Hello! It may seem a little strange to you, but I have a very unusual fate. When I was 18 I met a guy, got pregnant, he left me, married another, divorced (drunk) then I got married husband found another divorced married another (died, and with a third husband there was a wedding, found another not long ago married here now I’m thinking what will happen next, what fate awaits him?About myself: I don’t drink, I don’t go out, calm, homely according to the horoscope cancer.I always tried to create family comfort, save my family, not to enter into a conflict where necessary, just do not injure a person with disputes.My friends and acquaintances call me a black widow.Help me figure out what is the reason?Why men who offend me have a broken fate, and they end up badly.When I gave birth, I remember how my grandmother told me: Everyone who offends you they will never see happiness and peace in their lives, but I did not betray her words of any significance, and only after years I noticed that everything she said came true, and she also called me a little witch. my relatives say that if I am offended that something is happening to them, and quite serious problems. I really need help to figure out what's going on. Why am I alone all my life?

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The question you are asking is very difficult and requires careful consideration and answer. I don’t even know how to put your answer in short so as not to write a whole petition. But I'll try. Black widow is a concept that is more suitable for a general definition, as a popular expression in the common people. Few of those who call you that understand the true deep meaning of this definition. The Black Widow is a program that was brought by a very strong sorcerer or !!! what happens just in the main cases, the Woman directs this program ON HERSELF! Let me explain again in a nutshell. From birth, you have a strong energy. That is, in a state of anger, aggression, resentment, you can very well inflict an energy blow. After your first bad experience, you were most likely so upset that you made a strong message to your ex-husband. Maybe even unconsciously. And here is the most important thing. As a child, you were taught that you are a witch and it will be bad for everyone who offends you. You have already given this to yourself as an attitude, with this attitude you have matured. They accumulated and built up a NEGATIVE charge in themselves. And in your heart you even liked it, again, maybe unconsciously. That you are able to punish all those who have treated you unfairly. Then you grew up, the marriage with your husband did not work out, you, of course, got angry with him, and all your built-up negativity plus the energy that is strong from nature, dark already by that moment, thanks to such an installation about a witch - in a word, you sent an energy blow to your ex-husband . Accordingly, the more a person ALLOWS HIMSELF to grow and mature the negative on his Energy Structure, the darker the Energy becomes. Over time, it begins to attract only negative circumstances and events. Here is the result for you. If you decide to change your life, and not repeat to yourself about the seal of the Black Widow, then you are quite able to restrain your dark energy, preventing the negative from strengthening and increasing. And, of course, you should look for a man who is energetically similar to you. Weaker than you men, which you have had so far, you simply de-energize and they, weakened, will always get into unpleasant situations. You need a strong person, with about the same aura. With him you will have a harmonious union. But nevertheless, I still advise you to develop your willpower and spirit in the future and correct your dark energy. Thus, over time, the negative will go away. and you will begin to attract positive circumstances as well. That is, there are two main recipes for your happy future: 1. An energetically suitable man for you. 2. Control of your Energy and gradual removal of negativity. Restraining yourself from dark thoughts and beliefs. Good luck to you! You will succeed, the main thing is to set a goal!

Good time of the day! There is a certain kind of induced negativity, from which you can completely get rid of. At the expense of the power of the witch in you, you can check. And I also want to say that witches have a strong attraction to themselves, they always have a lot of men, without any love spells, they don’t need it. And your men bear the punishment for insults, at the request of their grandmother. Happy life you have more to come!

You have an overactive imagination, a soft, gentle soul, excessive romanticism, emotionality and dependence on mood. You have to cope with emotional problems, because you tend to start love relationships that are karmically doomed to failure, and at the same time believing that such a union will last forever. But if you treat these failures as a kind of achievement-steps leading to a higher level, then you can avoid severe disappointments. No matter how many failures there are in life, you can always find love and happiness if you make a firm decision and refuse to accept life is less than you really want. You truly have a heart of gold, and you are ready to do everything possible and impossible for your loved ones. But in order for a long-term union with a partner to be successful for you, very serious work on personal relationships is necessary.

Some people quickly find their soul mate, while others continue to look for her all their lives. Why am I lonely? Even self-confident women ask this question. Most often, it occurs when you have spent years trying to build a relationship and eventually got to the point where faith in love disappears. First of all, understand that you will never be alone. After all, the difference between the concept of "being lonely" and "failure in relationships" is huge. The most important thing here is the correct setting. If you ask this question with an open heart and a desire to really understand the reasons for failure, then you will get an answer to it pretty quickly.

