Rex features/Photodom

The other day I came across a funny argument between women who believe that it is necessary to remove excess body hair and women who do not remove this hair. At first, the discussion looked quite friendly, and both sides only slightly bit each other - it would be strange to break into mutual insults when discussing armpit hair. However, very soon, lovers of everything natural went on a hard offensive, drawing an equal sign between epilation and prostitution, as a woman who removes excess hair strives to look better, which means she promotes herself as a sexual product, which means she is a whore! Leaving hair on the body means accepting and respecting oneself as one is ... Here, the word “freedom” began to sound most often. “I like my body, and I don’t see anything disgusting in the fact that I have hair growing under my arms,” wrote one girl. “But it’s unpleasant for me to bump into your hairy armpit when we are riding in the same tram,” another answered her. "Forcing me to shave off my hair, you infringe on my freedom!". “But by making me feel uncomfortable on public transport, you are infringing on my freedom.” As soon as the debate got to the point where the dividing line between the freedom of one and the freedom of the other (everyone heard the phrase “The freedom of one ends where the freedom of the other begins”?), The discussion stalled and stopped, because no one knows the answer.

On the one hand, there are rules created by society. These rules have existed for centuries, not changing much: one way or another, people from ancient times covered their nudity, tried to comply with the canons of beauty, observed hygiene and relieved themselves in specially designated places. On the other hand, society did not stop at this quite understandable and not particularly repulsive set of rules and began to think out a bunch of completely unnecessary laws: from the global “how to live”, “whom to sleep with”, “whom to marry” and, for example, “ when to give birth to children, to completely optional about “shoes to match the handbag” or “opaque flesh-colored tights under the dress.” While most laws can always be rationalized with scientific, religious, or marketing roots (demographic growth, declining birth rates, disease control, patriotism, or the sale of accessories), they will almost always feel oppressive. and zombification, which turns a person into a puppet that is easy to manipulate. Fortunately, in the civilized world, these optional rules are no longer taken very seriously (and thanks to the freedom fighters for this) - people can dress the way they like, live with whom they want, and give birth when they want and from whom they want. They may not even shave their armpits, and the collision of the two freedoms of "shave or not shave", in its most heated state, will not be as traumatic as forced marriage against will or punishment for the "wrong" sexual orientation.

But if only the topic of personal freedom was limited to this! No, she became popular again and played with both old and new faces. “Isn't marital fidelity an infringement of freedom?” some ask. “Do children owe their parents?” others ask. “We did not ask us to give birth and raise. Parents did this of their own free will and, perhaps, out of selfishness, in order to provide themselves with caregivers in their old age. Parents do not remain in debt, and now grandmothers are indignant: “Isn't the tradition of helping children with grandchildren an infringement of freedom? We gave birth to you and raised you, and we owe you nothing more. Let me live for myself!" You listen and the brain explodes: both are right, and others, but somehow it's all not human, or what? Where is the manifestation of freedom, and where is egoism, and how to distinguish one from the other?

Let's dig even deeper and dive into some very complex topics. Suicide - is it selfishness or freedom of choice? Can a person manage own life? Should he look back at his loved ones? What about the state of health? How often do we encounter such a situation: someone close (relative or friend) is the same person who does not give a damn about his health and (or) categorically refuses to visit doctors and be treated. Has the right to? Seems Yes. This is his life and his health. Does this person substitute his loved ones with the fact that, willy-nilly, he puts them before the fact of his illness or death, worsening the quality of life, forcing them to bear expenses or simply experience the pain of bereavement? It turns out that way.

