A self-confident person delights, inspires, and also inspires confidence in others. He is able to face his fears and is not afraid to take risks.

He knows that regardless of the scale of the obstacles that arise in his way, there will certainly be an opportunity to overcome them.

Confident people tend to see life in a favorable light, even when things go horribly wrong. At such moments, they continue to remain positively charged and have respect for themselves.

On the other hand, people with low self-esteem and lack of confidence perceive the world as a hostile place and themselves as a victim.

As a result, being in the role of passive observers, they are reluctant to show their abilities and do not open up from the best side, as a result of which they miss the opening opportunities and drive themselves into a state of their own impotence to change the situation.

All this further reduces their self-esteem and self-confidence, dragging them into an enchanted downward spiral.

Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, although they are closely related.

Self-confidence is a concept that is used to characterize your attitude towards your ability to perform various functions, tasks and roles.

Confident behavior is not about not making mistakes, because they are inevitable, especially if you are doing something new.

Confidence is manifested in self-control and the commission of purposeful meaningful actions when various kinds of errors occur, allowing you to solve problems and.

Lack of confidence can be the result of many factors:

1. Fear of the unknown.
2. Criticism.
3. dissatisfaction with their appearance.
4. Unpreparedness for the situation.
5. Lack of required skills.
6. Previous failures.

Self-confidence, like self-esteem, is not a static concept, and therefore its level can both rise and fall. We may feel more confident at some points in our lives than at others.

The level of confidence can manifest itself in many ways: through your behavior, your body language, what and how you say, etc.

Self-esteem- this is your attitude to yourself, to your personality, to how you look, what you think, as well as to your own beliefs and achievements. This is the final result of the quality of your life at a particular moment in time, which your body gives out in the form of an appropriate emotion.

People with low self-esteem are also the most likely to suffer from a lack of confidence, but some people with good self-esteem may similarly lack confidence.

The reverse situation is also quite likely, when a person with low self-esteem can be very confident in some areas.

Possible reasons for low self-esteem:

1. Disdainful attitude and negative environment.
2. Childhood experiences and lack of parental care.
3. Job loss or difficulty finding employment.
4. Constant stress.
5. Physical ailment.
6. , divorce.
7. Physical or sexual abuse.
8. mental problems, .

Signs of confidence and insecurity

Signs of high self-esteem and self-confidence:

• A confident person does what he thinks is right, even if others criticize him for it.
• Willing to take risks and put in the extra effort to achieve better results.
• He is able to admit his mistakes, thanks to which he improves.
• Does not try to spread his achievements to everyone in a row, thus not trying to attract praise.
• Less tendency to be jealous and control the other person.
• No fear of being vulnerable.
• The ability to set personal boundaries.
• The ability to get rid of the superfluous: unnecessary situations, people, work.
• Responsibility for your actions and emotions.

Signs of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence:

• The behavior of an insecure person depends on the opinions of the people around him.
• He is used to staying in his comfort zone, fearing failure and avoiding risk.
• Always tries to hide his mistakes and hopes he can fix the problem before anyone else finds out.
• Communicates his merits and merits as often as possible and to as many people as possible.
• Absence .
• Awareness of being unnecessary or not good enough.
• Inability to make decisions.
• He doesn't like anyone.
• Taking on someone else's fault.
• Failure to recognize your strengths.
• He considers himself undeserving of happiness.

Why is it important to build self-esteem and self-confidence?

With sufficient self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, you will feel great about having a perfect understanding of your ability to do what you want to do to improve the quality of your own life.

You will make decisions more easily, guided only by your inner choice. You will be able to try everything that you previously avoided, and stop letting fear control your destiny.

More Success

Self-confidence and high self-esteem are one of the most important keys to career success and.

You'll be less likely to get stuck on a dead end job because you'll be clear on your value by being able to find a better deal elsewhere.

When it comes to business, only enough self-esteem and self-confidence will allow you to move forward when others give up the fight or twist their fingers to their heads.

Stronger Relationships

It is very difficult to have a harmonious relationship when you constantly feel inferior. You will end up tending to rely too heavily on your partner, who you find more confident.

Once you develop self-confidence and self-esteem, you can be a direct participant in the process of developing relationships without living as an extra, and also fully reveal your personality by investing in relationships and receiving in return for the most part positive emotions.

Life gets easier

When you love and respect yourself, and treat yourself with understanding, everything becomes much easier.

You stop making an elephant out of a fly. Any problem for you is just another task that needs to be solved, or a situation that is not worth your attention.

You stop beating yourself up for your mistakes and trying to live up to any standards.

Improving Mental Health

A negative attitude towards yourself and your abilities poisons your thinking, as a result of which you become prone to anxiety and a tendency to depressive states.

Looking at yourself as a wonderful person will surely give you a positive charge, and will also become a source of a flexible and stable psyche.

More internal stability

When you deeply and sincerely love yourself, when you have a high opinion of yourself, there is no need to seek attention and external confirmation of your worth from other people.

As a result, you cease to be needy, and your inner vision of yourself becomes independent of what the people around you may think or say about you.

Exclusion of internal sabotage

Most people's worst enemy is themselves.

Confidence and high self-esteem will allow you to treat yourself as more worthy of good things, achievements and environment.

You will strive to get everything indicated with much more motivation. And becoming their owner, you will not create obstacles for yourself that can destroy what you have.

More happiness

It is difficult to be happy when self-esteem and self-confidence are at zero. In this case, you will feel sad, incapable of anything and in a hopeless situation, unworthy of love and respect, and also not deserving of a wonderful life.

Once you become confident and able to boost your self-esteem, you will make the necessary changes to find your way out of the labyrinth of past failures by opening the door to the happiness room.

Other benefits:

1. Ability to function more effectively under stress.
2. Developing the ability to influence and persuade others.
3. Development and executive skills.
4. Positive thinking.
5. Increasing attractiveness.
6. Reducing the flow of negative thoughts.
7. More courage and less anxiety.
8. Increased energy and motivation.

How to become self-confident. Basics

In 1952, the journal "Educational Leadership" published an article "Self-Confidence for Competence" by author Bernice Milburn Moore.

Moore describes confidence as a belief in oneself that helps to overcome life events.

He believes that you become more confident if you start to be better at what you do.

Self-confidence without competence is as useless as competence without self-confidence.
Bernice Milburn Moore

This idea can be represented as a system:

1. Improving skills.
2. Putting them into practice.
3. Evaluation of results.
4. Growth in self-confidence.
5. Repetition.

What skills should you develop? It all depends on your goals that you are pursuing at the moment.

However, there are some universal skills that every person should improve:

• Discipline.
  Stop listening to the whiner in your head. Don't listen when he says, "You'll make your bed later," "Sleep for another hour," "You're going to the gym next week."
• Communication.
  Effective communication is an art on which your ability to interact with your environment depends. Therefore, if you think that you are a professional in this field, never before thinking about how you should build communication with people, you are deeply mistaken.
• Negotiation.
  You are negotiating all the time. With my own, with children, parents, teachers, friends, colleagues and many others. So learn to work out the best offer for all parties.
• Problem solving.
  The modern education system, based on getting grades and the concepts of “good” and “bad”, turns young people into cogs that are necessary for the social mechanism. As a result, most people are so accustomed to doing tasks for others that they themselves are not prepared to solve problems in difficult situations. However, the world is changing, and the winner is the one who is better at overcoming completely different problems.
  
• Health and appearance.
  Feeling good, as well as being attractive, is a great way to invest your time and attention. Being in good physical shape and having an attractive appearance, you will definitely be able to increase self-esteem and become more self-confident.

How to become confident and increase self-esteem

1. Know yourself

Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a thousand battles without defeat.
Sun Tzu

Before the start of the battle, a wise commander tries to get to know his enemy as best as possible. And when you're trying to boost your self-esteem and become confident, your worst enemy is standing in your way - yourself.

To get to know yourself better, listen to your thoughts, analyze why they have negative connotations.

Then reflect on the strengths of your personality, your abilities, what you like.

Make two lists, one of which will include your strengths, the second - your weaknesses.

Think about the factors that limit you. Determine if they are truly objective, or if they are just a game of your mind.

Remind yourself that despite your challenges, you are unique, special, and valuable and deserve the very best.

After all, you are a miracle of consciousness, the consciousness of the universe. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts about yourself, such as "I'm a failure" or "Nobody loves me."

It doesn't matter how you feel about yourself right now. What matters is what you want to become. So look as deep as you can into yourself and you will become more confident.

2. Positive thinking

Every human mind loves to whisper, “This is too complicated. Stop and go watch TV.”

Instead of indulging such thoughts, treat them as erroneous phenomena, carefully identifying each of them.

When you catch such a thought, destroy it by replacing it with a positive belief with the opposite meaning: “Keep going, you can do it. There is very little left.”

3. Positive action

You are what you do. So if you change your actions, you can change yourself.