Here are three of the most common causes of relationship problems. If you ask “Why am I still alone without a man?”, then you will surely find at least one of them. Just be as honest as possible with yourself. After all, missing a small detail, it will be much more difficult for you to understand the situation as a whole. If you cannot objectively assess yourself, ask a loved one about it. No wonder they say that "from the side you know better."

1. You have some fears about entering into a long-term relationship.

When you enter a relationship, you leave your comfort zone of loneliness and another person enters your life. This means that you will have to give your love not only to yourself, but also to your partner. Decisions will have to be made not only for themselves, but also for him. The ambivalence will prevent you from taking the emotional risks it takes to be close to the person, to love them, and to let them love you. This will keep you from fully immersing yourself in the relationship and will create all sorts of cowardly ways to ruin your relationship. Fear will make you come up with various excuses and excuses for why you didn't meet "that one" person, and you will blame yourself instead of taking responsibility and being happy in the relationship.

2. Instead of looking for happiness, you are busy looking for the right man.

It is up to you whether you will be happy, and only you make decisions that should make you happy. If you tend to find only minuses in everything, you are driven only by pessimism and you always consider the glass as half empty, you are not going to change anything, then you are unlikely to find happiness in a relationship.

First of all, change your goal. Instead of looking for the perfect man, look for the one you'll be happy with. Get out of your head that ideal of a man that you have been drawing for yourself for a long time. Understand that it is not the external component that matters, but the internal. The illusion of the ideal will disappear after a few months of euphoria of the candy-bouquet period. And soon you will begin to see a real person with all his shortcomings.

And here a huge role is played by the perception of a man and a woman by each other. So, if a man perceives a woman as a whole (which is why they so often do not notice such tiny changes as hairstyle, hair color, shape of nails, and so on), then a woman sees a man in separate features. Therefore, if in her dreams she wants to meet with a blond with blue eyes, then the brunette already has no chance, no matter how beautiful inner world he didn't have. Remember: ideals do not exist and your happiness does not depend on the color of your eyes ...

3. You allow your privacy to be violated.

Any relationship you enter into requires some form of boundaries. Whether it's your hairdresser, your doctor, or your mother, there are "rules" that are implicit in the nature of a relationship. You don't have to spend all your free time with your partner. You also have your own affairs that need to be addressed. After all, that's what her personal life is for. You may well go for a walk with friends, visit loved ones or spend time in the gym. Everyone can have their own interests, their hobbies, hobbies. And there is no need to bind a partner to yourself. And at the very beginning of a relationship, it is important to build those very boundaries that you should not go beyond. And in the process of relationships, do not allow to go beyond these boundaries ever.

Most of the time I don't mind being alone. It's actually pretty cool. It is a wonderful feeling of freedom to be absolutely and completely unattached to anyone. But sometimes I don't care. Sometimes it gets very lonely. And today is one of those days, which is why I want to talk about it.

Finding your soul mate and starting a family is such a standard expectation that everyone has as they grow up. And when we don't have it, we feel a kind of emptiness. We are brought up as if everything else in life is secondary. Career, hobby, self-realization. All this comes after marriage and children. And maybe that's how it should be. I don't know. But I know it puts a lot of pressure on meeting people. And it's just awful for people like me who just don't know how to meet and date.

Brief retelling of my love stories:

10 years old: I was loved for two months by my classmate, whom everyone considered handsome.

21 years old: a very drunk man invited me to his birthday party the day after we met. He called me beautiful. It was the first and last time when they told me that.

Well, did everyone understand? Amazing.

It seems to me that there are two possible reasons Why am I alone and always have been.

Option one: I am a terrible monster troll and the mere sight of me physically repels men.

Option two: I have the most terrible character and men cannot stand my presence for more than 5 minutes.

Of these two options, I would like to think that I am alone, because I am a monster troll. I can change it. I can start running in the morning (*crying in emptiness at the very thought*), give up cakes and dumplings (*cry in vain as the sound goes with the wind*), and try to eventually master the art of makeup (*shrug: yes , this is doable*).

But why? Let's say I get in shape and put on makeup, and immediately surround myself with all these mythical male creatures that I've only heard of until now. And what - will I live in fear, afraid that the moment will come when I gain a few pounds or wash off my makeup, and he will stop loving me?

I never wanted to think about the second option. I am the way I am. People don't like me.

There is a unique kind of damage to your confidence when you have been invisible to the opposite sex all your life. When the security guard in the store tells your friend, checking her documents for the age of majority, that the photo does not convey all her beauty, but just silently smiles at you. When guys come to you for advice on how to ask your girlfriend out on a date. When the only people who ask for your phone number are sellers who want to "sell" a discount. Sometimes it even seems to me that I can commit any crime, and they simply won't notice me.

