Communication with any person requires some delicacy, feelings of tact, empathy. But, if in everyday life we ​​only risk hurting someone by accident with our awkward verbal elbow, then in a working environment we can incur all sorts of troubles. A person who is disliked by the boss should probably consider changing companies, because in this one it will be difficult for him to achieve anything unless he manages to correct the situation.

But it is better not to take it to extremes and not spoil relations with the boss. Especially when you consider that this is sometimes done unintentionally, with simple and ordinary phrases, in which, as it seems to us, there is no special meaning, all the more offensive. But now the boss stubbornly wants to see in these phrases an attack on his own authority. So what are these phrases?

1. "I don't get paid for this". Let's start with the obvious. Saying this phrase aloud has only one goal - to express one's own discontent and resentment. Those who think that by doing so they protect their own work time and increase their own authority in the eyes of colleagues - they are deeply mistaken. If you think that your potential in the company is not appreciated and you are being burdened with too much work, then you just need to quit and look for another job.

Why say this phrase, waiting for this particular proposal, but already from the mouth of the boss? He will recommend that you get out of it and go look for a company where you will be paid for drinking coffee. You can ask for a raise, presenting your own workload as an argument. You can ask to unload you, because you do not have time. If you are sure that all this is true, go to the boss's office at the right time and talk about this topic. The utterance of the phrase "I'm not paid for this" is a common provocation of the conflict, which does not carry even a small fraction of constructiveness.

2. "Oh, we seriously went over yesterday". This phrase is usually pronounced with a stupid grin, and the same understanding smile is expected in response. But the chief, instead, frowns. And he can be understood: even if he himself yesterday "treated himself" with friends in a drinking establishment, even if he accurately guessed the reason for your swollen face and the characteristic smell coming from you on Monday morning - he still has the right to be dissatisfied with such behavior of a subordinate. And he wants to see a guilty face and hear timid apologies, and certainly not an employee sticking out his own alcoholism as an excuse for his own carelessness and laxity. Be sure that with each such attempt to arouse sympathy for your own hangover in the eyes of the boss, you lose credibility in his eyes. A person who does not know how to limit himself will not be trusted with serious matters. In general, try not to go on a spree on Sundays - Saturday is already enough to harm the body, why aggravate it?

3. "And who needs it?" Oh how smart you are! Why don't you be honest too? Tell the boss directly in the face: "You are an obnoxious blockhead, distributing completely worthless tasks to me, a valuable employee whose time is worth its weight in gold. You only interfere with the work process, without your stupid orders, I would have turned around to the fullest here." Anyway, that's what the boss hears every time you question his orders with this "harmless" phrase.

4. "It's impossible". "And you're a complete idiot if you don't understand this," that's what this clichéd phrase so often used by employees means. Yes, it often happens that the authorities give out a task that cannot be completed for objective reasons. It remains only to decide what is more important for you: to proudly turn up your nose from the fact that "you were right" or to keep your relationship with your boss at an acceptable level? If the former, then do not forget to document the story so that there is something to tell later to other unemployed at the labor exchange. If it is the latter, then agree with the task as it is. After a short period of time, report to the boss's office and report that you have found an insurmountable obstacle. Of course, no one could have foreseen this, there is no one to blame. But you have an idea how to fix the situation. Do you understand how thin the line is between a promotion and a layoff? It sometimes lies not at all in your professional skills, but in communication skills.

5. "Oooh...". Sighs and sour faces are the last thing he wants to hear and see in response to his own orders. And again: it doesn’t matter who is to blame for the situation, who is right. If you look at our relations with the authorities from above, from a completely objective position of an outside observer, then very often we can find a few sins behind us: the desire to cut off work for ourselves here and there, unwillingness to work, hack, sitting out working time playing solitaire and social networks , delays, missed deadlines - and much more. And we will find that our boss is not so wrong, as it seems to us from his position of "the unfortunate exploited representative of the office proletariat."

Again, this is not so important Who is right and who is wrong. It is much more important who is destined for what fate. Oohing and aahing, constantly thinking about how not to do anything that is not provided for by their contract, employees constantly rude to their boss will remain in their places (or in others, the same) for many more years. So they will walk, and whine, grumble and complain. And those who are looking for the right approach to the authorities (not to be confused with nasty toadying and sycophants - this is, firstly, disgusting, and secondly, it almost never works), very soon they themselves will become bosses, and other people will have to look for an approach - to them . The choice, as always, is yours.