Act in a positive way, talk to people in a positive manner, use your energy, and soon you will notice a difference.

4. Focus on your strengths

If you continue to focus on your shortcomings, sooner or later you will lose much of your self-confidence.

Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths.

Maybe you could be an amazing public speaker, a great cook, or a great businessman.

Take a look at the various areas of your life and perhaps you will see in yourself a person of great value.

5. Body language

Confident people have a different way of non-verbal communication.

They walk with their back straight, keep their heads straight, look into the eyes of others and do not suffer from the presence of unnecessary movements.

Therefore, to increase self-esteem and become self-confident, adopt the body language of confident people.

6. Leisurely speech

It is a fact. Confident people tend to speak slowly.

A person who thinks that they will not want to listen to him will speak quickly, because he considers himself and his speech unworthy of waiting.

Try talking more slowly than usual, which will make you feel more confident.

7. Speak loudly enough

Shy people tend to speak softly or mumble because they don't want to draw attention to themselves.

Confident people are not afraid to be the center of attention, and try to convey information to all listeners with maximum efficiency, so they speak loudly enough, clearly and clearly.

8. Smile

Banality? But it works.

You will feel a surge of confidence when you start smiling at other people. Great investment of your time and energy.

9. Get in the front row

When you attend major events, do you rush to get a front row seat, or are you more likely to proceed to the last seats?

Many people are accustomed to hiding behind the backs of others, so as not to risk being invited to the stage or being in the role of answering a question.

But think about it, who usually sits in the front row at all official meetings of any company? Who takes first place in fashion shows? Of course the most important people.

Once in the front row, you put yourself on the same level with important people. You are signaling to others that you are one of the most important guests and can demand to be treated accordingly. You will also notice that you will start acting like a VIP invitee.

You put yourself in the spotlight by stepping out of your comfort zone, so you have no choice but to become self-confident.

10. Improve your skills

This has already been said before, but it is worth adding that you should start with small steps.

If you want to become a professional writer, for example, don't try to figure out all the ins and outs of the profession all at once. Just start writing and then write more.

11. Set a small goal and achieve it

People want to reach the stars by the end of the month, and when they fail, utter surprise appears on their faces.

Set an achievable goal, and then achieve it, as a result of which you will receive satisfaction. Then set and implement the next goal.

Soon you will prepare yourself to conquer higher peaks.

12. Change some minor habit

To begin with, take a swing not at such a large-scale one as quitting smoking, but something less significant. For example, waking up 10 minutes earlier or drinking a glass of water when you wake up.

Repeat fixing for a month. When the new habit becomes an integral part of your life, you will become more confident and your self-esteem will increase.

13. Focus on problem solving

If you are used to complaining about life, plunging into negative emotions and focusing on problems, just shift your focus.

Focus not on the problem, but on the solution. And this is one of the best ways to become confident and increase self-esteem.

"I'm fat and lazy." How do you solve it? “The thing is, I can't.” And how do you solve it? “But I have no energy.” So what's the solution?

14. Do something you've been putting off for a long time.

What lurks on your to-do list, deciding to hide there forever? Complete this task tomorrow and rid yourself of the memory of it.

You will feel lightness and satisfaction with the result.

15. Be active and try new things

Doing something is almost always better than doing nothing.

Of course, this something can lead to mistakes, but they are just a part of your life.

Only in this way can you learn something new and become a better version of yourself over time, so don't worry.

Just do something. and click on your activity toggle, taking steps to achieve a goal.

16. Focus on the building blocks of a larger whole.

Trying to realize a serious project or a difficult task can seem overwhelming and intimidating, even for the most confident people.

Instead, learn to break complex tasks down into their component parts and implement each one in turn, one after the other.

Achievement will allow you to get a charge of positive emotions, and will bring you closer to the realization of all your plans.

Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you will become the benchmark of confidence.

17. Avoid perfectionism

If you strive for perfection, you risk disappointment. You can always get better, but it's impossible to be perfect.

Stop striving to make everything perfect. Accept the fact that nothing has to be perfect to be considered perfect. Therefore, you do not need to be perfect.

Show more tolerance for your own mistakes and shortcomings, because they do not detract from your talents and strengths of your personality.

18. Use criticism as a learning tool

Everyone looks at the world from their own point of view. What works for one person may not work for another.

Criticism is just someone else's opinion that you can use as feedback.

Treat criticism constructively, without reacting defensively to it or allowing it to affect your self-esteem.

Accept criticism calmly, and once you're satisfied with it, use it as a way to learn and improve.

19. Make your residence clean, comfortable and inviting

Even if you just clean the windows or water the plants, you will feel much better.

Also, clean up your desk. It may seem like something insignificant, but such a simple action can work wonders.

If your desktop begins to sink into confusion and the world around you plunges into chaos, tidying up your desk is a great way to take control of the situation.

As a result, you will feel calm in the center of the storm that has broken out around you.

20. Take care of your appearance

Personal hygiene, fashionable haircut, neat and stylish have always been and will always remain allies of high self-esteem and self-confidence.

21. Sound sleep and healthy eating

Make sure you get enough sleep to get enough sleep and try to eat foods that help your health flourish.

22. Exercise

A healthy body has high self-esteem and self-confidence. Train regularly, despite the possible “I don’t want to” or bad weather.

Physical activity helps to increase mood, internal energy, performance, reduce levels and maintain your body weight at an optimal level.

23. Getting knowledge

By improving your awareness, you become not only intellectually developed, but also more self-confident.

If you are the owner of a higher education, there is no need to put an end to the baggage of your knowledge.

Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, you can find a lot of literature for every taste. Therefore, develop not only the body, but also the mind.

24. Prepare your best

If an important event is coming up in your life, take the time to carefully prepare for it. Once you have done everything you could to be as ready as possible, trust the result.

For example, if you have an important business meeting coming up, or you are applying, think about the possible questions you might be asked that you might want to voice. Only after the preparatory stage go to a meeting or interview.

Plan and manage life situations as much as possible. You will feel confident knowing that you have taken the preparatory steps.

25. Do what you like

Treat yourself to something that you love so much or so passionately desire to do.

Grab a cup of coffee, make yourself some, go skydiving, or sign up for a course that interests you.

Also, don't forget to celebrate your accomplishments, whatever they may be.

26. Develop a positive environment

It's important to build a network of family, friends, colleagues, and other confident people who support you and your efforts.

This does not mean that they will never give constructive feedback, but even this behavior will be based on a sincere desire for your success.

Tell your friends or relatives about your experiences, and ask them for advice and support. Perhaps they have similar problems.

Don't be too shy or reserved: most people close to you really want you well and want to help.

27. Meet other people

When you are at some event surrounded by a large number of people, do not be dependent on the presence of your acquaintances. Go and talk to strangers.

It's no secret that exceptionally self-confident people have the ability to establish acquaintances.

28. Get rid of harmful people, places and habits

Why would you waste your time, energy and emotions on people who will not appreciate it and will not offer anything in return, except for an unpleasant aftertaste resulting from joint communication.

And it's not that they have nothing to take. They simply will not be able to understand you, because they have a completely different level of development, as a rule, a lower one, to which they will try to lower you.

The same goes for the places you can visit, as well as your habits. If they do not contribute to your development, get rid of them like unnecessary trash.

Stop fighting what you don't like in your life. Just eliminate everything superfluous.

29. Stop comparing yourself to other people.

If you compare your appearance and personal qualities with others, the inevitable result will be a loss of self-confidence and a decrease in self-esteem.

Every day you come across the people around you, their photos on social networks and the various statuses of their hectic lives.

You may think that they are doing much better than you, and that they are simply better than you.

One way to boost your self-esteem and gain confidence is to stop comparing and spend less time on social media.

30. Stop trying to impress others.

Stop playing different roles and adjusting to the expectations of the people around you.

If you are able to bring sincerity into your life, you will be surprised how positively others will respond to you.

31. Learn to say “No”

Don't agree just because you don't want conflict or misunderstanding. You may well politely decline requests without even coming up with an excuse.

Saying “Yes” all the time will make you feel useful and needed, but in the end, you will burn yourself to the ground.

To keep your energy at an optimal level, be sure to refrain from wasting time and effort.

If you already have plans, then you have the right to refuse everyone else. You will not only save yourself from many problems, but you will also be able to earn respect.

32. Be grateful for who you are.

Many people complain about themselves, declaring a desire to have missing qualities or skills, while doing nothing to change for the better.

Instead, take the time to be grateful for who you are.

In fact, you have many wonderful qualities, and it is much more effective to focus on improving them.

33. Goodwill

It may sound trite, but being kind has a strong effect on your self-confidence.

If you are always selfish, angry and dissatisfied, you will find that your self-esteem does not rise, but falls.

It is important for you to be kind to others, because this way you will give yourself a boost of positive energy.

Generosity, kindness and compassion are the lot of strong people.

34. Assess your accomplishments

Confidence is dependent on internal awareness of the level of one's own success.