Try to mentally put yourself in different life situations and, most likely, your assessment of "freedom" or "selfishness" will change depending on your personal beliefs. Even the most careful person, who tries to protect his own interests and at the same time not infringe on the interests of others, will sooner or later run into his own insoluble dilemma. For example, for me this question arose with an edge at the moment when I gave birth to a child from a man who loves everything extreme. As soon as I broke into prohibitions: “By riding a motorcycle, you endanger your life and health, and if something happens to you, I will remain a widow with a small child or a disabled wife,” I realized that I was infringing on his freedom and thought about yourself (and what is this, if not selfishness?). By forcing him to give up what brings him pleasure, I will violate something important in him and, perhaps, the person whom I get at the exit will turn out to be completely different from the one I loved. On the other hand, taking the risk, he exposes both me and the child - after all, if trouble happens, then we will have to deal with the consequences, and if we put the family on one scale and passion on the other, then what, in your opinion, will turn out to be more important? I still haven’t found the answer, which is correct: he still drives, but I’m still afraid.

When you are a young mother, without the opportunity to hire assistants, you will be extremely saddened by the unwillingness of grandmothers to help with the baby. And when you are a grandmother who has finally lived to the point where you can live for yourself, and then grandchildren are slipped on you, you will not be delighted either. A teenager who only hears “you must, must, must” will be outraged by this intrusion into his life. But parents who have done everything for their child will also consider that they have the right to demand the fulfillment of certain obligations.

It is always very easy to be indignant and condemn, although in order to understand, you just need to put yourself in the place of another and, trying to take into account all the factors (age, health and mental state, material security, etc.), try to understand how you feel this person, what does he want to evaluate, whose freedom will suffer more and maybe give up his freedom?

I don’t really believe that it is possible to exist within society under the motto “no one owes me and I owe no one” - it seems that these are just beautiful words, but an unviable formula. The rules that we are trying to fight can turn out to be load-bearing walls (albeit inconvenient, but those inviolable on which the whole structure rests), and invading a system where there are clearly defined obligations to be faithful, to sacrifice our interests for the sake of the family, to support the elderly, to take care of about grandchildren, we get only a feeling of freedom, for which we will have to pay a disproportionately high price. Once realizing that he was left completely alone, no one needed and loved by no one, but owed nothing to anyone, an unfortunate person.

Instruction

Analyze what you like in your life and what you would like to get rid of. Divide the sheet into three parts. In the first, list all the things and activities that bring you pleasure in Everyday life: playing with the dog, viewing old Soviet cartoons, trips to the sea, delicious cinnamon rolls, shopping in the department of technology, etc. In the second part, note those things that make you feel discouraged or anxious that you would gladly get rid of: a boring job, excess weight, or an old car. And in the third part, describe your dreams, what you would like to do in life and what you are striving to get.

Be honest with yourself. You should not indicate in your notes that you dream of moving abroad, just because this is the goal of your family. Listen to your desires. Separate them from imposed opinions from outside and stable stereotypes. Before you begin to live in harmony with yourself, you need to learn to understand and accept your desires.

Save the first part of your analysis. When you feel hard at heart or you feel that your life is wrong, boring and dull, and there is absolutely no time for yourself, read your notes. Set aside everything and spend a little time only on pleasure. Urgent work, obligations, relatives, friends, enemies and colleagues can wait. Immerse yourself in the love of life.

Tear off the second part of the sheet where you described everything that you do not like and throw it away. Fighting your failures and complexes is an empty business. Direct energy to achieve your intentions, and problems will go away on their own. Point by point, write a detailed plan of action on how you will achieve everything you want. Don't tell yourself that your dreams are an unrealizable utopia. If you want to become a famous singer, start by recording in a vocal studio near your home. Dreaming of a round-the-world trip, start with a camping trip with an overnight stay by the nearest river. A great journey starts with a small step. The main thing is to act.

There is no single set of rules by which a person lives. In the world there are religious laws, state and moral, which are recommended to be followed. Violation of some leads to responsibility, while others can be condemned only by the surrounding people. Most of the laws a person learns in childhood, when he learns basic skills.

Instruction

Every religion has its own rules of life. They are dictated by the peculiarities of the faith, the territory where the religion originated, and many other factors. But there are universal principles that exist in all teachings. Not to kill is a commandment found in many faiths. She says that every person is worthy of life, and a person should not decide whether to live or not.

Other rules of life concern relationships between people. If you combine them into one, you get this statement: "Do to people the way you want others to do to you." These words contain honesty, responsibility and love for others.

