focusing on what we don't want weakens our ability to get what we want. It's hard to be sure that you can make dreams come true if you think only about what you haven't achieved. It is not easy to experience a state of inner happiness, love and peace if you try to look for it outside.
This does not mean that a person should ignore everything that he does not want. But instead of resisting negativity, it can be used. Negative emotions will help you feel what you want and focus on it. The ability to create your own future depends entirely on the attempts to do this and on the life position of a person. Do not resist, but be aware and let go of negative emotions, and then attention will turn to what you want.

Resistance reinforces the belief that we cannot get what we want. We automatically begin to accumulate signs of our own impotence and eventually lose touch with our creative potential. We create what we believe in. The human mind is much more powerful than most people think. 90% of what happens in life is caused by our mental images, and only 10% - by actions.
A person who believes that he can have more, but cannot achieve what he wants, should take a closer look at his experiences. And then he will certainly see that deep down he does not believe in his success. On the contrary, continuing to believe in the desired in the most hopeless situations, a person strengthens his faith and beliefs. When you believe, challenges make you stronger and strengthen your faith.

We create what we believe in.

When a feeling of hopelessness takes precedence over a person's self-confidence, he begins to unnecessarily resist the world. Instead of accepting what he has and working to get what he wants, he spends all his energy resisting the existing situation. When we resist another person or situation, we give desire the wrong direction.
Instead of striving for calmness and cooperation, we want to get rid of something. Instead of trying to complete the project, we spend a huge amount of energy dodging work. Instead of fixing the relationship, we waste mental strength hoping to change the behavior of partners. We focus on what we don't want and think back to times when we didn't get what we wanted. Instead, we should focus on what we want and remember the times we got it.
We resist the behavior of partners, feeling that they do not like them. Instead of demonstrating our friendliness to colleagues, to interest them, we wait until they once again offend or disappoint us. In any case, by resisting the situation, we waste energy and continue to get what we resist, not getting any closer to what we really want.

What we resist will stubbornly return.

You get what you focus on. Unwanted, fueled by your attention, only increases. When you pay attention to something and experience strong negative emotions at the same time, you once again attract to yourself what you resist. What you pay attention to increases in your life
When you resist something, you keep creating it because you believe that it is impossible to get rid of it. The feeling of hopelessness was the source of your resistance, and it will reappear if you believe that you cannot get what you want.

By resisting, you reinforce the belief that you cannot get what you want.

Imagine that you know: a check for a million dollars is due in the mail in your name. In this case, you would not resist paying any bills and would not be afraid to sign them. You wouldn't want the bills to disappear. Assuming that you have enough money, you would not resist the need to spend it.
Imagine that your partner is sick, but you know for sure that he will recover soon. Will you, having such information, drop all your affairs and begin to personally care for him? You are not afraid that he will feel abandoned, you do not resist the disease and do not consider that this is a heavy burden.
Your resistance fades because you are sure that you will get what you want. Your confidence that everything will be fine will keep you from falling into the trap of resistance. With this understanding, it will become clear that in order to succeed, we need to give up the idea of resisting anything. The next step is gaining the confidence to get what you want.

Nothing strengthens her like the first success.

Achieving success is like a snowball rolling down a mountain. The longer it rolls, the bigger it gets. Likewise, achieving even a small amount of success strengthens your faith. Following him comes a new, more impressive luck. It will give you even more confidence.
Along with it, your next success will increase. Now you believe in yourself, filled with enthusiasm. You just radiate positive energy and confidence! Once having gained speed, a person often continues to roll by inertia. Nothing contributes to success like success.
Once you understand this, you can understand why it is so important to define your desires every day. If you made a wish and it came true, you will feel a surge of strength from the knowledge that you are able to attract what you want into your life. However, small miracles will never happen again if you stop feeling appreciation for them. Nothing contributes to success like success. To achieve personal success, we need to feel and act in accordance with our true desires. Unfortunately, most of our daily aspirations come from the very habit of resistance. Such desires are not true. Instead of attracting what you really want into your life, false desires rob you of energy and reinforce the belief that you are powerless to get what you want.
By focusing on the unwanted, you reinforce your belief that you are unable to get what you want.
Let's say you're stuck in a traffic jam. If you are in a hurry, you want the car to move as fast as possible. By resisting the traffic situation, you focus on what you don't want and thereby reinforce your inability to get what you want. Most likely, you will intuitively prefer the lane in which the cars move the slowest. And even if you taxi to not the worst, you will think that it is the worst of all.
Why (for example, in a supermarket) is the last package of the desired product always taken from you in front of your nose? Why, when you are in a hurry and worried, do you get in a line that barely moves? This is not an accident. There is clearly a pattern here. In a hurry, being in an unbalanced state, you will choose the slowest queue. If we are in a hurry, then in the supermarket we stand in line, which moves more slowly than all the others. If you are not in alignment with your inner center, you will unconsciously (“intuitively”) choose the wrong path. By resisting circumstances, we only exacerbate the situation. By focusing on not wanting to wait, we will be forced to wait longer.