But if you are not seeing success in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low. So how can you believe that you are successful?

No matter where you are right now, you have achieved much more than you think.

You tend to look to the future and constantly compare yourself to the best version you want to become.

You look into the future, where your ideal self has lots of money, a happy family, and a beautiful home. Then you evaluate your current self and feel overwhelmed.

But you rarely look back and forget to compare your current self to who you were a few years ago.

You very often forget how far you have come, how much is behind you, and what has already been achieved so far.

35. Don't Think You Can't Become Confident

There are already many things in your life that you do with natural confidence. You just need to notice them and understand what it's like to be confident.

Think back to brushing your teeth, walking in the park, or talking to a close friend. You do it all confidently and completely naturally.

Transfer the sense of confidence hidden in you to those areas where, as you think, it is lacking.

Where does self-confidence come from? Why do some fearlessly take on any business, even if they know nothing about it, while others do not dare to take responsibility even for what they ate the dog on. It seems to some that self-confidence is an innate quality of character that lucky people are endowed with by the will of fate. And someone considers it the result of great achievements and a long series of victories. In any case, the importance of self-confidence for personal success cannot be denied. As well as the fact that it can be developed through self-realization and the cultivation of positive qualities in oneself. These 7 tips will help maintain or make up for the lack of self-confidence.

1. Don't Worry If Your Confidence Is Fickle

Perhaps, in the context of the topic of the article, this sounds contradictory. Nevertheless, sometimes uncertainty has a beneficial effect on the quality of work. A small amount of doubt can allow you to approach the problem critically, see mistakes and understand what needs to be worked on. Overconfident people are blind to their own shortcomings. Whereas doubts expose them, which leads to a desire to change. In a sense, uncertainty is the engine of development. It stimulates a strict approach to business and hones the quality of its implementation. While self-confidence is an important psychological tool for success, it can sometimes be helpful to express the opposite.

2. Be foresighted

If your car is running out of gas, you don't wait for it to stop driving completely to fill up. Approximately the same principle should be applied in everything else. Solving problems as they come does not always guarantee a good result. Prepare the ground in advance, think over a plan of action in advance - this will only increase your confidence. Don't just waste your free time. Fill it with things to do tomorrow. Foresight is a useful quality, especially in cases where the activity makes you worry and show uncertainty. Prepared means armed. And this principle must be applied on the scale of a lifetime. If you have excellent health in your youth, this does not mean that you do not need to follow it. And the absence of certain needs during this period does not mean that they will not appear with age. Therefore, you should spend more time on self-development and study, especially since then you will not have this time.

3. Be kind to yourself

Everyone makes mistakes, and you are no exception. And sometimes you just think that these are mistakes. One way or another, there are situations after which your self-confidence drops and you experience an oppressive feeling that everything could have ended better. In such situations, the surest thing you can do is to accept the situation and show favor to yourself. This will not only increase self-esteem, but also return motivation and self-control. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal, in her book The Will Instinct, offers the following phrases to help regain self-confidence after failure:

- “I really didn’t do what I should have done in this situation, but having survived it, I became stronger”;
- “It was a shame for me to receive a refusal, but, on the other hand, I know what needs to be worked on in order to avoid this in the future”;
- “It is impossible to remain perfect forever”;
“Don't let anything confuse you. It will pass like everything else."

4. Rethink your relationship with failure

Repeated setbacks or problems lower the level of stress hormones in our body. Therefore, each new challenge is not perceived so critically. Your confidence will be more stable if you change your attitude towards failure and see it as an experience. Change the wording and see the next problem as another chance to improve. Analyzing past mistakes improves productivity and quality of work. It is not necessary to allow them intentionally, but to fall into depression because of them, too.

5. Rate your knowledge higher

Don't underestimate your own knowledge. There can always be a situation in which your life experience will be very useful. This does not always apply to a career, although even there the opportunity to apply your knowledge in practice will cement your self-confidence for a long time. But even in personal relationships, the advice you give can increase your authority and give you self-confidence. If you are asked to recommend a good place to stay, a bar, a restaurant, a store where you can buy good clothes, or what movie to watch, do not hesitate to show your knowledge.

6. Know your strengths

Now try to remember the compliments and positive feedback given to you. Those of them that are repeated, for sure, are your positive qualities. Keep them in mind the next time you take on a case. The indecision we show may be due to a lack of faith in our potential. You can determine it in practice, evaluating the success of your actions and the attitude of others towards them. Do not underestimate your abilities and apply them more often in life.

7. Remember your goals

This is important advice, especially when the urge to retreat arises. By reminding yourself of your goals and motives, you gain more self-confidence. After all, they are the root cause of any act. Often the thought of what you can get if you reach the end can generate tremendous will and perseverance.

It is impossible to develop courage and confidence overnight. If a person asks: how to gain self confidence- it is impossible to give a definite answer.

First you need to understand the root of the problem and only then start working on yourself. There are several effective methods that should be carefully studied. Where to get self-confidence?

How to raise a woman's self-esteem? Learn about it from ours.

What it is?

This is complex concept, including various spectrums of behavioral, intellectual and emotional components.

Confidence in psychology is considered the ability to deal with fears and doubts.

The ability to interact with society, without fear to express one's point of view, beliefs, not to be afraid of criticism.

Specialists also understand certainty as the ability of a person to take responsibility for their behavior and actions. This is a property of the personality, its core is a positive assessment of one's own abilities.

What is a self-confident person like?

Confident people always know what they want to achieve set high goals and achieve them. They are open, self-sufficient, successful. Feel comfortable in society.

They do not try to please someone, they do not care what others think of themselves. Such people are guided by internal guidelines. They don't need outside approval to start something new.

According to psychologists, self-confident people make important decisions easier. They do not weigh themselves down and boldly go forward. The world is being explored. Such people strive to develop and improve. They find plenty of room for growth and are not afraid of change.

Gestures of a confident person:

What are the reasons for the uncertainty?

Uncertainty does not arise suddenly. She is formed over the years. The following factors contribute to its appearance:

1. Children's settings. In the distant past, man often faced failure. As a child, he lost in games, endured bullying peers. Parents could talk about their child's lack of talent. These attitudes led to the formation of fears, unrest,.
2. The importance of the opinions of others. Some people put too high the opinion of society, believing that their own formulations are always wrong. There is a comparison with more intelligent, talented people. It may seem to an individual that he will never reach such heights.
3. Bad experience. If at the very beginning of a career the work was not evaluated in the best way, only mistakes were pointed out to a person, he will consider himself not smart enough, he will see only shortcomings. Work in the future they will be evaluated less qualitatively. He will stop believing in himself.
4. Family. The imposed opinion of close people. If parents, spouse, children point only to the shortcomings of a person, he begins to withdraw into himself, ceases to see positive aspects in himself. He undoubtedly trusts close people, therefore he refuses to believe in their wrongness to the end.
5. Lack of meaning in life. Some people have not studied themselves, they don’t fully know what they like and what they don’t. Their meaning of life is not formed. For this reason, the individual cannot openly express his positions and views. He is tormented by doubts. He didn't know what was really important to him.

Low self-esteem can be born even from minor situations to which a person at first did not attach any importance. Repeated failure only reinforces negative attitudes, which are then difficult to get rid of.

Where do complexes come from?

Complexes do not appear from scratch. They are formed from childhood.

In most cases, parents and grandparents are to blame. Without noticing it, they lay complexes in children's heads.

For example, a child asked to buy a toy, but it turned out to be expensive. Mom could answer: "She's not for you, too expensive."

Constantly facing rejection, hearing the phrases “not for you”, “you didn’t deserve it”, “this won’t suit you” lead to the emergence of negative attitudes.

A person begins to perceive himself only from the bad side. When the child grows up, he will think: "This car is for me", "work is not for me." He will feel worse than he really is.

In addition to native people, interaction with society leads to complexes. If one day someone did not like the hairstyle, or physical data, the person was told this directly and in a rude manner, a negative perception of oneself will appear.

In the future, a person will look for confirmation that he has one or another defect. It will seem to him that he is not as handsome as the others, or not as smart.

Evaluation of others especially when a person depends on someone else's opinion, it affects self-esteem in the worst way. A person withdraws into himself, ceases to notice dignity in himself.

The main causes of complexes are mockery from others, insults, rudeness. Evil words in relation to the individual, ridicule of certain qualities - a direct path to the creation of complexes.

Reasons for low self-esteem and self-doubt in this video:

How to increase self-esteem?

How to develop self-confidence? Do not think that self-esteem can not be changed You will have to endure fears and anxieties all your life.

In fact, also like self-esteem is quite possible.

Psychologists have developed effective methods that really lead to amazing results..

How is a Dembo-Rubinstein self-assessment study conducted? find out right now.

Pills

How to build self-confidence with medication? There are no pills for gaining confidence. Psychologists say that you can not drink medicine and become confident. This is achieved gradually, by studying oneself.