AskMen.com has compiled a list of 10 phrases that are not recommended to be spoken in the presence of an executive. According to the compilers of the rating, it is enough to exclude them from your working vocabulary to do yourself, your boss and your career an invaluable service.

10. "It's Impossible"

This is just one of many similar phrases that signal to the boss that his employee does not show appropriate efforts, and perhaps is completely indifferent to the matter. Therefore, if you have not even thought about how to approach the problem from what angle, you should not immediately abandon the task.

9. “Is that all they can do?”

Words like these can refer to anything from new office phones to meals at a corporate event. However, this phrase signals to the manager that you are disappointed and do not appreciate the efforts made to improve working conditions.

8. "It's not my problem"

Firstly, this phrase still implies the presence of a certain problem, and secondly, either a colleague or the boss himself needs help. Therefore, you should not once again emphasize your isolation from the team, but rather try to help without further ado.

7. “This is not part of my direct responsibilities”

The fact is that a lot of what employees do during the day is not included in job description e.g. chatting with friends or surfing the Internet aimlessly. However, it is difficult to find a person who does not do this. So, if the boss asks for some trifle, you don’t have to immediately declare your rights and obligations.

6. “I have already done everything. Does anyone need this?"

By asking such a question, you thereby question the expediency own work, and this is unpleasant not only for you, but also for the manager. After all, it is no coincidence that he gave you a lot of time to complete the task, but to insure yourself against mistakes.

5. "It's so easy!"

Such a phrase may simply be unpleasant for the leader, and if it is still pronounced with an appropriate condescending tone, then it will certainly cause offense. Even if the employee just wants to show that the task is easy for him to do, the boss will almost certainly translate it as follows: “After all, everything is obvious here. How can you be so dumb?"

4. “I will add you as a friend on Odnoklassniki/VKontakte”

No, it's not worth it! Never. And if you do not understand this, then your manager will surely be disappointed. Such a proposal can put the boss in an awkward position. He may be stupid enough to agree, but it's better for everyone if he refuses. That doesn't mean he can't be easily chatted with at an office party, but social media will not open the door to the subordinate's private life.

3. “I had such a good time last night…”

Perhaps you are just bragging about last night, unaware that your boss already knows why you are not keeping up with your work plan. Such conversations can also lead him to the idea that for an employee there is no boundary between work and personal life, and perhaps he is completely devoid of brakes. Therefore, you should not trust him with responsible projects.

2. "I'm not getting paid enough for this"

In 99% of cases, the employee who said this will make a mistake. This is because this phrase belongs to the most common excuses for work. And the most popular response to it may be: “Then quit and look for another place for your huge untapped potential!”. Saying “I don’t get paid for this” or “I don’t get paid enough for this” can only irritate the boss, and only people who think you are right, like your mother, will be able to understand you.

1. "Oh! .."

A manager perceives a simple sigh of an employee as hidden aggression, which is why the compilers of the rating put him in first place. Sometimes one breath is enough in the presence of a leader, and you can cause a whole flurry of questions and even accusations. Even if you didn't mean anything bad, you'll have to defend yourself. However, we all know that a sigh in itself means irritation and discontent.

23.09.2018 at 18:10 · oksioksi · 750

10 things you shouldn't say to your employees

Every responsible manager periodically looks for ways to increase the productivity of their employees. However, it happens that the boss unwittingly, either because of his character or because of his illiteracy, becomes a strong demotivating factor in relation to his subordinates. And we are not talking about any penalties for poor-quality work provided for by labor legislation. It happens that with some careless words, the manager can significantly reduce the employee's interest in his professional activity, which will ultimately have a negative impact on end result his labor. Consider 10 phrases that every boss should eliminate from his vocabulary.

10. "I don't care about your apologies"

Firstly, if for some reason you have been appointed to a leadership position, then such words as “I don’t care”, “I don’t care”, “it doesn’t concern me” should not be spoken at all in relation to your employees. Such phrases show subordinates that you voluntarily relieve yourself of part of the responsibility assigned to you, and this, in turn, does not play in favor of your authority.

Secondly, if some unforeseen difficulties appear during the work process, this does not mean that the blame for everything should be placed on subordinates. In any situation, it is necessary to give a person the opportunity to explain the reason for their actions, even if they are wrong. Otherwise, the next time your employee makes a mistake, he will feel much less guilty and will try not to correct the situation, but to blame it on someone else.