Each state has its own laws. Both the resident of this territory and visiting guests must respect these rules. Violation of these conditions leads to punishment: from administrative to criminal. Misdemeanors can be anything, even for garbage thrown on the street, you can pay off somewhere with a large fine, drunk driving in some countries can lead to imprisonment, and for stealing, hands are sometimes cut off in the world.

26/07/05, LasMay
I agree with Freya. :) Yes, selfishly. Yes, cruel. Maybe ungrateful. But you don't have to look so superficially. In fact, each of us, EVERYONE lives for himself. Nobody needs Danko's sacrifice anymore. And if you live for your beloved, mother or son, you still live for them, just because YOURS. It is dear to you, and losing them is scary. That is, with the loss you lose something. Again, I repeat that everyone will be responsible for their actions. Personally. One. And laying your life on the altar of another is at least stupidity. Everyone has their own way (how many times I have already said this!) ... Blindly serve others - everyone will ride on your own neck. At my job, I'm now the main scapegoat, because everyone knows that I will not refuse a request. It’s the same in life - how you put yourself, they will treat you - they will enter paradise on someone else’s hump. Cruel? Yes. But true.

26/07/05, like everyone else
This is my life position. I love only myself, I seek profit only for myself, I do good only for myself, and not for others. But it's good that a minority of people think so! If all women thought this way: "why do I need children? Why live for them, if you can live for yourself?", then our planet would be covered with you know what. This position is a bit wrong, it's a sin - all to yourself, to yourself, to yourself ... Well, they brought me up as an egoist! And all this is nonsense, that the more children in the family, the less selfish they are. I have a sister. She is normal, and I am selfish and generally a bastard. Can be one child a good man educate, if you don’t blow in the ass.

26/07/05, witch
... I'm not consciously striving for this, but so far it's the only way. I don’t help anyone except words, I don’t give anything to anyone (and I don’t want anything from anyone), I don’t do charity and altruism. I don’t have children and in the next 8 years I’m unlikely to have any at all. I study and work only for the sake of my future, I have fun - especially only for myself =) It's not good and not bad, it's normal.

26/07/05, Kolya
I personally live only for myself. And I do not need to live for someone, or for someone else. I believe that every person is an individualist, and lives primarily for himself.

27/07/05, Mayflower
Living for yourself is good... And living well is even better! :)) If everyone lived only for themselves, other problems would be less. In general, whatever we do for others, we do for ourselves, if it is sincere. I am not afraid to appear selfish or self-centered, let others pretend to be good, active and compassionate. And I'm sick of them. The road to hell is paved with good intentions...

27/07/05, big cock
Live for yourself, love only yourself - what could be more beautiful, vile little people pay with evil and envy for the slightest good deeds in their direction, so there is no alternative, and altruism is the lot of losers.

27/07/05, Innervate
A person who lives intensively enjoys every minute of being and does not feel a lack of sex. And if he is engaged in it, then from an excess of strength and feelings, for the wine, having filled the glass to the brim, will inevitably overflow, for he obeys the call and call of life, for at this - and only at this moment - he manages to lose power over himself.

27/07/05, girl
I live only for myself. Not at the expense of others. And everyone is fine! Life is one, you need to live it to the maximum and do everything possible for yourself! Let me be good, and others can also try for themselves!

27/07/05, HAMER
Ha, well, certainly not for the motherland to live. I live for myself, and I am this: my family, friends, loved ones. And it's not selfish.

29/07/05, AmberSPB
I thought for a long time where to write, nevertheless I decided to use the green column. It’s wonderful to live only for yourself, you don’t owe anything to anyone, and you don’t need anything from anyone. No responsibility, what difference does it make what happens to me in the next second, I'm alone, and no one cares about me, and I don't care about the opinions of others! But it doesn’t work out that way in life, relationships between people arise in any case, no matter how lone wolf you are, there are always relatives, friends, with growing up there is a need to find a so-called soul mate. All the same, you have to reckon with this, so it turns out that you no longer live only for yourself, there is a desire to share everything that you have with your loved ones. And if there is absolutely no one to share with, a person’s life ends very sadly ...