Although there are no pills to give confidence, there are drugs to relieve anxiety and excessive anxiety:

• valerian extract;
• Motherwort Forte;
• Novo-Passit;
• Afobazole;
• Glycine.

They take drugs only after consulting with a specialist, who prescribes the dosage, duration of administration.

Will pills help to feel self-confidence? These drugs help a person become calm, balanced. He is not visited by anxiety and irritability. However, to raise self-esteem, you will have to solve the issue not with the help of pills.

Confidence Building Books

How to believe in yourself? Reading books is one of the best ways to build self-esteem and build self-confidence.

They help a person solve the problem yourself without the help of specialists.

• Tony Buzan "Teach Yourself to Think".
• Anthony Roberts Secrets of Self-Confidence.
• Smith Manuel J.
• Klyuchnikov S.Yu. "The Art of Self-Management".
• Andrew Matthews "Happiness here and now".
• Og Mandino "Choice".
• Vladimir Salamatov "Cure for self-doubt".
• Susan Jeffers "Be afraid, but act!"

It is important not just to read books, but to analyze new information. You should think carefully about everything, write down motivating quotes in a notebook and read them every day. It will also help you become more confident.

Films that raise self-esteem

How to gain self-confidence? Movies will help to cope with internal fears and experiences. It's hard to pick just one. There are a number of films that build self-confidence:

• "Dangerous Minds"
• "Forrest Gump".
• "Good Will Hunting"
• "The Pursuit of Happyness".
• "Peaceful Warrior"
• "The Incredible Life of Walter Mitty".

The main characters of these films anyway encountered difficulties, condemnation of others. They did not stop believing in themselves even in the most difficult moments, thanks to this they came to success.

How to stop being afraid of a fight? you will find on our website.

How to become self-confident? The main component of confidence:

No confidence: what to do in yourself? To overcome complexes, to become self-confident, you need to listen to the advice of a psychologist:

1. You should remember your merits. You need to understand that you can find many positive traits in yourself.
2. Do not listen to pessimists, skeptics who say that nothing will come of it. They cannot know it. A person is capable of much, if he really wants it. No need to depend on someone else's opinion.
3. Stop thinking that others notice only flaws. People around notice a lot of virtues, strive to make friends. Not everyone is critical and negative.
4. We need to get rid of perfectionism. Some people are determined to achieve the ideal, they do everything possible for this, they invest a lot of energy. You should not torture yourself, work excessively to achieve the ideal. He is unattainable. Working on yourself will not hurt for development, but you should not overwork yourself.
5. There is no need to be too humble and reserved. This is sometimes mistaken for pride and arrogance, which makes it difficult to find friends.

If at first it is not possible to achieve the desired result, confidence does not come, it should be portrayed.

When a person will pretend to be confident and bold over time it really will. This is an effective method that has helped many people in practice.

Courage Exercises

It is better to start from this day, set yourself up in a positive way.

Praise yourself for your successes and accomplishments. When looking in the mirror, you should blow a kiss to yourself.

Helps develop courage "Confident Breath". To do this, close your eyes, calm down, sit comfortably.

It should be imagined that the air is saturated with confidence and with each breath a person is filled with it. Breathing can be rhythmic, relaxed, or intense. A person chooses the rhythm of breathing himself. The exercise lasts 3-5 minutes.

An effective exercise in which you need to write down your pluses and achievements on a piece of paper. You need to think carefully, you can write down the answers in the form of a table. This will help you understand yourself better.

Training to learn how to behave and speak confidently

How to remove complexes and love yourself?

For training "Ball" A person will need the help of relatives and friends. You need to stand in a circle, throw the ball to each other, or pass around in a circle, saying compliments. This will help you open up and stop worrying.

Training "Strong-weak". A person is invited to write on a piece of paper the features of a strong and successful person, and then the complete opposite - a weak and unsuccessful one. You can depict these people, their walk, behavior.

Training "Life Attitudes". You should think about your desires, goals. Then, on a piece of paper, write down tips for yourself to achieve them. Every morning a piece of advice is read.

positive attitude

Most successful people optimists.

They smile and are friendly. It is a pleasure to spend time in their company, to communicate with them.

In order to become self-confident and successful, you should accustom yourself to positive perception of reality.

Before going outside in the morning, you should listen to light, cheerful music. You can read jokes. This will help you deal with difficulties more easily. In a gloomy mood, all the problems seem more grandiose than they really are.

It is quite possible to form self-confidence, but this will require the efforts of the person himself. It is necessary to perform special exercises, follow the advice of psychologists, understand yourself. Gradually disappear fears and worries, build confidence in yourself and your abilities.

How to overcome self-doubt? 5 ways to regain your confidence:

Don't lose. Subscribe and receive a link to the article in your email.

There is an opinion that self-confidence is something more than just knowledge and skills. Of course, this is not entirely true, but there is a grain of truth in this thought. A self-confident person finds it easier to get what he wants, while an insecure person is characterized by doubts and procrastination.

Every day, every hour and every minute we decide how we will behave. And if we do not do it consciously, then we will only react to the circumstances and requirements of other people. Confidence is necessary in order to take all possible actions in order to get what you want.

If you don't feel confident, you automatically become insecure. It may seem that calmness and measuredness are what lies between confidence and uncertainty, but in fact they are just part of confidence.

Think of confidence as a kind of desire, on the way to which there is an obstacle - external or internal. Internal may be fear or doubt. External - lack of money or experience. But even in this case, we are still talking, rather, about internal obstacles. You see a goal, but are afraid of the imaginary pain that you imagine, and come up with dozens of reasons why you can’t achieve it.

This article is a guide to confidence for anyone who wants to believe in themselves and get rid of their fears. Or at least start acting without looking back at them.

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Self-esteem is a person's idea of ​​the importance of his personality, evaluating himself and his own feelings and qualities, advantages and disadvantages. There are three levels of self-esteem: low, adequate and high.

With low self-esteem, a person tends to often criticize himself (and even when it is inappropriate), to perceive criticism painfully, to please others in order to increase his self-esteem.

High self-esteem is the opposite of low self-esteem. Often associated with exalting oneself and one's merits, inadequate assessment of one's own significance, etc. Inflated self-esteem, if it is fueled not only by imagination, but also by real qualities and successes, is not always a negative phenomenon. A person with high self-esteem can be both self-confident (which is bad) and driving (which is good). In the latter state, he believes in himself so much that he receives a fair amount of motivation and even good luck, by virtue of which he succeeds in everything, no matter what he undertakes.

Adequate self-esteem is an ideal state for professionals in their field, people who are not outrageous and who know their own worth. With this level of self-esteem, a person can learn from their mistakes, take criticism normally, and gradually move towards success.

Given the above, you need to understand that adequate self-esteem is good, but an appropriately high self-esteem can also be very useful. Miracles happen when there is a balance between the two.

Factors that affect self-confidence

Factors that affect our self-esteem and self-confidence are also internal and external. But since they often intersect and form each other, we will consider them together.

People around

Successful, self-confident people avoid pessimists or those who constantly doubt. They, like no one else, understand that the environment affects how a person thinks. So rule number one: Surround yourself with confident people.

Lack of sleep and malnutrition

It is hard to imagine a self-confident rock man who eats poorly and does not pay attention to his health. You can do self-hypnosis as much as you like, but if the body fails you, then this will also affect.

A person who has not slept well cannot be self-confident for the reason that this requires great willpower. Willpower is an energy that must be replenished through sleep and rest.

Willpower Level

If you have ever struggled with yourself, getting rid of a bad habit or instilling a good one, and lost, then know that 50% of the time it was due to a lack of willpower. It is needed in order to wake up in the morning, asking yourself the question “How confident am I in myself?” and having received the answer “Not at all sure”, you could immediately pull yourself together and start implementing the recommendations (which will be discussed later).

It turns out a vicious circle. You cannot become confident because you are not sure of yourself. Willpower training will help you get out of the vicious circle. You can instantly cheer up, feel faith in your strength, if you really want it. It's like when you lie exhausted on the bed after work, and then you get an invitation to a cool party and the forces instantly appear. The thing is, they never disappeared.

Willpower allows access to inner strength. You just have to want.

Competence/confidence loop

Psychologists have long noticed one interesting pattern. The more one engages in any activity, the more confident one becomes. Two conclusions follow from this: good and not very good. The good news is that confidence will come as you start gaining experience and improving your skills. Not very good in that it will take time.

But in this case, we are talking about the purest self-confidence. The one that becomes second nature to you.

Level of fear and doubt

Take good care of yourself. The next time you feel insecure, listen to exactly how you feel. Most likely, it will be fear or doubt. Therefore, the first step is the ability to recognize them and honestly admit to yourself that you are afraid or doubtful.

Fear and doubt are accompanied by the same thoughts or questions. For example:

• What if they refuse me?
• What if I don't succeed?
• I can not.
• Anything but this.