So year after year passes, nothing changes, and you just get used to it. You start joking about how you get cats and how you save a lot of money without having to give someone something for Valentine's Day or various anniversaries, while being sad at the same time. You're sad because you didn't have a young love. There were no sleepless nights when, with every SMS sent, the butterflies in the stomach became more active and eagerly awaited an answer. You didn't have to run away from home to meet him in "your place". You didn't have to be his first girlfriend, the first one he kisses, and feel the awkward excitement that you're so special to him.

You didn't have any of that, and now you're at the age where casual sex is the norm and you still wish someone would just take your hand and kiss you on the cheek.

It seems to you that Life goes on without you, and the more time passes, the less you have an idea of ​​where you should start from. At the best of times, it's just like background noise in your head. At worst, it makes you depressed.

You come to the conclusion that all those “first moments”, which others remember with tenderness, are like a burden for you. You need to either bury the idea that your first kiss will be special and just accept that you are a little different than your friends, or keep hoping that someday someone will appear who will do it all quickly or slowly - as you need.

Or maybe I'm just stubborn. Maybe I'm over complicating things. Everything is possible. I have enough time to think about absolutely everything.

I don't want a fairy tale, I want someone who loves me like this. I'm not going to change myself, just to fit someone. It's not real, because then there will be nothing left of me. I am the way I am. Terrible troll monster and all. If that means I'll be alone until I turn into stardust with my cats, then so be it. I am who I am, and most of the time that's enough.

Due to the fact that people are immersed in everyday turmoil, they rarely have the opportunity to stop at least for a while and think about why we live. In general, is it necessary to do this? Maybe it's better to go with the flow without thinking about anything? After all, it's so much easier. But answering the question "why live?" it becomes much easier for a person to find those landmarks that should be followed. Is it possible to understand why a person lives? Many have been searching for this answer for years.

The strange question "why live"

Why does it appear in our head? Who needs to know why we live? After all, there seems to be no physiological prerequisites for the appearance of such thoughts. We all live there. But no, the obsessive “why do I live” gets into my head every now and then.

As these reflections visit almost every person, then dismissing them would be, at the very least, irresponsible. For some, they become a problem leading to, and sometimes even suicide. So it is vital for these people to find out, otherwise they simply will not want to do it further. But such cases, fortunately, are not so common, but a bad mood or despondency visits people all the time.

Therefore, the answer to the question “why do I live” is able to saturate every day with the missing colors, solve a number of other tasks, including:

• Be the master of your life;
• Become happier and more cheerful;
• Understand what you want, direct efforts in the right direction;
• To begin ;
• Stay young and energetic longer.

Perhaps the list is not complete, but even for the sake of these points it is worth thinking about the question “why to live”.

How to understand why we live

It all depends on the specific situation as well as the person. Sometimes it seems that someone acquires the meaning of his being from birth. For example, he becomes a hereditary doctor, builds a brilliant career, undergoes an internship abroad, and everything is fine with him. But at one "beautiful" moment, he tears everything social connections, goes somewhere in the mountains, becoming a hermit.

Can we hope for his return to life? Or should this step be regarded as a real return to one's natural self? In any case, the answer to the question “why live?” was not obvious to him all previous years.

Yet why do people live? Some - for themselves "beloved", someone - for others. Others choose the meaning of their existence to serve a higher goal, but the majority of people cannot answer the question “why live”. Is it really that important if everything is so good? Probably, in this case - it is not extremely important. It all depends on the emotional state of the person.

If everything suits him, he rejoices every day, does not particularly bother, then it is not critical for him to look for an answer to the question “why live”. Perhaps at the end of his life he will begin introspection, but, most likely, even then it will not bother him much.

Why does a person begin to think about the question “why do I live”?

Since such a condition can occur at any time, it is important to understand the reasons for its occurrence.

• Inconsistency with reality;
• Lack of positive;
• Problems in your personal life or at work;
• Non-perception of a person by society;
• The opinion of other people, their advice, reproaches, instructions.

Let's analyze these cases separately.

1. Why live if reality does not please?

A common cause of depression is when “I want” and “I can” are noticeably different. For example, a girl was taught from childhood that she was a princess. Accordingly, she should not exchange less than for a prince with a white Porsche, but, for some reason, in their village there is no cooler transport than the neighboring LADA "Kalina". Instead of the prince, the local swineherd Vasily. It is clear that the universal question “why do I live” settle in her head.