9. "Figure it out for yourself (herself)"

With this phrase addressed to a subordinate, you sign your incompetence and disinterest in achieving a good result. A far-sighted boss encourages his employees not only to talk about the difficulties that arise, but also to look for ways to solve the problem.

8. "You're lucky you were hired at all"

If you have been hiring employees through roulette or casting lots, then such a statement may be appropriate. However, in most cases, recruitment is based on professional qualities and experience of the candidate. Therefore, while recognizing that you have hired an incompetent person for a responsible position, you simultaneously admit that you are a mediocre and irresponsible organizer.

7. "Your predecessor worked better"

If the same predecessor did not leave his position due to serious illness, death or decree, then a fair question arises: “Why is he still not here?”. Maybe he was tired of the constant reproaches of the tyrant boss and decided to find a place where his professional abilities would be appreciated?

In addition, by creating in the imagination of your subordinate an unattainable image of his predecessor, you completely deprive him of the desire for professional growth, and this is a strong demotivation for effective execution their duties.

6. "You are not able to perform even elementary tasks"

Such a phrase will not teach your subordinate anything. You will only achieve that a person harbors a grudge against you and will look for an opportunity to repay you in kind. There is no need to make enemies for yourself in a team called upon to work with you for the realization of common purpose. And constant insults will eventually lead to laxity and sabotage of the work process. In addition, every good boss should remember that the failures of subordinates are to some extent associated with certain leadership errors.

5. "We've always done it this way"

Your task is not to accustom a new employee to a well-established work algorithm, but to stimulate an increase in the quality of his work. If you, without giving any adequate arguments, except for “we have always done it this way”, forbid the subordinate to look for other (perhaps more effective) ways to solve the tasks, then in this way you will demonstrate to him the limitations of your professional potential. Your credibility will suffer greatly from this.

4. "Be thankful I didn't fire you"

You can demand thanks and a “earthly” bow if you bring a salary home to your subordinate twice a month, without requiring him to fulfill it in return official duties. If, however, it works according to employment contract then he has nothing to thank you for. Remember, you are not a gentleman, and he is not a serf. You are persons connected with each other by mutual obligations, therefore you have not a single reason to demonstrate your superiority.

3. "I don't care what you think about it"

Similar phrase - The best way destroy in the bud any initiative that arises from employees. A boss who preaches this principle of work will ensure that his subordinates, quite likely endowed with abilities and motivated to work effectively, will turn into an inert mass that represents activity.

2. "I knew you couldn't do it"

If he knew, then why ordered? Probably, you are a bad boss, trying to relieve himself of responsibility and hang "all the dogs" on his employees.

This wording is probably one of the most demotivating to work effectively. Remember the proverb, where after the hundredth insult, the person still grunted? Then keep in mind that the efficiency of a notorious employee who does not believe in his professional capabilities tends to zero. And the fault of low collective productivity will be your lack of effective leadership skills.

1. "I watch you all the time"

Such statements will not lead to an increase in labor activity in a subordinate, but rather will cause him to develop a neurosis or a depressive state. While one of the most important missions of management is to create a healthy working atmosphere in the team. Understand that with such tactics you will not achieve anything from a subordinate except flattery and sycophancy. Perhaps your ego will be satisfied, but this will affect the efficiency of the work of employees in an extremely negative way.

How not to behave with the boss, tells Dmitry Voedilov, psychologist, author of books on neurolinguistic programming.

2. Too emotional to explain. When it comes to making a decision, "oohs" are best left out. A surge of emotions turns on the right hemisphere of the brain, and the left, which is responsible for logic, slows down. Emotionality says that a person cannot reason logically.

3. Transfer responsibility for decision making to the manager. Asking: “What should I do?”, - you will cause a response like: “But you are an expert, you think!” If you are afraid of making a mistake, try something else: “I would like to ask you for advice…”

4. All the time annoyingly asking the boss questions like “what is the best way to do it”, “did I understand correctly that ...”, etc. R. The question is, for what such a specialist receives a salary? Avoiding communication with the boss is also bad. You may get the impression that you are not working. Indicate your presence - for example, report on the results of work.

5. Hide your mistakes. The secret, as a rule, becomes clear. Yes, and many bosses have their informants.

6. Make friends. For example, taking an interest in the health of children, offering help on non-work issues. Psychological swings can work. If something goes wrong, the rejection will be stronger than the attachment. As the saying goes: "Bypass us more than all sorrows and master's anger, and master's love."