We are afraid of pain, often far-fetched. Ask yourself other questions, preferably in writing. Analyze why you think the way you do. Is everything really that bad?

Inner voice

What words do you say to yourself immediately after waking up? What words do you say to yourself when you go to bed? What words do you say to yourself when faced with difficulties?

stress and pressure

Failing to deal with stress and pressure can kill confidence. It is important not only to deal with them, but also to notice them in time. If it's hard to notice, then plan ahead for a mini-vacation. You can't go wrong with such things - tension will still arise.

How to increase self-confidence

With all of the above in mind, let's get down to the ways in which it will be possible to develop self-confidence.

get ready. You can rely on impromptu only in unforeseen situations, in everything else you must carefully prepare. The speaker must learn his speech and practice gestures, but at the same time must learn a lot of additional information - just in order to increase the level of competence. A businessman must not only know how to create a company, but also understand the characteristics of the product, marketing, and sales. Confidence comes from preparation and knowing that you know enough.

Use proper body language. Google "Power Pose", go to the pictures section and practice some power poses. If some of them seem too pretentious to you, do the minimum - do not stoop, look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, relax your body.

Pay attention to the voice. When you mumble or speak insecurely, then between you and the interlocutor there is a conversation on an intuitive level: you know that he knows that you are not confident in yourself. Which makes you even more uncomfortable. Don't be loud or quiet, don't chatter, control your voice.

Cultivate optimism and positive thinking. This means that you must develop a certain attitude towards your failures and mistakes. Once failure stops worrying you, half the job is done. Be persistent.

Vicarial teaching. It is observing the achievements of others. This includes both working with successful people, masters of their craft, and reading biographies. Don't skimp on any of these methods. This way you can see how people cope with the difficulties that you also face.

verbal persuasion. Oddly enough, even the banal thought “Come on, you can do it” is much more effective than a train of thought that inspires fear. If you take the time to talk to yourself for at least a few minutes, the effect will be even stronger. At the same time, it is important to understand that such phrases should become a habit, and not be used occasionally.

Boost your emotional intelligence. A confident person will never experience inappropriate situations. He is in complete control of what he feels and does not allow negative and destructive emotions to take him by surprise.

Action, action, action. Pull yourself together and start doing something. It doesn't really matter how valuable these actions are. You can water the plants in the house and feel a huge surge of strength and energy. Have you noticed that when you do nothing, you get even more tired? When we are not confident in ourselves, we cannot get down to business and bring at least something to the end. You need things done, you need to show yourself that you can do it.

Know yourself. Before going into battle, a wise general carefully examines his enemy. You cannot defeat the enemy without knowing him. When it comes to developing self-confidence, your biggest enemy is yourself. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about what you think, analyze the causes of negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, about what you can do better than many people, about what you like. Start reflecting on your limitations and whether they are real. .

Focus on problem solving. If you are a complainer or problem-focused, change your focus. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for confidence.

Clear your workspace. It may seem insignificant, but just do it. Uncertainty comes from confusion, don't add it to your life even on a physical level.

Features of the confidence of men and women

For men, self-confidence is the ability to act, to perform confident and measured actions, to achieve mastery in something. Men are motivated by the achievement of goals, success, it is important for them to measure it concretely.

Women increase self-confidence with the help of self-esteem, as well as an inner worldview. If it is sometimes enough for men to behave confidently and receive a surge of strength through actions and deeds, then for women it all starts from the inside.

A woman will not be able to feel confident in herself if she does not feel comfortable in the situation. Having found peace inside, she is able to believe in herself. At the same time, external factors are of great importance for women, which are then comprehended internally: her appearance, gait, received compliments.

Speaking about self-esteem as the main character of female self-confidence, it is worth saying that it is formed from many factors: addiction, social anxiety, general anxiety, shame, depression, inferiority, helplessness, perfectionism (and its consequences - procrastination).

There are several ways you can improve your self-esteem:

• Change history. We all have a self-image that shapes our self-perception and on which our core image is based. If we want to change it, we must understand where it comes from. Is this our personal opinion? Sometimes automatic negative thoughts such as "you're fat" or "you're lazy" can be repeated in the mind so often that a person begins to believe that they are true, even if they are not. But what do you really want to believe? Repeat this to yourself every day.
• Be aware. We cannot change something until we admit that it needs to be changed. Simply by becoming aware of our negative self-regulation, we begin to distance ourselves from the feelings it evokes. This allows you to identify with them to a lesser extent. But without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap of believing in our limited potential, and as meditation teacher Allan Lokos burns: “Don't believe everything you think. Thoughts are just thoughts."
• Set up a new channel. Albert Einstein once said: “We are all geniuses. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, then it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” We all have strengths and weaknesses. Someone can be a brilliant musician but a terrible cook. No single quality defines your core value. Recognize what your strengths are. Ask yourself: “Have you ever been in a situation in your life where my self-esteem went up? What was/was I doing at that moment?
• Remember that you are not a product of circumstances.. By accepting your imperfection, you create the potential for growth. With this knowledge, one can grow freely and not be afraid of failures that do not change the core value.

What books can you read

To develop self-confidence and make it a personality trait, you need to work hard on yourself. To do this, you need to not only follow these tips every day, but also analyze yourself, do not stop improving, read books on this topic. Here are some of them:

• Dale Carnegie How to Build Self-Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public.
• Robert Anthony "Secrets of Self-Confidence".
• Alice Muir self-confidence. A book to work on yourself.
• Amy Cuddy Presence of Spirit.
• Malcolm Gladwell "David and Goliath"

We can also recommend you videos with Tony Robbins, which you can find on YouTube: pay attention to what he says, how he speaks and how he behaves. Robbins can be a great role model for many who want to be confident.

We wish you good luck!

Last update:  03/24/2020

Reading time: 14 min. | Views: 14262

Many articles, magazines, books on psychology have been written on how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. But still, many novice entrepreneurs (and not only) are concerned about this issue. Therefore, at the request of our website readers, we decided to write this detailed article about self-esteem without water and in fact. So let's go!

The old misconceptions that in order to be happy you need to:

• believe and obey your parents;
• dance around the fire and worship the gods;
• build communism;
• and so on and in the same spirit (underline as appropriate).

With the development of psychological science, only one thing becomes obvious - only man himself can make himself happy except, of course, for force majeure.

So, from this article you will learn:

1. What is self-esteem and what functions does it have, etc.;
2. How to love yourself and increase your self-esteem - advice from psychologists and experts;
3. How to become self-confident and satisfied with your life;
4. Reasons for low self-esteem, tests, videos, etc.

The article tells how to increase self-esteem, what ways to raise it exist, why people have low self-esteem, etc.

The correctness of self-assessment is a rather complicated thing. This is the one ship's waterline on the high seas, which should not nor rise above, nor go below. Before embarking on a long voyage, it is necessary to understand that nothing will come of it without adequate self-esteem. How does this happen?

The human subconscious builds itself based on many factors. from the first minutes of life.

In order to understand the mechanism of self-esteem formation, it is necessary to understand that:

• one is never alone- he is a herd animal and must be in society (sociopaths are a deviation, a disease);
• every word and deed of others in relation to the individual automatically influences it, forcing one way or another to evaluate oneself;
• for the most part people and builds an opinion about himself, perceiving himself "through the eyes of others", not having the opportunity and desire to analyze their actions on their own and give them a final assessment.

As a result, it turns out that self-esteem – This combined information about all self-assessments of your personality or on the basis of another opinion, which forms your idea of ​​\u200b\u200btheir qualities and shortcomings.

This can also be stated in another way: self-esteem – this is the definition of one's place in the ranking of all people in the world, which is based on one's own and imposed priorities. It looks different for every person.

For example, a blonde who has not read the primer in her life may have high self-esteem, since her society tells her only positive information about her personality, her virtues coincide with those that are in use among her environment and she looks like from her society demands it. That is, it is surrounded on all sides positive and a small share negative she just doesn't notice/ignores.

On the other side maybe yesterday's student engineer, who graduated from the university with an average, got a job and, out of fright, already made a couple of minor mistakes, which were treated quite loyally.

It will seem to him that, compared with more experienced colleagues, he is a nonentity, he will never succeed. Here, mom also says that he is a mediocre son, because he forgot to take out the trash in the morning, dad assures that instead of higher education, he just had to go to the mine, because there “normal money is paid, and you don’t need to think with a stupid head.” To all this is added the standard appearance and the dream of the girls from the TV.

All this a typical example of low self-esteem that is shaped by the environment. The young man himself has nothing to do with it - rather, he simply moves with the flow that forms his environment.

Without changing anything in his life, he is unlikely to achieve anything in it.