30/07/05, Schmerz
Life is its own, personal. And if you live someone else's life, then your own will go unlived ... isn't it regrettable? In fact, life is valuable in itself, when it is obtained only "for" or "for the sake of" something - it plays only the role of a means, it is either inability or unwillingness to live (and I'm not saying that it's wrong with me). When we do something for the sake of others, where do we get these others and ideas about the need for something for them? And we chose them ourselves and decided so ourselves - we chose and decided _for ourselves_. We show altruism and make sacrifices for the sake of others (sometimes unnecessary, sometimes embarrassing) when _we ourselves_ want it that way and it's convenient for us. If something of what we have done goes for the benefit of humanity - it will be a side effect of the activity _for ourselves_, and if this happens in our lifetime - we may experience satisfaction, pride ... Since we ourselves like it - activity for the good others, done for yourself. This is good .. otherwise there would be no such activity either from us, or for us

30/07/05, rukilezvija
to live for others means to doom them to taking care of themselves. no one can help you except yourself. so it is with them with outside responsibility. give more evenly.

30/07/05, Schmerz
... And mutual assistance and the like exist only due to the fact that individual elements want to feel needed and useful, that they need someone. In fact, selflessness = this is also an exchange. Exchange of actions, results of actions, services, etc. for one's own satisfaction, peace, and what else... and it is not uncommon - the desire to please other people, to help other people... To see their joy and gratitude and feel - "I did it." So absolutely everything is for yourself, just something at the same time for others. You might think that people create families and give birth to children not for themselves ... After all, this is the realization of their desires, their initiatives. Any initiative of a person is the result of his decision, it was he who needed it for some reason ... and even the thought "I'm not myself, I am for others" - a thought that a person thinks for himself, doing what, according to his understanding, others need ... And excessive self-sacrifice = either lack of will (like this is me, and nothing can be done about it), or choice when a person just likes it.

30/07/05, Schmerz
Even when a person sacrifices his own life - this is his impulse or his maximalism, he needed it so much, it was more convenient than living on without doing this ... Loneliness or collectivism is, again, an indicator that the person himself is more comfortable, or , if the existing state of affairs does not suit him, an indicator of inability to cope with himself and change something, it is his own fault and his own letting life take its course, since it is more convenient and easier for him in his own way ... Everyone gets what he himself creates for himself, everyone's life consists of this. "better to the whole is better to the parts" - but vice versa too. Each part takes care of itself and of whom it wants (in nature there is a certain attitude towards those who are unable to take care of themselves) - a good whole is obtained. Even animals are capable of mutual assistance, and in general it is also characteristic of people without reminders and morals ... Although, we are worse and more dependent than animals - our instincts are supplanted by traditions and upbringing. Hence the need for the concept that "you cannot live only for yourself."

30/07/05, Lasse
but for whom? I it is the most expensive and favorite that I have. you are uninteresting when you think it makes sense to live for someone. you are not self-realized. and not everyone needs to live for them. I would go crazy if someone lived for me. stupid. Isn't it easier to take care of yourself first? children, wife, parents, of course, it is important, but this is completely different. to live for yourself means to respect your feelings and interests and be able to defend them.

30/07/05, Dina
Because I want to. Although I do not know why I live. Why live people? I think I'll die soon...

31/07/05, unbelieving
Oh yes, it's time. And despite the fact that most of the people I respect write to the right column, I firmly decided to become an egoist and continue to think and take care only of myself. Well, of course, about sister and friends. And the rest - pnh. Rrrrr, as Lasse says. :)

04/08/05, Katya-Katya
And for whom to live, brothers? Some freaks around, who, at the opportunity, will step on your head, crying and sobbing at the same time. But they will come! I myself will do that. Almost 100% sure...

