A strong and independent woman can be a nightmare for a powerful man. Such a woman cannot be indicated her place, not forbidden to go somewhere and not forced to wear a longer skirt. Such a woman herself will prohibit anyone and whatever you want.

It's time for men to start getting used to strong-willed and confident women, because their number is increasing every day. Here are 12 signs that you are lucky to find just such.

1. She never asks your permission.

Her life is out of your control. She decides where to go, when and with whom.

2. She always has her own opinion on everything.

And if it does not coincide with yours, then you will have to work hard to defend your point of view.

3. She doesn't care what others think of her.

Criticism towards her lifestyle, decisions or appearance does not concern her in any way.

4. She doesn't need approval.

She is responsible for her actions and does not need others or even you to approve her.

5. She doesn't back down in the face of adversity.

If this woman wants something, she will go to the end, and nothing will stop her.

6. She doesn't need a man to feel complete.

She has a personal life, but it does not depend on her. The absence of a man will not affect her self-esteem or mood in any way.

7. She knows her worth

This woman never doubted her desirability, so she does not crave someone to pick her up and warm her up.

8. She doesn't stop there.

She is inquisitive and does not get tired of discovering something new and learning something.

9. She is able to stand up for herself.

She knows how to protect herself, and does not allow herself to be offended by anyone.

10. Her self-esteem is high

She knows about her strengths, knows how to present herself, and the fountain of her femininity beats in full force.

11. She is successful in her career

This woman overcomes all difficulties and confidently climbs the career ladder.

Support is when you share the feelings of a person, make it clear that he is not alone in his trouble. Everyone needs it from time to time: people are social creatures, they are focused on living in a group and getting close to their own kind. No one can cope with all the difficulties alone, but in the traditions of our culture even things that have nothing to do with it are called support, such as calls to "get together" and "hold on", lectures, lectures, lamentations, and even intimidation. We figure out how to support others, and how not.

How not to

If a person tells you that they are fine without support and do not need it at all, it is likely that by support they mean precisely these toxic and harmful reactions. Someone who has mostly encountered them when in need of help and acceptance really prefers to keep feelings to themselves and deal with them on their own. What is the difference between toxic reactions and real support? How to support each other competently and correctly? Let's start with the fact that it is not support, but only disguises itself as it.

"Pull yourself together!"

The phrases “Hold on”, “Be strong”, “Be of good cheer” and other calls for stamina are not too good way support. The person who seeks support has exactly the opposite goal. He wants to share the emotional burden with someone and just not “hold on”, but at least relax a little and feel better. The words “hold on” or “be of good courage” translate to him: “Support denied. Decide everything yourself, be strong. Get it together."

“And my neighbor’s cat was bitten by stray dogs”

Even in an extreme situation, lamentations do not help a person in any way. Did someone close to her friend end up in intensive care, stole her wallet, lost her dog? Don't tell her, "What a nightmare!" She already knows that this is really a nightmare. And do not tell her about similar cases that have occurred with your friends. This will not help her in any way, but will only increase the panic. In general, if you want to sympathize, you should not load a person with your emotions. Now he himself needs consolation, and he definitely does not have the resource to calm the interlocutor. Your tears and lamentations in the spirit of “What a horror, what to do now?” will only convince a frightened person that everything is really very bad.

"You're right, he's a fool"

Be careful if you want to join in the anger or displeasure of the interlocutor: inciting negative emotions is more likely to maladjust than help to cope with the situation. And a person who complains about loved ones usually experiences conflicting feelings: those whom he loves did badly to him. Saying: "Yes, your husband is a real selfish!" or “It looks like your sister is not capable of logical thinking at all” - you seem to confirm his worst fears.

Nobody really wants to think that their loved ones are monsters. Even if the situation really requires a sharp negative assessment (in the case of physical or emotional abuse, for example), it is better to present this information in a more balanced way: “You know, it seems to me that such words are pure manipulation”, “Such an act seems dishonest to me towards you”, “It seems to me that what is happening is dangerous for you.”

“I know a wonderful homeopath, he will help!”

Unsolicited advice is also a bad idea. “How often does the child get sick? Listen, I have contacts of an excellent pediatrician, now I'll tell you. You need to harden it, I will send you a link to an article on how to do it.

Practical help is very important, but only if you are asked for it. Imposing it without asking is undesirable. Firstly, it is not a fact that a person who has fallen into a difficult situation is ready for active action right now - perhaps for this he first needs to recover and gather his thoughts. Secondly, it is not known whether he needs the form of assistance that you want to offer. Only the person himself can decide what actions will be right for him: harden the child, consult a trusted doctor, or simply wait out the period of endless childhood colds. By imposing concrete actions on the interlocutor, we put into it the idea of ​​his helplessness: "You yourself are not able to cope with anything, now I will tell you how to act."

"That doesn't happen to me"

Talking down, demonstrating that you are absolutely fine in this area, is a dishonest way of behavior, which is not supportive in any way. For example, in a situation where you say to a person who has been diagnosed with depression: “Wow, how unlucky you are. But I practice a positive way of thinking and try to enjoy every day, and I don’t get depressed, ”there is nothing but the desire to feel better at the expense of an interlocutor who is in a difficult situation.