Why does the past repeat itself

The above is another reason why it is so important to heal old wounds. If you have experienced painful experiences in the past (for example, in business or personal relationships), then you will strive to avoid them again. Resisting suffering can bring it on again. However, if you have not been offended before, you will not think much about the offense, but will naturally focus on what you want. That is what will be attracted into your life.
Resistance to painful experiences creates the possibility of re-experiencing them.
It is very difficult not to resist the bad things that happen. Once a disaster has happened, we naturally do not want it to happen again. But by focusing on this unwillingness, we re-attract suffering to a certain extent. The more fully we have healed our past, the less we will be disturbed by the shadows of the past. Until we get rid of the pain associated with past events, some of their negative aspects will repeat and annoy us.

For example, if we passionately do not want to be alone, that is what we will get. If we don't want to be rejected and ignored, that's exactly what will happen. If we are horrified by the possibility of losing something, it will be lost. If we are oppressed by the thought of an unloved job, it will remain a source of trouble. If we simply cannot work with a certain person, we will have to deal with him all the time.
The more we do not want something, the more it is attracted to our lives.
By learning to heal past wounds, we allow the old pain to go away, and with it, the subconscious expectation of its repetition. From now on, we will be free to focus more on what we want. Our positive desires will increase to the extent that we have been able to get rid of past grievances.

If you do not let go of your past, it will appear to you again and again. By resisting negative experiences, you will automatically attract situations that will cause unpleasant emotions. Resistance not only prevents you from attracting what you really want, but also dissipates power. It's like a hole in your love tank that won't fill up. Your energy, instead of being consciously used for constructive purposes, flows out of it.
As an experiment, try noting all the negative thoughts and bad feelings you verbalize throughout the day. You will be amazed at how often this happens. But the “voiced” resistance is just the tip of the iceberg.
Negative statements reflect the true essence of resistance. Our true task is to heal the spiritual experiences and sensations caused by it. Start by being aware of what you have said.
Be careful with words. As you gain confidence in building your life, you will see that what you say comes true. The power of your words is limitless. Especially if you express your true desires.

The resistance game

The resistance game can be fun. We sometimes play it with my twelve year old daughter Lauren. One day we go shopping together and just note all the negative statements of each other. Then we try to speak differently.
Here are a few examples of what we said: I said, "There probably isn't a good parking spot here, let's look somewhere else." I should have said, "Let's see if there's a good parking spot nearby." We then drove to where we wanted to park and found a parking spot.
She said, “I hope we don't have to wait long; I have so much homework." Then she corrected herself: “I hope we get through this quickly. I want to have enough time to do my homework.”
When it was time to leave the store, I said, "Your mom won't like it if we're late." Together we redid this phrase: "If we get home quickly, mom will be very happy." Near the house in the car, I said: "Don't forget to take the bag." In a positive version, it sounded: “We will now make sure that everyone has taken it.”

Stop resisting your partner

The same principles apply to interpersonal relationships. Don't focus on your partner's actions and emotions that seem negative to you. Focus on the behavior and reactions of the person that you like. For example, on wanting to hear from him what a wonderful person you are. Think of times when your partner gave you high marks. Feel like this: "I want him to love me and think I'm great." Instead of thinking, "He never helps me with anything." Remember how he once helped you, revive your feelings at that moment in your memory. Then express your desire to experience those emotions again and think, "I want my partner to help me." If we shift the emphasis in this way, ninety percent of the problems will find their solution. By identifying your positive desires, you awaken an inner belief in the possibility of obtaining what you want. When your faith is strong, the desired will begin to happen.
If you make wishes with an affirmative accent, then you contribute to their implementation.
When communicating with people, try to address them in an affirmative way and avoid expressing dissatisfaction, criticizing and demanding. Try to get rid of such expressions as "no", "you must not", "you must", "you never...", "you always...", "why don't you...".
Try - at least as a game - to find a more positive way to express your desires.
Instead of "We never go anywhere," say, "Let's do something different this weekend." Instead of saying “You forgot to take out the trash again,” say something else: “When you last time took out the trash? The bucket was full, so I carried it out myself.” If you are asking for more, don't verbally condemn, don't shame, don't blame. Everything will work out if you use a light tone: as if at the table, ask your partner to serve a butter dish. There is no need to doubt that he will hear you.
If you turn to your partner, believing that he is deaf, then he will not hear you.
If you resist some actions or moods, then at the moment when your partner is in a good mood, briefly and friendly ask him for what you want, and then patiently insist on it. On occasion, ask again, but each time as if you were doing it for the first time. After several requests, the partner will realize that he did not give you what you wanted; at the same time, he will be grateful that you do not shake his nerves. The latter circumstance will allow him to overcome his own negative emotions regarding you. Not only will he not reject you, but he will gain an additional incentive to do something else for you. The same approach applies to all areas of relationships: in the office, at school, and at home.