How to be in a similar situation? There are two options: either I “want” to land to the level of my “I can”, or expand the possibilities. For example, to sell his father's tractor and go to conquer the capital or regional center with modest belongings. Otherwise, depression will not go away, but will only progress.

2. Why live if there is no joy?

Positive emotions are largely due to complex biochemical processes occurring in our body. Hormones of "happiness" are produced when certain stimuli appear. For example, a loved one, a promotion at work or a ticket to a long-awaited resort. The essence of the cause is not so important, the main thing is the response of our body to it.

But in order for hormones to be synthesized, substances are needed from which they will be created. Vitamins, trace elements, proteins, fats, carbohydrates, etc. So, the return to life will directly depend on. Chocolate, bananas, nuts, fruits, greens will help you get moving so that you can start your daily activities with renewed vigor.

3. Why live if the problems are in love or at work?

Probably the most common cause of sad thoughts is associated with failures of a personal or professional plan. In this case, advice suggesting to let go of the situation would be appropriate. Yours will return, and if it does not return, then it was not yours. This is equally true both in relation to the chosen one, and career advancement, a new customer, etc. The more we chase after something, the more it runs away from us. Why does a person live if he was abandoned or fired? Then, that this is just one of the episodes of his life, after which new ones will come, perhaps even better ones.

4. Why live if you are not understood?

The world is so diverse that everyone can find a place in it, regardless of their education, inclinations, preferences and skills. Here it is better to put the question differently. Why does a person live with those who do not perceive him? If someone is not appreciated at work, the girl regularly nags, and friends try to assert themselves at his expense, why are they all needed?

You can get a job in a new place, find yourself another company, wait for the next "Cupid's arrow". In extreme cases, you can go to another city or country. The world is limitless and full of possibilities. Why live where it is not comfortable? The main thing is to understand from whom a person is running, from others or himself?

5. Why live in a way that others do not like?

From childhood, we are surrounded by other people. Each of them with their own opinion and understanding of life. It is worth learning a simple truth - no one owes anything to anyone. We must not conform to others. Even if someone was born in a family of hereditary military men, he is not obliged to join the army if his soul does not lie with her. And, even more so, to graduate from a military academy, etc. Otherwise, after 10 or 20 years, thoughts “why live?” may appear in his head, but it will be difficult to correct the situation.

If you are a desperate bachelor, then we have good news for you, which you will learn about right now. What is the matter, you ask? That you are a lucky son of a bitch, because living together, which seems like such a holiday to you, is not as good as you think. Happy couples are mammoths of the relationship world who are afraid to even think that they made the wrong choice. Opinion polls, which are regularly conducted in the States, only confirm our idea. Of course, we don’t want to drive you into the idea that living well is. We just want to help you relax if you suddenly feel sad about your retreat. Let's help with a word, and you help yourself with a deed.

You are responsible for your happiness

People in a relationship often expect their partner to meet their shared needs. That is, they see themselves as a whole, and not as individuals. In the end, everyone scores on their own own desires and that makes us unhappy. We think for two, not for ourselves. In addition, we relieve ourselves of responsibility for happiness, because there is a person nearby who is also responsible for it.
Loneliness radically changes the attitude towards happiness, because there is no woman for whom you can hide. You think more about your well-being, mental state, work, hobbies, small pleasures. That is, everything that pleases you in life, you choose yourself. No need to think for another person, no need to find "something in common." You just do what makes you happy.

You say: "How can you be happy without a girl?". And we will answer that being happy alone is real. But being happy in a bad relationship is something of a mission impossible category.

You will be more successful at work

There are many factors that influence how you work. If a girl is waiting for you at home, then the last part of the working day is unimportant - you try to do everything in time, score on details, treat work like a pig. And that's half the trouble. When you are constrained by relationships, then mobility is lost. You can't just pick up and quit your old job and drive off to New York somewhere to start your working life over again. If you think that your girlfriend will be happy with your career prospects, then you are simply mistaken. You will also have to rely on her desires, which will tell you: “No, we cannot move - I have a family here.” So your song is sung about how you got a great opportunity to get up, but did not do it, because the girl was too attached to the family.

It is also more profitable for an employer to hire bachelors. The fact is that bachelors are more often late at work, which is why they are promoted faster - you can rely on them even on weekends, because no one is waiting for them at home. Sounds sad, but not for career growth.

You have a strong sense of self-worth

Living alone is a test for the individual, which leads to complete autonomy, psychological and physical independence. Lonely people make strong-willed decisions more often, they are less afraid and more confident in themselves, because they know their worth, they know that they can survive in this monstrously complex world even without a sexual partner. They know how to control aggression, empathize with themselves and find harmony even in the most difficult times. It's hard to do both.