If you do not pull yourself together, he will face such problems:

• failures at work due to constant nervous tension and self-flagellation from the series “I won’t succeed, others will do it better”;
• lack of career growth due to fear of responsibility, thoughts similar to “I can’t do it, it’s not for me, I’m not capable of it”;
• constant fear of losing a job, a feeling of fatigue, depression, possibly alcoholism, the desire to escape reality into an illusory comfortable world;
• the impossibility of adequate relationships with girls, since stiffness and complexes will manifest themselves here too, there will be thoughts from the series “she is too beautiful, I don’t earn so much, I’m ugly, I don’t deserve her.”

This is not a complete list of those trouble and life problems that are born from poor self-esteem, the inability to work with it.

At an older age, it may be problems with raising children, communicating with them. There may also be significant troubles with self-realization, the desire to open your own business and all in the same spirit.

The young man mentioned is just an example, everyone has a reason to think badly about themselves - no one is perfect. It is important to adequately assess your personality as a whole and build connections with the outside world from this.

It must also be understood that it is not only money and career.

A person with low self-esteem cannot initially be happy for the following reasons:

• constant fear;
• persistent nervous tension;
• periodic depression;
• aggravated stress when exposed to adverse factors;
• impossibility of self-realization;
• constant stiffness, up to physical movements;
• lack of self-righteousness;
• compliance with the outside world, weakness of character;
• inability to start something new;
• closed, shy speech;
• constant self-digging.

All these are signs that you do not have happy future, because no one will come and change your life by magic.

In order to look confidently into the future, you need to work on yourself and not be afraid to change. Without this, everything will remain in place, and dreams will turn into collapse.

Basic functions of self-assessment

Exist three main functions that make adequate self-assessment so necessary:

• Protective - solid self-esteem will allow you to be confident in what you think and do, it ensures the stability of your opinion about yourself, and hence an even emotional background, less exposure to stress;
• Regulatory - helps to make the most correct and timely choice regarding your personality;
• Developing - the correct assessment of one's personality gives a strong impetus to its development.

The situation in which a person absolutely independently evaluates his qualities and capabilities and adequately understands what he is good at and what is bad is considered ideal. From this he plans his life - what he will do, what he will study, and so on. Of course, such impossible .

From early childhood to late old age, everything around is trying to influence us, our self-esteem. At the very beginning, we are characterized parents, after peers and friends, then add to this teachers and professors, colleagues, bosses etc.

As a result, we do not even evaluate ourselves, but compare the opinion of others about ourselves with the ideals imposed by society. Where can we get to adequate self-esteem, some of the information received does not apply to reality at all!

But only by correctly evaluating your abilities, you can understand in which direction you need to develop and what you are like in general.

In this situation, bad any deviation. An inflated opinion of yourself will lead to many painful mistakes in life, although it is more rare. Much more common low self-esteem which destroys people's lives, does not allow to open up, to show the maximum of their capabilities. The neglected form of this problem leads to an inferiority complex, and hence the destruction of the personality.

Essentially, this one of the main reasons that a person cannot earn money. Not confident in himself, he rushes from corner to corner, afraid to take a step that is risky in his opinion or the thoughts of those around him, eventually despairs and continues to live from one meager salary to another.

Moreover, in such cases, one cannot open one’s own business, because the qualities necessary for this are: activity, readiness to risk and accept decisions are taken from true, adequate self-esteem.

Lack of self-confidence takes the energy of the individual, fetters his actions, which leads to a terrible state when a person is only able to think or dream about action, and not resolutely take up the realization of his desires.

2. How to love yourself and what will happen if this is not done 💋

love yourself does not mean become narcissistic. In fact, it has to do with self-esteem. Only the person who is able to evaluate himself, highlight all his advantages and disadvantages, can really honestly and fairly treat his personality.

How to learn to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman and a man

So, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem?

Having low self-esteem, you will only see everything negative in yourself, which of course will not lead to anything good.

Justified self-love based on your virtues and constant work above the shortcomings there is a guarantee that others will treat you well.

It's really hard to love someone who do not appreciate and does not respect myself. It's more of a pity than anything else. Being competitive in business or choosing a spouse or many other things is only possible if you have high self-esteem and right attitude towards yourself . repressed and downtrodden personality cannot be realized in the modern world.

It is a big mistake to constantly look for flaws in yourself. The more you do this, the more difficult it will be for you to make any, even the most insignificant decision.

self-criticism- this is excellent, but it must be harmoniously balanced with praise, forgiveness and respect for one's own personality.

Our psyche has enough specific defense mechanisms against pain, discomfort and various threats. Our consciousness is only the visible part of a huge iceberg, which hides the subconscious. It is also not homogeneous and consists of various personalities "coexisting in one body." Each of them affects the consciousness, the body constantly expressing its desires and needs.

Suppressing the natural desire to be happy, developing an inferiority complex, you make it possible to crawl out the most dark corners of your psyche.

This can lead to various psychological deviations of varying severity. A calm person will be doomed to eternal depression(read the article - ""), and in a sensitive nature, signs of schizophrenia, various manias and other extremely serious diseases. Of course, these are very rare cases, but the risk exists.

3. How to determine that you have low self-esteem?

Here is a list of signs by which you can determine whether a person has low self-esteem:

• a large amount of criticism addressed to you, both on the case and out of the blue;
• dissatisfaction with any of their actions and results;
• too strong a reaction to extraneous criticism;
• a painful reaction to an opinion expressed about oneself, even a positive one;
• fear of doing something wrong;
• indecision, it takes a long time to think before doing anything;
• unhealthy jealousy;
• strong envy, especially when others have achieved something;
• an obsessive desire to please, literally creep in front of others;
• hatred of one's environment, unreasonable anger at others;
• constant excuses;
• the desire to protect yourself from everything in the world;
• enduring pessimism;
• lots of negativity all over the place.

Low self-esteem makes a person suffer much more from failure. Any problem is temporary, especially if you start solving it in time.

If a person is insecure, then she will aggravate the trouble until she becomes insoluble, eventually drop his hands and leave everything on gravity that will bring problems in all areas of life.

Such an approach on an ongoing basis will aggravate self-esteem, make you feel worthless, as a result hate yourself.

Society is very sensitive to this, and as soon as your negative attitude towards yourself becomes noticeable, others will begin to treat you worse. The further, the more that eventually ends in alienation and reclusion, a deeply unhappy existence, lack of money and personal life, psycho-emotional disorders.

There is an absolute pattern: respect yourself and others will respect you .

Success factors are self-confidence and high self-esteem

4. Inflated self-esteem and self-confidence 👍 are the most important success factors

Self love- this is not a flaw, not arrogance, and so on. It is worth distinguishing between narcissism and a healthy respect for one's personality.

The most important thing - Reconcile your opinion with reality. If you are really good at carving wood, love yourself for it, be proud of it, even brag about it.

If you have just started doing this - appreciate yourself for striving for something new, desire to do something. In each action, one can find positive parties and negative . Love yourself for the first and adequately treat the second.

Only in this case, the people who surround you will see your positive aspects, start you value and respect. If everything is the other way around, and you look for more and more flaws in your work, others will do the same. And believe me, they will find them.

The more you will confident the more people will reach out to you. And those who have a level of self-esteem higher than yours, and those who have it lower. They will want to communicate closer, start cooperation, just talk with an interesting, confident person who is not afraid and does not hesitate to tell what he sees fit or to do what he thinks is right.

The strength of the spirit attracts everyone- from small to large, which will make you not only popular, but also more satisfied with your life.

Signs of good, high self-esteem:

• the physical body is not a burdensome ugly shell, but a given from nature;
• self-confidence, their actions and words;
• mistakes are not obstacles on the way, but a way to learn more;
• criticism is useful information that does not affect self-esteem;
• compliments are pleasant and do not cause strong emotions;
• speak calmly with all people, do not feel awkward when communicating with strangers;
• each opinion expressed is valuable, but does not fundamentally affect the opinion of the person himself;
• take care of the condition of the body;
• worry about their emotional balance, correct it if necessary;
• constantly harmonious development, without jumps and unrealistic tasks;
• they finish what they started, achieve success in this and are not afraid of it.

Believe in yourself, respect your own self- this is the basis for achieving any goal, including the fundamental one - be happy. This will help you grow above yourself today, forget about those troubles and disgusting feelings that you experienced at the bottom of your own self-esteem.

In the territory of the former Soviet Union, many members of the older generation have big problems with self-esteem. At that time, it was extremely unpopular, since the general good was the leading one, and not the happiness of everyone. Next generation 90s also did not receive enough adequate positive information about themselves from the world due to the difficult situation in the country, lack of money, dangerous criminal situation.

At this time, it's time to forget about it and think about own well-being. In order to change your self-esteem, you need to work on your personality.

This will be the very qualitative change in life that you have dreamed of so much.

The main reasons for low self-esteem

5. Low self-esteem - 5 main causes of self-doubt 📑

The mouse race, in which a person participates from birth, forces him to form a certain opinion about himself. As a result, by the beginning of a conscious life, we often get unhappy and sad a young man who perfectly understands that ahead of him and his complexes there is a lot of trouble and the need to work. Why is it so?