The power of memory

The memory of good things strengthens your confidence in the same way that negative experiences increase resistance to life. If I really want something to happen, then I remember the happy events of the past. When I decided to write this book and figured out how much time it would take me, I remembered all the cases when I met the deadline with the work. I also recalled the satisfaction with which I had worked before, how wonderfully everything worked out for me. I drew from memory all the positive reviews about my work and gratitude. All this strengthened my faith that I could do this again. And I did!

Absolutely all people want to please others. When a person begins to communicate with someone on a more serious level, he can create a lasting good impression of himself, which may result in a new professional or personal relationship. The ability to attract people to you will open up new opportunities for you in terms of developing connections and contacts. To learn this, you will have to learn proper body language, learn how to speak correctly and begin to develop attractive character traits that will make others feel comfortable in your company.

Steps

Applying body language

Take care of a neat appearance. Pay attention to how you present yourself to other people. Before any upcoming social situation, be sure to comb your hair, shave, and don't forget to wash your face and neck. If you want, you can do light makeup, to create a first impression of yourself, it should be natural. Choose the style of clothing and its colors in accordance with your figure. Don't dress vulgarly, too revealingly or inappropriately for your upcoming event (don't wear a suit to a casual meeting or jeans to a formal event).

Smile. From a smile you yourself will be in good mood, and others will be more willing to make contact with an outwardly friendly and contented person. However, don't start smiling as soon as you see someone. First, pause, look the person in the eye, greet him, and only then give him a warm, sincere smile that reflects in your eyes. This way you will make the person think that your smile is meant for him.

Maintain eye contact. When you make eye contact with someone, it sends a signal to the person that you are open and ready to communicate. If you are interested in someone, periodically look at him, regardless of which one of you is talking. This will demonstrate that you are following the reaction of the interlocutor. During a conversation, maintain eye contact for as long as is comfortable.

Address the body to the interlocutor. People pay attention to how you treat them. When you first meet someone, turn your torso fully towards that person so that you are facing them. This will show him your special attitude.

Don't fuss. Excessive fuss and frequent hand gestures in close proximity to the face can make your interlocutor feel your disinterest in communication or the desire to quickly end the conversation. People may even get the impression that you cannot be trusted. Therefore, gain the trust of the interlocutor by maintaining eye contact, and not by fussing, twitching, wiggling, fidgeting, scratching, or twisting your hair around your finger.

Follow the correct posture. A straight and at the same time comfortable posture can give the impression of confidence. Keep your head high, roll your shoulders back, walk with light steps. Move confidently, and when sitting, keep your back straight. Do not look down at the floor, and do not make your back too stiff or, on the contrary, weakly limp.

Treat everyone you meet like an old friend. Think of a person close and well known to you and transfer his image to a new acquaintance. With this mental trick, you can make the muscles of your face and body relax, becoming a more open and friendly person outwardly. For example, your brow line will soften and a smile will appear naturally. Also, pretending that you enjoy interacting with the person will help you actually enjoy the new company.

Be open, honest and helpful. These qualities are important in any relationship, but are especially useful in a professional setting where sometimes not all information is available. If you don't know something, but you can find it out for someone, let the person know that you will try to help them. This will demonstrate your willingness to take active steps to help.

Try the following phrases: "Do you need something? How can I help? I'll try to find out for you."
Offering help is a great way to win appreciation and goodwill. If you can contribute to the success of another person, then do so. You will be noticed and more drawn to you by those people who will like your proactivity and goodwill.
Don't be afraid to admit your weaknesses. People like those who are willing to admit the need to work on themselves in some moments, as well as those who are not afraid to ask for help when it is needed. Demonstration of conventional human qualities will make you like other people.

Don't skimp on verbal support. Support makes people work harder and achieve more. You are able to have a positive impact on a person with elementary words of support. The simple phrase "I believe in you" can inspire and reassure the interlocutor. In addition, it can increase your attractiveness in his eyes.