04/08/05, Yamamura Sadako
Freya, LasMay, like everyone else - respect and PPKS! Yes, sooner or later you make the discovery that people are bastards, because no one appreciates any victims, so the most logical and natural thing is to live only for yourself

04/08/05, dark witch
I'm all for living for myself... But I can't do it myself +)) I always help someone, I worry about someone. In vain, probably ... Although people are different, some will not only not sit on their necks, but will also help you. There are few of them, unfortunately... If it were not for the eternal desire to help my neighbor, I would also live for myself...

05/08/05, Frade
Maybe it would be easier to live this way, but the fact is that a person (if there is something human left in him), neither morally nor physically, can exist in this way. This is nature and evolution, gentlemen!

08/08/05, kusik
Because life is given to us only one and we must live it in such a way that later we will not regret anything!

10/08/05, behemoth
How many clever thoughts... Both ideologues and some damn racists entangled themselves for no reason, but how much pathos and piety! Well, we will die out ... and what's next, will you become smarter or happier? Or is it a call to prudence? Live in good health, multiply like cockroaches, who cares. The revolutionary spirit is still in the air. Aspiring intellectuals are lobbying for more happy people in a fundamentally rotten society. And what's the point if at least one person on earth will be unhappy. And so it will always be. Mutual assistance continues as long as the subjects of interaction have a greater degree of dependence on others and on each other. After - stubbornness begins, and nonentities imagine themselves to be gods, climbing the social ladder, and pointing to imaginary equality. The sense of community, conscience and compassion will atrophy. This is our whole essence, laid down at the gene level, and rational measures are not effective here. ->

10/08/05, behemoth
-> Such is the joke, the irony of evolution so to speak. What changes with the advent of intelligence in animals? Nothing! Only the scale. I would rather consider myself a rare egoist with attempts and the hope that there will still be people who deserve my self-sacrifice, than a hypocrite hiding under a veil of nobility and abundance of love - not claiming to lack qualities in me. This does not mean at all that I want to neglect other people's freedoms. I'm just trying to break the web of self-deception, closing the already "blind eyes". I don’t really think about who I live for, although the answer is obvious, but I think about what I live for. But, unfortunately, there are no answers to these questions, just as there is no elementary understanding of them. One can only hope that at least in the future it will be possible to coexist with people who are able to perceive the truth without hiding it behind ambitious prejudices...

So you want to use every minute of life with benefit, not regretting what you have done. The eternal race for imaginary wealth and recognition takes all the strength for true values. How to start living without fencing yourself with periods of time? Why does fate reward those who are willing to work on themselves? How to live in pleasure from tomorrow and not stop at what you started? Down with constant excuses! It is time to be truthful with yourself and put everything in its place. It is enough to read the article, and you will no longer be a victim of circumstances in the wrong hands.

How to start living your life

To miss a real opportunity to live, and not to concentrate on the past or the future - many people make such a mistake. It’s worth thinking for a moment: “Am I living the way I really want to?”. Why has it always been difficult to pay attention to the most important, regardless of the opinions of others? Staying late at work and doing someone's errands, going for a walk with a friend, if he wouldn't be offended - there are a lot of examples! Working for the good of others, and then blaming the whole world for not having time for yourself - this situation is familiar to many. It's important to figure out how to start living for yourself right now!

The opinion of others about successes and failures builds the perception of the world by a person. Then how to take own solutions? No one else can know what he needs, like the person himself. Society leaves its mark on the worldview, but does the person himself really think so? The last word should always remain with the hero, and not the surrounding characters.

How do free people act? They listen (we emphasize this word) to the advice of knowledgeable, experienced people, but they act on their own initiative. If a colleague said that he was late for work and he didn’t have anything for it, you shouldn’t count on chance. When a friend who deals with economics talks about a possible price increase, then you should think about investing. It is important to shield the bad influence of others, and filter only good advice.

Does not strive for imposed beauty

Imposed beauty erases the boundaries of the human principle. Everywhere they talk about what is fashionable, how to get thousands of followers on Instagram, how to become like perfect guy or a girl. It is worth paying attention to natural ways to support yourself: sports, a healthy diet, the absence of permanent nerves.