7. Humbly be silent and endure when the boss screams. 50% of this behavior is to blame for subordinates. As you allow yourself to be treated, so be it. Work is work, but you can not allow the transition to the individual. You need to interrupt the boss and call to order: “Stop! Yes, I'm guilty, but that doesn't give you the right to insult me. Let's talk further within labor law". You can do something unexpected to switch attention. Drop "accidentally" a cup of tea, grab your heart, feigning an attack, drop the handle and slowly pick it up.

8. Talking about a pay raise just because you think it's too low.. Raise this question to general meetings. You agreed to exactly this salary. The increase implies a violation of previously reached agreements - the context is already negative. But, if you have turned a successful deal, you can ask about the premium. If successful deals become periodic, you can ask for a salary increase.

Employees have a different relationship with their boss. Some speak as equals, others are afraid to take the wrong step. Usually you need to talk with your boss every day, so you need to establish contact at the beginning. labor activity. Required condition- Show respect and build relationships based on trust. Be friendly and tolerant. Even with an evil boss, you can find a common language.

Rules of behavior

Good relations with superiors are the key to a comfortable atmosphere in the team and productive work. But each person has his own characteristics, strengths and weaknesses, bad habits. You have to come to terms with this. Changing a bad, capricious boss can be very difficult, but adjusting to his characteristics is much easier.

The first thing to do is draw boundaries. Discuss problems in a calm tone, but if necessary, defend your point of view. You can also voice your dissatisfaction. It’s better to do it face-to-face and in a polite manner. Explain why you are unhappy and suggest ways to improve the situation.

Do not start empty talk about the boss in the team. It is better to direct this energy to improve performance. Try to help your boss achieve work goals. This will help build relationships, gain recognition and improve your position.

Other rules:

1. Problem prediction. Don't be afraid to report bugs and bugs. You can unobtrusively advise how to improve or correct the situation. An experienced and wise chef will appreciate this behavior and thank you for your help. If the attempt was not successful, it is better not to do this a second time.
2. Ask for advice. In difficult situations, when the success or failure of the entire company is at stake, you can confer about working moments. Think over a plan of action and coordinate it with your boss. This will help avoid mistakes.
3. Be sincere. There are bosses who have a negative attitude towards flattery and hypocrisy. Therefore, praising without a reason is a bad decision. It is better to approve his activities when you really see fit.
4. Maintain neutrality. Between the boss and the employee, they act purely business relationship. It is better to talk with superiors only on work topics. It happens that it is better not to make friends with him and not be imposed. The optimal solution is to work for the benefit of the enterprise and do your job with high quality.
5. Do not press on sore points. Instead of criticizing, report on ways to fix the problem. If he's late for an interview, suggest setting your alarm 15 minutes before the meeting. If he forgets about meetings with customers or other important matters remind about it. Think about how else you can help the boss, and do not lose this opportunity.
6. Reward good deeds. Often good, but demanding bosses do not hear warm words addressed to them. Compliment your leadership style, recent success, or other accomplishments. Do it sincerely and from the heart, and not for the purpose of hearing pleasant words in response.

Even if he behaves inappropriately, be professional. Remain calm and behave with dignity. Listen carefully and leave the office.

Five Types of Leaders

In psychology, there are 5 main types of bosses. The main differences between them are the attitude towards employees, personal qualities and behavior model.

"Know-It-All"

It is important for him to feel superior to others. Overly arrogant and overconfident. Decisions are made thoughtlessly. He believes that he knows all the working nuances. His behavior is often the subject of gossip and objections. Unable to endure this, he wants to punish those who spoke badly about him in any way. It's useless to argue with him. Almost every subordinate is considered a bad employee. He will never listen to someone else's opinion, considering it wrong. Instead of an argument, it is necessary to use advice that will emphasize the position of the mentor.

Other actions:

• ask for help with a work problem;
• ask for advice;
• express respect;
• ignore negative feedback, etc.

The main thing is that the leader feels needed. Such actions will help to avoid conflicts and scandals.