Reason #1. Family

If you ask yourself where a person gets their opinion of themselves, the first correct answer is family. We receive most of our psychological attitudes at a very young age. This is due to the fact that during physiological development, emotional formation also occurs.

In other words, while we are growing up, our parents and environment are laying down the brick-by-brick foundation of our future personality.

It is logical to assume that the opinion created in childhood about ourselves will remain with us for many years, and maybe for life. It is good if parents understand this and are responsible for what they say to the child and how they do it. However, this does not always happen.

For example, according to parents, a child from kindergarten constantly makes mistakes. The progress of parental humiliation looks like this:

• Built a beautiful house from the designer? And who will clean it up?
• Did you beat the guys from the neighboring yard in the game of snowballs? Yes, you’re all wet, you’ll get sick, but we don’t have any money anyway!
• Got an 5 in Physical Education? Where's the math, stupid?
• What do you mean you like this girl? Her father is a gardener, and this is not prestigious!

So, day after day, parents impose on the child that he cannot do anything right. The kid stops believing that he is able to do something with his hands, have fun, choose a partner, company, and so on.

Against this background, self-love cannot arise in any way, who can respect and appreciate such an awkward creature? Then, about twenty years later, parents are surprised to discover that their child is a loser, has not achieved anything in life, is lonely and sad and blames him for this ... himself, because they put so much effort into him, and he, ungrateful... and all in the same vein.

What should a person do in this situation? Of course, work on yourself, increase self-esteem and strive for happiness. Everything is possible, the main thing is to want.

Parents should remember that criticism is a dangerous tool of education that can lead to painful consequences. It is worth knowing that you are raising a separate person who must be confident in his decisions and actions, have his own opinion, be able to make decisions, and not limply follow you as an extension of your body and mind.

The best situation for a baby is good and affectionate mother who always calm and happy. The father, on the other hand, must be demanding, have serious authority and, most importantly, treat the child fairly at any age.

It is also worth paying attention to every baby in the family, even if there are a lot of them. So-called " little brother syndrome", when the younger is reproached for the success of the elder - worse What can you think of to build a healthy self-esteem.

As family for a child- the center of the universe, you should carefully consider his ego. If you feel that your self-esteem is falling, raise it.

It doesn't take much to do this - just give him fair praise a few times a day and he'll go to bed happier. Encourage him to do what he does best and gently point out flaws rather than criticize. So the self-esteem of the child will inevitably rise and ensure his stability in life and a happy future.

Reason number 2. Failure at an early age

From early childhood on our way there are failures. This is inevitable for every person, because we live in a far from ideal world. An adult with a stable psyche is usually quite calm about failures, can overcome them and extract useful information from them, but this is not always the case with children.

At a very early age, even if you don’t remember the failure, it is possible that it is in the depths of your subconscious and whispers all the time: “ do nothing, it won't work anyway, I'm always behind you". This must be fought.

Over time, if you work on your personality, these memories will come up, they will be very painful and unpleasant, but having analyzed them in detail and realizing that your mistake is completely insignificant and should not subsequently affect you in any way, you will get rid of a significant burden on your heart.

Starting from the time you remember well all your troubles, it is much easier to work with this. Rummaging through the mind, you are sure to find a couple dozens moments that have haunted you since high school. Refusal of a roommate, teacher's bad expression, father's rude comment, failure in competition, double in physics are all examples of a heavy load that lowers your self-esteem and takes away positive energy for eternal torment over long-experienced problems.

All this from youth forms the consciousness of a loser who simply cannot achieve something in life, and this is a lie - after all, everyone is capable of it.

Reason number 3. Life passivity

The formation of personality begins in childhood and in the early stages does not require any effort from us. However, the older we get, the more this situation changes.

To 15 years old our personality will not move forward an inch if we do not try for it. That is, over time, more and more willpower will be required from each person in order to at least remain at the original level, for development it will be necessary to do more and more.

If from childhood a child is depressed, not used to working on himself and developing, in adulthood he will relate to the so-called gray mass.

This substance in society is characterized by the fact that its unit:

• does not want to develop;
• constantly putting off important things for later (procrastinates). About that, read in one of our articles;
• does not dream of more;
• does not take personal responsibility for himself or his family;
• accustomed to poverty/small prosperity;
• does not take care of himself, his appearance;
• believes that everything new is terrible and superfluous in his life;
• does not know how to be satisfied or dissatisfied - emotions are absolutely inert.

There is a famous physicist saying that a person without willpower is just a vertical puddle. The gray mass consists of such individuals. This is not an example of poor self-esteem, but of its complete absence.

No aspirations, no wishes, eternal lack of money and lack of any bright impressions that can dispel the gray reality.

This is a rather sad sight that destroys thousands of lives, including those children who grow up in such families. Raise self-esteem in such a case it is vital for women and men.

If this is not done, a happy, bright, full of emotions life will pass by, leaving fragments of poverty and an eternally depressive mood.

Reason number 4. Environment

We are all surrounded by a large number of people. Some of them are successful, others not so much, and others do not want to be so. If you decide to take everything from life, to make yourself a happy, self-confident person, you should acquire the appropriate environment.

Signs of an unhealthy society:

• constant groundless philosophizing, verbiage;
• criticism of everything in the world, from the government to neighbors, especially groundless or meaningless;
• inertia and lack of initiative, for example, if you cannot persuade your friends to go to a concert or a movie;
• constant gossip, condemnation of others behind their backs;
• planning to get rich quick without any action or effort;
• a large amount of alcohol, cigarettes and other bad habits.

The lack of desire to develop, work and generally try in life is quite contagious. In such a company, you feel no worse than anyone, but it relaxes, requires a lot of time and emotions, pulls you to the bottom. This is energy vampirism which is difficult, even impossible, to fight. If you can, leave such a company or environment completely, if not, just minimize communication.

The best society for those who strive to develop is people who have already achieved. Don't know how to meet them? Try going to places you haven't been before. Usually this libraries, book the shops, theaters, thematic establishments, seminars, trainings etc.

Reason number 5. Appearance problems

A strong factor, especially in adolescence, is appearance. If she has some defects, then even with the right approach of relatives to education, low self-esteem can be formed on the basis of the opinions of peers, teachers, and so on.

The most common example in this case is excess weight. Offensive nicknames, the lack of attention of girls / boys, the contemptuous attitude of some adults - all this naturally affects the personality of the child.

If this manifested itself in adulthood, then the person will demonstrate his resentment not so clearly, but the pain will not decrease from this.

In order to change this, you can try to fix the defect. For example, if this is a diet, then the whole family should sit on it so that the child does not feel disadvantaged. If change is not possible, the child needs to be helped to come to terms with this situation and develop in a different direction.

There are many charismatic and attractive fat men in the world and thin people who are absolutely not interesting to anyone.

7 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem and Become Self-Confident

6. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways 📚

Having figured out what self-esteem is, why it is needed and what affects it on its formation, you can proceed to how to work with it, namely how to raise it.

It’s not enough just to realize that you don’t evaluate yourself correctly, you also need to be able to change the situation. Below are some interesting and effective ways to increase self-esteem and confidence.

Method number 1. Environment

The society you move in defines who you are. It is important for everyone not to be the last. In a company where no one has achieved anything, you feel comfortable because everyone is just like you.

Now imagine that you find yourself in a social circle where one bought a new car yesterday, the second opened a new branch of his store, the third recently graduated from university. At the same time, you hardly graduated from technical school, and can't get a job anywhere.

What will your feelings be? Certainly unpleasant. In addition, you will receive a powerful, powerful impetus to development, a desire to do something significant for your life and career. At first you will feel awkward, but over time you will realize that you are changing for the better with this company.

In addition, you will get rid of the eternally depressing social circle that pulls you to the bottom and ridicules all your timid undertakings.

A strong and successful person will never, laughs at those who are just trying their hand. On the contrary, he will help and prompt, even support, if necessary.

Look for the right social circle that will make you work on yourself.

Method number 2. Literature, trainings, films

Having dealt with the environment, proceed to decisive steps, namely, take up reading books on working on yourself, increasing self-esteem. This list will help you:

• Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
• Sharon Wegshida-Kroes “How much are you worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself”;
• "The Charm of the Feminine" by Helen Andelin;
• Louise Hay Heal Your Life.

Next stage - attending seminars and practices . People who want to change and coaches who are able to give it to them gather here. Thus, you change the environment and get the desired information. This is an effective way that allows you to kill two birds with one stone.

Method number 3. The comfort zone is actually the enemy

No matter how strange it may sound, but for now you comfortable and calmly in the world in which you exist is very bad for your personality. The established rules of life will make you ossify and freeze at one place. Only by doing something new can you develop.

In fact, it only seems to you that you already have all the best. There, outside your invisible cage, lives and rages wonderful and amusing a world that is filled not with difficulties and troubles, but with incredible adventures, new stories and acquaintances.