"You are the one to blame!"

Accusations, “magic kicks” and other means of “folk” psychology are completely unacceptable - this is victimblaming and the exact opposite of support. An example of such a toxic reaction, unfortunately, is often given by parents of children and adolescents: “Did you fail the fourth control? And I told you, you need to sit at the computer less. But you're not listening, you're the smartest of us! I don't know how you're going to correct your grade now."

It is believed that such a reaction helps to get together and act, as well as to realize one's past mistakes and not repeat them again. In fact, the effect will be just the opposite: in a situation of stress, no one is able to analyze mistakes and draw conclusions for the future, and accusations and a harsh manner of speaking only increase the trauma. For a short time, a person can really pull himself together and act, not because the “magic kick” works, but because it is a stress reaction when all feelings are frozen.

But in the long run, this method is very toxic. It carries the message: “Did you have a problem? So you're bad yourself (bad yourself). Don't expect me to help you." In addition to additional stress for the person who has something wrong, “magic kicks” destroy relationships. It is difficult to trust someone who finishes off a lying person.

How to

Support at its core is a message to another person: "I hear you, I understand, I accept your feelings and your difficult situation, and I am ready to be in it with you." You can be with someone in a difficult situation in different ways - it depends on the degree of closeness with the person, and on the situation itself, and also on the strengths, resources and desire to help you have. How to support in this case?

Soberly assess your strengths

A small but sincere support is better than its simulation. Often, complaints are reacted in toxic ways precisely because the interlocutor from whom support is expected does not have the strength or resources for it, but he is afraid to admit it. There is no need to be ashamed: it is perfectly normal not to want or not be able to support someone. Offer only what you can really provide without violence against yourself. Perhaps you are now able to listen to the interlocutor for only five minutes, and no more. Or you can talk for half an hour, but are not ready to provide practical assistance.

If you don't even have the strength to be around a person when they are having difficult feelings, the most honest thing to say about it is: “I'm sorry, please, but I'm very tired right now, on my nerves, completely exhausted. I could talk to you tomorrow if it's convenient for you." It is not a fact that the interlocutor will not be offended by you - but it is better than committing violence against yourself, and then pouring aggression on another.

Listen and share
feelings of another

Verbal support may seem like the easiest way, but actually being around a person who is experiencing strong negative feelings is not easy. We want to emotionally isolate ourselves, “jump out” of an unpleasant topic, and therefore we often return to one of the toxic reactions.

To support a person in a conversation, you just need to be there, share the emotions of the interlocutor and not push him away. Let him talk. Use active listening: nod, agree, ask short clarifying questions. A person who is stressed, distressed or irritated is greatly supported by a simple verbal expression of sympathy. In Russian, the form "I'm sorry" still sounds a little clumsy, but it fits - just like "I sympathize" or "What a pity that this happened to you." You can reflect the feelings of the interlocutor: “This seems to be really unpleasant”, “Sounds very sad”, “I understand why you are so angry with them.” Refrain from giving an assessment of the situation, actions and deeds.

Ask if you need help

Another great way to support is to ask the person directly what they need in this situation: “Can I do something for you? Tell me if there's anything I can do to help you." Perhaps the conversation was enough. Or it turns out that practical help, advice, contacts are needed - this will be completely appropriate if the person asked for it directly.

When you think you are deceiving others, you are only deceiving yourself. Osho.

Sin is when you don't enjoy life. Osho.

The only person on earth we have the power to change is ourselves Osho.

No one has to follow anyone, everyone has to go into their own soul. Osho.

The greatest fear in the world is fear of the opinions of others. The moment you are not afraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar resounds in your heart - the roar of freedom. Osho.

To fall is a part of Life, to rise to one's feet is its Living. Being Alive is a Gift, and being Happy is your CHOICE. Osho.

If you have lied once, then you will be forced to lie a thousand and one times to cover up the first lie. Osho.

Don't run from yourself, you can't be anyone else. Osho.

Before knocking on the right door, a person knocks on thousands of wrong doors. Osho.

In this very moment, you can drop all problems because they are all created by you. Osho.

If you can't say "No", your "Yes" is worthless too. Osho.

Inside every old person there is a young person wondering what happened. Osho.

Stop thinking about how to get love and start giving. By giving, you receive. There is no other way... Osho

Bliss is the only criterion for life. If you do not feel that life is bliss, then know that you are going in the wrong direction. Osho.

Don't expect perfection, and don't ask or demand it. Love ordinary people. There is nothing wrong with ordinary people. Ordinary people- are unusual. Every person is so unique. Respect this uniqueness. Osho.

What difference does it make who is stronger, who is smarter, who is more beautiful, who is richer? After all, in the end, it only matters whether you are a happy person or not? Osho.

Don't take life as a problem, it's a mystery of amazing beauty. Drink from it, it's pure wine! Be full of it! Osho.

The head is always thinking about how to get more; the heart always feels like giving more. Osho.