"Joker"

They are excellent businessmen. They like to take risks and are not afraid of failure. Any mistake is perceived as a challenge to become better, they do not tolerate competition. Therefore, the presence of an informal leader in the team is perceived acutely and they will try to eliminate them from the workplace in any way. "Jokers" are great bosses for those who like to work in a team. They know how to properly organize work with a focus on results. Don't try to compete. Nothing will work out for you anyway, and the relationship will be forever ruined. The best thing you can do is listen carefully to commands and turn in your work on time. Then conflict situations will not arise.

"Master"

The most common type of leader. Can call late at night business matter or give a heavy task for the weekend. Being a workaholic, he does not know how to rest. The result of the activities of subordinates rarely pleases him, so quarrels happen often. Subordinates are considered property and are often called bad employees.

How to deal with the "owner":

• set boundaries in the first place;
• do not take home work;
• do not stay up late at work;
• don't be afraid to say no.

It is important to defend your interests. If work is not a priority, make it clear. If he calls late at night, it makes sense not to pick up the phone. Show that you welcome the division of the day into work time and rest. At first, the boss may be offended, but later he will cease to be so intrusive towards the employee.

"Doer"

Assignments are loud and specific. Requires immediate implementation. Always positive and energetic. Always has a plan of action, which must be followed. He does not like brave and enterprising workers and often punishes them. It is hard for him to take time off from work early, even if the reason is good. The award is also rare. The only thing correct solution employee - focus on the result. Deliver work on time, constantly improve productivity. Such behavior is a guarantee of good relations.

"Darling"

Most polite and helpful. Has a sense of humor, loves to communicate with subordinates on work and everyday topics. Always maintains morale and cares about each employee. For him, human values ​​are more important than professional qualities.

Rules of behavior:

1. You can offer ideas to improve the work of the team. He will definitely take them into account and try to implement them.
2. It is better to ask about working moments in private.
3. With him, you can not be afraid to talk about a raise or ask for a salary (if there were real successes in your activities).

Praise for success is desirable, but only sincerely. He does not welcome hypocrisy.

Conversation during a fight

It happens that the boss is the initiator of all conflicts. As a result, instead of a favorable atmosphere in the team, the situation is very tense. Then employees feel disgust not only for the leader, but also for work. As a result, productivity is low, the mood is bad and the quality of work leaves much to be desired. Ignoring constant insults or pretending that this is a normal attitude is not worth it. Sit down at the negotiating table and talk calmly. It is advisable to have evidence of the negative impact of the boss with you. It can be emails, voice messages, SMS.

The worst thing a female employee can do during an argument is cry. It is necessary even in conflict situation behave with dignity and not show weakness.

Rules to follow when fighting:

1. Don't stoop to the level of the boss. Yelling back is the worst thing an employee can do. Wait until the boss calms down, and only then express your opinion about the quarrel.
2. Interruption of a conversation. There are people who cannot listen to insults for long. Then it is better to apologize, interrupt the conversation and leave the office. Ask to continue the conversation after the boss calms down and comes to his senses.
3. Focus on the problem. If you are scolded for a problem that you really allowed, you need to listen carefully. Try to ignore aggressive behavior. Think about how you can fix the mistake or ask for advice.

In any quarrel, you need to behave with dignity and not speak in a raised voice. This can only make the situation worse. Excessive emotionality is a sign that a person cannot adequately assess the situation and quickly find a solution. In this case, anger and aggression is a protective tool.

Ways to solve problems

It often happens that an employee tries to explain to the boss that he was wrong or offers to forget about the conflict, but he does not back down. As a result, every day is accompanied by quarrels and scandals. If the boss constantly reproaches and shouts for something, you should think about changing jobs. To tolerate such behavior is disrespectful to oneself. There are hardly career prospects in this workplace. You need to take care of your health, especially mental.

Another correct decision is to move to another department if the work in the company suits you. You need to find out in advance if there are vacancies and talk with employees about their boss. But asking for a transfer to another department or department is worth the head of the entire company. Clearly explain the situation to him and ask for help.

If an employee has been the victim of discrimination by superiors, it is worth contacting the relevant employee protection authorities. There are conflicts that cross the line of the law, and the initiator requires punishment.

Conclusion

Often employees do not know how to behave with the boss. Some begin to be hypocritical, others begin to criticize and discuss his every action with colleagues. But it is important to learn how to build trusting relationships. In a conflict situation, you must behave with dignity. Try to overcome excessive emotionality and discuss everything in a normal environment. If even after several conversations with a showdown, it was not possible to eliminate the misunderstanding, you should think about dismissal. Sometimes this is the only correct solution.