As soon as you throw your fears into the furnace, it will open up to you, instill a sense of self-confidence and show many of the brightest events that you could not even think of.

What do you need to do to leave your "comfort zone"? Analyze where your time is going. How many hours a week do you watch TV, how much do you drink, how much do you play games, and so on. Reduce this time by three hours in seven days and devote them to something new. For what you've always wanted: sculpt from clay, sew a new dress, plant a flower, go to the circus / cinema / theater. The more active the better. Over time, a bright life will suck you in, and you will forget about the mediocre chatty box and other garbage items.

Method number 4. Down with self-criticism!

If you stop eating yourself alive superfluous self-criticism , you can immediately complete three extremely important tasks, which in other ways will take you a lot of time and effort.

First of all, you will get a lot of free energy. All those forces that you spent on self-criticism and the search for reasons for it can be directed to actions that are more pleasant and useful. For example, reading exciting books with a relaxing plot or writing poetry, knitting, planting flowers, and so on.

Secondly, you will begin to perceive yourself as a holistic person who has his own personality. Yes, you do not look like Vasya, Einstein or Alain Delon. Do not need! Be yourself, and do not participate in the eternal, someone else's competition in which someone has already taken first place.

Thirdly, you will begin to notice in yourself not only the negative, but also the positive aspects. Everyone has something good, something that he knows how to do. Discover it, isolate and educate, improve, nurture, without wasting time and effort. This is the best investment in yourself!

Whatever painful mistakes you encounter, don't let yourself grieve over them for more than an hour. After suffering a little, force yourself to be happy again, and take failure as an experience.

Method number 5. Physical exercise

So unloved by many, physical activity greatly affects our emotional state. To boost self-esteem, buying a gym membership can do more than a lot of training.

This happens because:

• during sports, a wonderful hormone dopamine is released in a person, which excites our brain and gives a pleasant encouragement, colloquially it is also called the hormone of joy;
• you bring your body, and hence your appearance, into perfect order, so that over time you can be proud of it and respect yourself for the work done;
• even the classes themselves are important without results, because in the process of performing each exercise you overcome laziness, complexes and other troubles;
• improving well-being gives and develops confidence in yourself and your actions, in every step - it is easier for you to move and feel, it is easier to persuade yourself to start doing something.

This is a great way to improve the quality of life for people with a sedentary lifestyle and the same job. All day, after spending in a stuffy office, it is worth unwinding, but not going to drink beer in a bar. It's more likely to have a detrimental effect on you, and sport on the contrary, it will update and make it more cheerful.

A heavy-lifting person, with a heavy and unattractive body, cannot feel good in the company of slender and healthy people. This is fertile ground for the development of complexes, lowering self-esteem and other troubles.

Among other things, sports will help to start New acquaintances with purposeful people who can teach and show by your own example, that any changes are possible, which also has a beneficial effect on your psyche.

Method number 6. Subconscious programming

You can also influence your consciousness with the help of another, no less interesting and effective tool - programming. In psychology, this is called affirmations. Consider your computer. You give it a command, it processes it and takes the requested action. It's the same with our subconscious, only a little more complicated. You can't just say, "make me happy and confident."

The code, the command is memorized or recorded on the recorder. It should sound like a solid, realized fact. For example, "I am confident", " girls like me», « I can have what I want without much effort» and all in the same spirit. There should not be many such phrases, they should be repeated in the playlist or just to yourself for about two minutes.

These affirmations and they will be the very installation in the subconscious, the command for the computer, which will convince your subconscious of what you need. Do you want to be confident- please convince the hidden parts of your brain of this and it will independently remake the entire conscious part so that you become completely independent and can easily make decisions.

There is one rule here - you need to do this regularly, even after you feel the changes. Continue until you are surprised to find that the affirmations you are listening to are already a fact.

Remember that these words should have an extremely positive effect on your personality, not form ambiguities and not be in doubt. What you convince yourself of should have only benefits, without negative effects, because it will not be easy to “persuade” the subconscious mind back.

Method number 7. Remember your victories

Never neglect what has already been done. This is important for your consciousness, and for the subconscious and for a good mood. There is always something to praise yourself for, and if this is not enough, you will begin to subconsciously strive to do something good for the sake of it. Even if you praise yourself.

To operate this mechanism, start a notebook of victories. In it you need to write down everything that you consider a good deed, a useful action, and so on. Any little things or minor victories - all this is very important for your self-esteem, a sense of being needed in the world.

It might look like this, for example:

• had breakfast on time;
• took the linen from the laundry;
• bought some roses for his beloved wife;
• pleased his daughter with a game of tag;
• earned an award for a well-written report;
• went to the gym three times a week;
• lost 300 grams.

As you can see, achievements can be anything as long as they brought joy to someone or moral satisfaction to you. In a few months, you can collect an impressive collection that will warm your soul on cold evenings.

Write it down in your personal notebook and in difficult times when you cannot find strength in yourself do some difficult task or go up to an extracurricular meeting at work, reread a few pages of the diary.

Your mood is guaranteed to rise, you will remember how many positive emotions your efforts brought to you and your loved ones, and this is a powerful impetus to defeat all the troubles in the world.

The use of these ways to increase self-esteem requires regularity and mindfulness. Carefully monitor your state and thoughts, try to highlight the most successful of them, watch how you change.

This will help you get to know yourself better, learn to communicate with your inner self, and control your life.

Coaching to develop and increase self-confidence - by overcoming public opinion

7. Self-confidence training - overcoming the opinions of society 📝

The society that surrounds us, as we have already understood, seriously affects our self-esteem. If you attach too much importance to it, then it is quite capable of destroying the personality.

Of course, criticism is important. Our loved ones point out our mistakes to us, show us the moments in which, in their opinion, we did wrong and this is good. It is called healthy relationships .

However, let it completely define your personality bad. Each person must independently decide what is good in his life and what is not, and how in the end he will act in a given situation.

Don't worry about what others will say about you first. First, decide what you think about it, and try to perceive the rest of the information as a background, secondarily.

Try to make sure that the opinion of society depends on yours, and not vice versa. There are several interesting exercises for this.

A little circus. This is just a physical exercise that will require serious psychological strength from you. Look in the closet for something ridiculous - an old long tie, funny pants, anything that seems funny to you. Now put it on and boldly head out into the street. Go shopping, go to the movies and so on. It's not worth doing this at work.- may be misunderstood, otherwise - complete expanse. However, do not overdo it, first take less provocative things and eventually put on something more fun so as not to immediately injure your psyche.

This exercise works like this. Your subconscious retains a lot of complexes that are associated with its appearance. The more you go out of your comfort zone, that is, dress inappropriately, the more your subconscious mind will independently destroy established complexes and make your consciousness, and therefore life, freer.

More public. This exercise is simple. The more you speak in public, the more honed this skill will become. Speaking in front of a large number of people requires composure, high-quality preparation, and an effort of will.

This will help you learn to concentrate and complete the task quickly, while being responsible for the result. In addition, it will elevate you in the eyes of your superiors, and will recommend you well among a large audience.

Do these two exercises and be firm in your opinion.

8. How to find yourself and learn how to manage your self-esteem 📋

Much has been said about self-esteem. It may be difficult for you to immediately perceive and implement the entire situation.

For this there is 5 golden rules to print out and hang on the fridge. Constantly reminding and reading them will do the job for you. On a subconscious level, your brain will perceive them as instructions for action and will facilitate the period of transformation into a successful person.

• No need to compare yourself and others!
• No need to beat yourself up for mistakes!
• Surround yourself with positivity!
• Learn to love what you do!
• Prefer action over passivity!

Everyone unique and worthy happiness. It is imperative to unleash your unlimited potential in order to get everything out of life.

This requires constant work on yourself and a mandatory increase in self-esteem. But the results will not be long in coming, which will benefit both you and your environment.

9. Self-esteem test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today 📄

The first practical task on the way to increase self-esteem is to determine its level. To do this, there is a very simple self-esteem test of a dozen questions.

It is very easy to pass it - read each item and answer " Yes" or " No" . Every time you answer " Yes"Remember.

1. Do you sharply criticize yourself when you make a mistake?
2. Gossip is one of your favorite activities?
3. You do not have clear guidelines?
4. Are you not physically active?
5. Do you often worry about the little things?
6. In an unfamiliar society, do you prefer not to be noticed?
7. Does criticism make you feel stressed?
8. Envy and criticism of others often happens?
9. The opposite sex remains a mystery, scares you?
10. Can an inadvertently thrown word offend you?

Now you need to remember how many "Yes" you said. If less three Your self-esteem is at a normal level. If more three- you need work on it.

10. Conclusion + related video

With a sincere desire to change and change your life, you can achieve a lot. Raising, normalizing self-esteem, this is one of the first, fairly simple steps, which ultimately allows you to achieve success, happiness and of money.

Do not spare your strength, do not take care of yourself until better times. Develop now, get invaluable experience and build your future on a new level!