Focus on moral values

Now every square centimeter of the world is saturated with material values, but it is worth paying attention to moral ones! Living in a big house can seem like hell if the husband is a tyrant or branded clothes do not hide an overly full body.

Buying a ticket is a way to see another country and expand your horizons. Charity is a way to help others, not a whim of the rich and famous! The easier the attitude towards money, the easier it becomes on the soul. Every day you can get up in high spirits if you prioritize the achievement of goals, not earnings!

Do what brings you pleasure

For your pleasure, if the work is an ordeal? Work without vacation, an additional task at one in the morning - where is the logic? We are most productive when we take enough time to rest. A person who has flown in from Turkey will come to work in high spirits and will strive to go on vacation again. For this, he will work hard.

There are so many examples in the world when people change their old job for the one they have long dreamed of. Such employment can bring less money, but give more freedom, which is now especially appreciated! No more strength is in this office? You can find a mobile job! Want to spend more time with your family? Why not find remote work in the Internet!

Don't take everything to heart

How to start living for yourself if there are always smart people who do not recognize your opinion? First, learn not to tell them about your plans. Secondly, without further ado, go according to plan. For everyone, the world is at a different angle. If someone wants to escape from misfortune, then someone is in it up to their ears and does not want to get out. It is important to understand your true feelings and not chase other people's opinions!

People who like to instruct others, who make them feel guilty when it doesn't exist, should be avoided. If a friend constantly talks about the achievements of her boyfriend and does not want to talk about other topics, it is difficult to convince her and there is simply no need! A friend puts pressure on pity and constantly asks to borrow funds - no longer allow yourself to be manipulated!

Focus on your own goals

How to start living for yourself when there is simply no dream or simply no work is being done on it? To live means to fill every day with meaning. Integrity is given to us by goals that should progress, not degrade. Often, parents impose opinions on children, which develops into adulthood. Suffering from studying for the wrong specialty, working in the wrong place, communicating with unpleasant people - this attracts negativity.

If life is filled with heaviness, then it is worth getting rid of imposed desires. Human needs can be divided into "own" and "alien". It is important to ask yourself: “Am I living someone else’s dream or my own?”. As soon as a person is convinced that he is striving for his own goals, but not imposed from the outside, it will become easier to start living.

Find your social circle

The circle of communication is rarely limited to parents and teachers. So you want to tell a secret to an old acquaintance or tell the truth to a friend. The person himself fills his "phone book" with contacts with whom he wants to contact. But it is not always worth considering Alexei a friend, and Irina a friend.

Don't try to hold someone back if things don't work out. Old connections can only pull you to the bottom and interfere with life. Open, positive people attract both similar and negative characters. It is important not to allow yourself to be controlled through other people's interests or seeks to please someone.

Change is the best way to success

Stability - this is what motivates people when they do not want to move forward. There is permanent job and it doesn't matter that she is constantly unnerving! There is a friend who is always lying, but there is a fear of losing her. Why be aware of the loss of precious few years lived in misfortune? How to start living for yourself? Fulfill your purpose! To do this, one must not strive to meet the ideas of others, but strive for self-realization. An office clerk who began to surf and teach it - a person will find use for his inner talent!

You are great for reading this article to the end. Here you learned how to get started by applying elementary tips. Do not think past and future - create your own today, where you are full of energy for change. The world is so beautiful that it is foolish to protect yourself with other people's interests. Good luck in your self-realization on the way to personal happiness!

I have already touched on it, but, in my opinion, it is one of the most inexhaustible, and the truth here can be searched for as long and often as you like (fortunately, in the process of searching, you can learn something and understand something). Many people ask themselves the question, for whom should one live - for themselves or for others? Today I will discuss this topic.