This is at odds with the notion that happiness can only be found in romantic relationships. But imagine a situation where you are not a whole, but a half. If you cut a chicken in half, then it cannot survive - it needs the other half. Loneliness is the opportunity to be this whole. Love is an opportunity to become only a part that is not viable without its other half. How many hung themselves and jumped off bridges because of love? We hope you understand our idea.

You are more likely to keep fit

One survey in the UK found that most married people lose money. They become thicker, slower, weaker. One could chalk it up to age, but survey data also suggests that unmarried or divorced people are much more active.

How does it happen? The obvious explanation is that the loner subconsciously gravitates toward better physical shape in order to attract a potential mate. A married man no longer needs to do this, so he sits on beer, cakes and sandwiches. There is another reason - singles have more time for gym, extreme sports and walking. The only activity with a loved one is sex.

Feelings of loneliness can be avoided

There is no doubt that loneliness can be a dangerous source of stress. Everyone knows about it. However, for some reason, everyone forgets that in long-term romantic relationships, people also feel lonely. And this is the truth of life.

Look. When you are a loner to the fullest, then you invest your time in chatting with girls, building relationships, flirting, whatever. You can never be alone if you make an effort. But what happens if you have a woman but are single? Then you will be locked in a cage that won't let you go. At best, you will find an opportunity to abstract from your problem. At worst, you start to change.

Are you still fast asleep

Let's face it. If you have the slightest sleep disorder, then it will be difficult for you to sleep in the same bed with another person. You will watch TV until late, play on your phone or listen to audiobooks. If you are already doing this, and you have a girlfriend, then know that it's all because of her. Sleepwalking, insomnia, nightmares - these are also the results of your desire not to be a bachelor. There are, of course, exceptions to the rule, and sooner or later everyone finds a way to fall asleep soundly, but the fact remains - one sleeps easier. You can fall apart on the whole bed, wrap yourself in the whole blanket, and no one will push you, push you at night or snore (yes, girls can do it too!).

No household problems

If you don’t have a girlfriend, then there are no domestic obligations, like: “Today you will wash the floor, and tomorrow I will!”. In addition, there will be no schedule for eating, sleeping, waking up, going to the store. Guys who got their halves understand what we are talking about - you always have to adjust to your friend's schedule, and she to your schedule. This is not convenient for anyone. If all this is not there, then life is completely deprived of reasons for stress. You can eat when you want, clean when you want, and generally do everything when it suits you. When you are a loner, then you plan your life yourself - you don’t need to listen to anyone else.

You have more prospects

Think about it: loners are more likely to be in a leadership position in society, they are better at coping with stress, they are more mobile. To go even further, the RAND Corporation, which has studied post-traumatic stress disorder coping in wounded fighters, has found that single people are much better at coping with mental and physical trauma. The fact is that they are initially more resistant to stress. Married and divorced showed the worst result.

Nobody interferes with your friendship

Do you know the eternal story that a good guy had a lot of good friends, and then a strong and independent woman came and took away all his friends from the guy? And the guy stopped being good - he became a dull piece of shit. We are sure that among your former friends there is such a guy. "Exes" because they stopped hanging out with you because of a woman.

But let's be fair. This is not the fault of the beautiful half of humanity. Just objectively, a person has less time for friends when he lives with a girl. People try to connect with their acquaintances, which is why the game called "dating in pairs" begins, which is not at all fun. You voluntarily throw all your single friends out of your life, and then feel sad about it. But when you are alone, you can easily communicate with any people you like. And yes, when you don’t have a permanent girlfriend, then you can have a lot of girlfriends with whom you can not only sleep, but also communicate sincerely. Married people are very constrained in terms of friendship.

You worry less about money

You are a man, and therefore keep the traditional trouble. So, you will be spending a lot of money on relationships - clothes, food, everything. When you live with a girl, even the most independent and strong, you will still pour money into her. Not because she demands it, but because it's in your blood - men give women gifts, pay for them in restaurants, provide for them. Otherwise we cannot. We are pleased with the feeling that a girl can rely on us in financial terms. And it takes a hell of a lot of toll on our personal finances.

But girls are expensive not only because of gifts - these are all trifles. Problems begin when you start to manage the general financial expenses. Yes, money becomes common when you live with one person for a long time. And this means, first of all, that you cannot just go and spend all your savings on a Ferrari. A woman will immediately say: “What the hell is a Ferrari in Severodvinsk, you idiot?!”. And she'll be right, but that truth won't make you happy, but a red Ferrari will.