When you are sick, call a doctor. But most importantly, call those who love you, because there is no medicine more important than love. Osho.

Love is patient, everything else is impatient. Passion is impatient; love is patient. Once you understand that patience means love, you understand everything. Osho.

What's wrong with someone laughing for no reason? Why do you need a reason to laugh? A reason is needed to be unhappy; you don't need a reason to be happy. Osho.

If you can wait forever, you don't have to wait at all. Osho.

People believe in the immortality of the soul, not because they know, but because they are afraid. The more cowardly a person is, the more likely it is that he believes in the immortality of the soul - not because he is religious; he's just a coward. Osho.

Make life around you beautiful. And let every person feel that meeting with you is a gift. Osho.

Just watch why you create a problem. The solution to the problem is at the very beginning, when you first create it - don't create it! You don't have any problems - just understand that.

If you don't change right now, you will never change. No need for endless promises. You either change or you don't, but be honest. Osho.

Any borrowed truth is a lie. Until it is experienced by yourself, it is never true. Osho.

Don't teach others, don't try to change them. It is enough that you change yourself - this will be your message. Osho.

Everything that is experienced can be stepped over; what is suppressed cannot be overcome. Osho.

Until you can say "no", your "yes" will not make any sense. Osho

Only occasionally, very rarely, do you allow someone to enter you. That is what love is. Osho.

If you are calm, the whole world becomes calm for you. It's like a reflection. Everything that you are is fully reflected. Everyone becomes a mirror. Osho.

Reasons are within ourselves, outside are just excuses... Osho

Get out of your head and into your heart. Think less and feel more. Do not get attached to thoughts, immerse yourself in sensations... Then your heart will come to life. Osho

A woman in love with you can inspire you to such heights that you never even dreamed of. And she asks for nothing in return. She just needs love. And this is her natural right. Osho.

Faschizophrenia Sysoev Gennady Borisovich

Telelozh does not need refutation - it refutes itself

Maybe that's why the Ukrainian TV channels showed this manifestation so modestly, but in fact - almost nothing. Because it painfully contradicts what we see with our own eyes - those tales about the struggle of "drunkards" with the Nazis, which occupy an impressive place on modern UkrTV.

The Jewish community of Ukraine was outraged. The fact that “On October 14, a rally was held in the center of Kyiv on the occasion of the 65th anniversary of the creation of the Ukrainian Insurgent Army. In reality, this event bore all the features of a pro-fascist manifestation.

The demonstrators, in addition to the well-known and widely advertised slogans about the rehabilitation of the UPA organization, chanted Nazi slogans, marched with Nazi greetings and used stylized symbols of fascist times. The Ukrainian capital - the heart of the country - was filled with people who were armed with clubs, and some even German Schmeisser, with the complete inaction and connivance of the authorities" (42) .

Among the signatories of the letter is Oleksandr Feldman, People's Deputy of Ukraine (on the list of the Yulia Tymoshenko Bloc). Interesting, right?

As the head of the Jewish Fund, A. Feldman, protests, how will he, as a people's deputy of the BYuT faction, vote when the oranges put forward another draft revision of the history and rehabilitation of the Nazis?

Maybe Feldman is so naive that he does not see the connection between the decrees on the glorification of the UPA and its leaders and the Nazi coven in Kyiv?

But it is Feldman himself who writes, more precisely, he signs the following words: “The demonstrators, in addition to the well-known and widely advertised slogans about the rehabilitation of the UPA organization, chanted Nazi slogans" (emphasis mine. - G.S.).

So he known that these slogans in Ukraine widely advertised, and we believe it is even known by whom are advertised.

But the Timoshenko bloc is practically no different from the Yushchenko bloc in terms of the rehabilitation of Ukrainian collaborators who collaborated with the Nazis. BYuT is not in favor of the rehabilitation of Ukrainian Nazism, because this dirty work (and canceling out electoral hopes in the south and east) is being done by the NUNS. But the speeches of Yulia Vladimirovna herself - on how to "contain Russia", for example - fit perfectly into this picture - it is enough just to impose a few additional brown strokes.

And probably, A. Shkil and L. Lukyanenko, who in Ukrainian society are by no means associated with anti-fascists, know and understand their leader than the "naive" Feldman.

Among the signatories Open letter"- another People's Deputy of Ukraine (on the list of the Party of Regions) Yan Tabachnik. His party always opposes the rehabilitation of Nazism. But ... it appears somehow strange. During the pre-election period - loudly, after the elections - in an undertone, if not in a whisper. A respected artist could advise members of the same party to disperse the volume evenly over the entire regional soundtrack, so that it would not be deafening before the elections, and after the elections it could be heard.

Consistently against the revival of Nazism in Ukraine, only communists and progressive socialists N. Vitrenko come out. Deputies from the Party of Regions in the Lugansk Regional Council were also consistent this time, who adopted an appeal regarding the neo-old Nazi demonstration that took place in Kyiv (perhaps, given the composition of the participants, it is most correct to call it). Also, of course, a number of veteran organizations were outraged, whose voice in the “free” Ukrainian media after the “orange revolution” is traditionally almost inaudible.