White list

Here is a rough list of what I think should be done solely for yourself, resolutely and ruthlessly discarding any other incentives:

• choose a job, its main activity. This is described in detail in articles about and about.
• create(if there is your activity, you should still like it first of all).
• Change your appearance, name-surname and other attributes of earthly life. Doing this for someone else besides yourself is most of the time stupid and leads to frustration (as well as minimizing the importance of your own opinion). The exception is if you treat your appearance very easily and with experimental enthusiasm, then why not?
• Study. Strictly speaking, in general, you need to change something in yourself only from “for yourself”, otherwise you can get carried away and reshape your subtle soul in someone’s image and likeness or desire. Here you can draw a line: if I have problems with a person, it is in my interest to adjust my perception and behavior (while remembering that it is divided into two and not trying to become better for both). It’s another matter when a partner demands (hints, puts an ultimatum, presses, bargains) that you change this and that in yourself, and no matter how much you comprehend, you come to the conclusion that you just don’t want to change it, but you still do it to keep the person.

  If you decide to become more educated, more sociable, more attractive, more interesting, richer - that's great. If at the same time you are driven by the desire to “please Mikhail”, “prove to colleagues that I am not a fool”, “amaze everyone at the reunion of graduates”, “poke your mother with her nose into a pile of money so that she understands that I am not a loser” - this is what what I call rotten motivation. It not only smells, but at any moment it can collapse like a rotten floor of the second floor - for example, as soon as you realize that Mikhail, colleagues and classmates do not care about your achievements, and your mother will still find a reason to consider you a loser if she wants to .

• Relax. Even if it’s a couple or a family, it’s necessary for you to enjoy it - to act to the detriment of your desires and interests means to take away your own strength, and the future.

Maybe I missed something - add in the comments. :-)

Nobody needs your sacrifices

Surprisingly, people value only those sacrifices that they made themselves, and not those that were made by others for their sake. Do not confuse “appreciate” and “feel guilty” - if, for example, a spouse stays with his wife only out of guilt (“she did so much for me, went out, fashioned, now I will repay her debt”), this is not productive relations. Sacrifice is generally a terrible thing that has the form of a deal: one puts his desires, and half his life, or even all, on a fictional sacrificial altar, and the second is obliged to be grateful for the rest of his life and remember this “debt”.

“Give yourself all”, “live for the sake of children”, “dedicate yourself to humanity” -. Why? Because they are dictated either by the fear of losing respect and the very presence of this person (people) in your life, or by the desire to get away from your life and your own pressing problems in science, social activities, etc. can be unselfish - for example, I want this person to be happy, whether he is with me or not. And if I want him to be happy, but always next to me, and for this I try to bind him with my sacrifices and bestowals - this is unhealthy egoism and a destructive model of relationships.

Everything that you did not do for yourself while you were busy doing for others will not return, will not be rewarded to you and will not be offered in the form of a reciprocal sacrifice, this must be clearly understood. A life lived for others is always kind of lost for you - and what's the point?

Is it possible to live both for yourself and for others?

I want to believe yes. My opinion about the need to do something only for yourself concerns global, significant issues and events in a person's life. At the same time, I understand and recognize the importance of both the ability to compromise, to learn to understand other people, and to help close and random people when you can provide it and really need it. I want to know your opinion dear readers– what does it mean for you to “live for yourself” and what principles do you apply in your life when it comes to “my desires against others”?

Somewhere I saw the idea that you need to live for others, but in such a way that you adequately take care of yourself. The areas indicated in the post just relate to the point of adequate self-care

“Life”, in general, is a very philosophical and global concept. You can discuss this for a very long time. But since we have been given such a chance and such an opportunity as “life”, and, by the way, it has been given to Us, then it’s worth it to live for ourselves, in the common sense of the word. Develop, self-actualize, self-improve, etc. And of course, to get pleasure and happiness from this)) because life is not only the achievement of a goal, it is a process.
Naturally, we must contact other people, because we are all social and live in society. By doing a good deed in relation to others, we also help ourselves, including by creating a positive atmosphere and energy around us. Here the main thing is your attitude and your feelings: not to demand and not to wait for returns, as well as lifelong gratitude.
Life will surely find the means and opportunities to properly thank and reward us)) You never know where you will find, where you will lose.
In any case, personally, I am always guided by the motto: “Everything that is done, everything is for the better”!