Try to talk more. People like those who are not afraid to break the awkward silence that has arisen in a conversation. When there is a pause in communication, everyone tries to imagine what the interlocutor thinks about him, whether he likes communication. If you directly voice your thoughts, you save communication from any speculation, from which it becomes easier for everyone.
End the conversation when you make a good impression of yourself. When you say goodbye, apologize and don't forget to address the person by their first name to leave them with a good impression of communicating with you. The main thing is to make the person want something more, perhaps another conversation, or to become curious to know more about you or what you have said. Before moving on to another activity or conversation with another person, apologize and try to exchange phone numbers or email addresses.

Development of attractive character traits

Cultivate positive emotions, thoughts and conversations. People are drawn to those with whom they feel good. Practice an optimistic outlook on life and share your positivity with those around you.

How to attract the people you need? 10 psychological tricks.

1. The response to kindness, or the Benjamin Franklin effect

The story goes that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win over a man who didn't love him. This man was looking for a rare book that Franklin had. Benjamin found out about this and lent him this rare book, and when it was returned to the owner, Benjamin simply thanked him. As a result, they became best friends.

As Franklin said: “The one to whom you once did good is ready to return you with kindness much greater than yours ...”

2. Ask for more than you want to receive.

This effect is very simple and akin to bargaining in the market. The effect works almost always. You are obliged to overestimate your requirements if a person needs you. At first, you are likely to be rejected. Don't resist, give it time. In 95% of cases, the person interested in you will respond again and offer a little less than you requested, but at the same time, it is guaranteed to be higher than you originally pledged.

3. Imposed desire to help

Reception, very similar to the previous one. In order to awaken in a person an independent desire to help you, ask him once for something that he definitely won’t agree to. Having received a refusal, you have created for yourself a person who considers himself indebted to you. Most likely, he will turn to you on his own more than once with a desire to help, because inside he will have a feeling of guilt.

3. The name of a person as a magical sound

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, says using someone's name in a conversation is an incredibly powerful argument. The name of a person is the most pleasant sound for him. Saying his name in a positive context, you grow significantly in his eyes.

4. Flattery is everywhere

She is everywhere and always. To begin with, it is important to understand that flattery must look natural, otherwise it can do more harm than good.

If you flatter someone who has high self-esteem, then you are more likely to succeed. Such people love themselves and love flattery, while they do not notice it. And those who have low self-esteem see any positive assessments as a dirty trick and deceit.

5. Mirror

If you want someone to like you, copy them. People with this skill are considered chameleons in society, from the outside it is noticeable how they are constantly changing and adapting to each individual. However, this skill must be at least a little developed in order to attract the people you need.

The work of actors-parodists is based on this principle. All celebrities who have been parodied from TV screens are often good friends these actors.

6. Ask for favors from the weary

When someone is tired, he is more receptive to all requests. The reason for this is that a tired person gets tired not only physically, but also mentally. If the boss is tired, then it is easy for him to allow you to finish tomorrow, but you must finish it without fail and with high quality. This will give you some respect in the eyes of the boss. After all, you kept your word.

7. Start asking for small things.

It's simple, ask a little at the beginning, and they will open credit of trust for you. According to this principle, people become dependent on social movements. For example, at first you are asked to support an action against deforestation, you support it, then again and again. A trifle, but you are already ready to give more. Are you ready to support the action against deforestation in distant Tanzania or join the Green Party and make contributions.

8. Don't correct people when they're wrong.

Carnegie also wrote in his famous book that you should not poke your nose at a person's obvious mistake immediately after you find it. If you want to change the point of view of a person, then approach this carefully. Even if you have a loser in front of you who blames anyone but himself for his troubles, you should not shout in your face. Agree with him for the moment and gradually try to change his point of view. Otherwise, you risk becoming enemy number one.

9. Repeat phrases and expressions the right people

This principle is akin to the “chameleon” principle, when a person repeats the person with whom he is interested in communicating with facial expressions and gestures. Words can caress the ear if they are like an echo. It is necessary to pronounce what a person has already said, what he heard inside his head.

10. Head nod

Scientists have found that when people nod while listening to someone, they are more likely to agree with them. They also found that when someone nods in front of him, the person, like a parrot, repeats. Thus, the nod stimulates the listener's agreement. Everything is based on our favorite principle of imitation...

1. Be busy. It is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective.

2. Act like you're already happy and you'll actually be happier.

3. Don't criticize, don't judge, don't complain.

4. If you want to find happiness, stop thinking about gratitude and ingratitude and indulge in the inner joy that self-giving brings.

5. Remember that your interlocutor may be completely wrong. But he doesn't think so. Don't judge him.

6. Know how to take the position of another person and understand what HIM needs, and not you. Whoever manages to do this will have the whole world.

7. If a person tries to use you for his own purposes, cross him out of your acquaintances.

8. If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.

9. Never try to settle scores with your enemies, because by doing so you will do yourself much more harm than they do.

10. Do like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people you don't like.