Two lying, and one leg that got into an accident, very sexy. - Is the leg sexy? And the leg too. - My leg. - Agree, if we take the full complement. - Let's take everyone. - No questions. Look, General, gynecology might be better. - Wait a minute, you see... - Lyosha. Alexey, many operations failed due to poor study of possible options. Yes, I agree, women are also in gynecology. Well, if during the holiday someone goes further. - Come in, come in. - It's a pain. If the disease does not allow you to fulfill the desired. It's mental and physical trauma. Injury! And only from injury! - Don't push me against the wall! - Carefully! - Turn left, turn right. - Don't break your legs! Zainka, I'm so happy! How thankful I am! Thanks a lot. We need to put a star on the Christmas tree. Can you handle it? You feel good ... There are only fractures, but bruises. - Ready. - Let's glue. Right here? Higher? I think he always wants to say something. Don't worry, we'll heal you. - There are no reasons for concern. Next year you will be able to walk and write on your own. It's OK. Do not worry. You just have broken testicles. - At all? - No, not at all. I think he wants to say something again. And you set his jaw. Maybe he'll say something. Say - sausage, sausage, bitch. - Sausage, sausage, bitch. - Dislocation. Our exercises were held in the taiga, in extreme conditions. And ensign Ivanko, when landing from a low altitude, dislocated his jaw from hitting the ground, and then for three days he got out to his own with his mouth open. Everything would be fine, but there was a lot of nastiness. He then became a vegetarian. - Your mother! - Yes. . . - Where did you hide me? - Yes, you are in the hospital, in trauma. - Where are my clothes, I need to call. - You'd better not move. See? You don't have to worry about clothes. It is securely closed. Take me to the phone. I hope there is a telephone in this almshouse? revived. Sorry, there is something. . . You feel good. You only have. . . Sorry the wheel is stuck. Sorry. Let's hang a red one. Beautiful? It's me again, sorry. There are none at the villa, only servants. And give the phone number of the palace, they say they went there. Thank you. - You can call? - You are welcome. It's me. What's with the voice? My voice is just fine. Tell me please, why am I paying you such money? And I'm here, God knows where, in pajamas. And you are drunk there. Let's urgently all to me. And you thought that these bastards put me down? Thanks for the advice. What protection, what doors? This is solid glass. No, I don't need a doctor anymore. I just need to lay down. Parasites! Is the place safe? Reliable, reliable! We have a policeman guarding the territory here. What are we celebrating? Today New Year! Turns out it's New Year's Day. Excuse me please, tell me, where is your second injury? How can you explain? Follow in my footsteps. Don't miss. Thank you father. - Like a little accepted. - You to whom? Sir, but this is an inappropriate question on New Year's Eve, addressed to the main participant in the event. Leva! - Who is calling Lenin? - Well, I went. You will meet a little one in pajamas, in an earflap, bring him. This is my. I'm going to you, and here he lies, face down in a snowdrift. Well, I think it can freeze, so I grabbed it. Well, an extra Santa Claus is not a hindrance to the holiday. - Of course, the work is difficult. Yes, his nose is frostbitten. It is possible that he was lying face down in the snow. - Hurt? Process. - The newcomer probably did not distribute his forces. With me in my youth, the same thing happened, only I fell asleep under the tree. In a snowdrift? No, thank God, in kindergarten. Well, my snow maiden is on the street. But nothing happened to her, she turned out to be strong. There wasn't even a runny nose. Boots are expensive. Santa Claus can't afford these. What do you understand! By the way, last year I cut down so much on apartment orders alone, I could have bought more than one pair of shoes. The seconds stepped aside. Étienne smiled and calmly looked up at the sky. God, he whispered, give me

Told the dog a joke

I love this joke very much. Of course, it needs to be told, in the printed version it loses a lot.

Very instructive. In life, such "little birds" are found everywhere. It makes no sense to spend personal time and energy on them - until there is an internal transformation and a change in one's own perception, the "little bird" will not become "big". This process can be facilitated from the outside, but only if a person has what is called the right intention in Buddhism (one of the steps of the Eightfold Path).

Good joke 13

Big kind birds lived on the pond. Autumn came and they began to gather south. Then a little bird came up to them and said:
- Well, of course (when telling aloud, it is said slowly and sadly), you fly away to the south, and I stay here to freeze.
- No problem, come on, a little bird flew with us, - said the big kind birds.
- Well, of course, it’s good for you, your wings are so big, once they waved and it’s already far away, but I have small ones, I’ll leave you behind, get lost and die.
Don't be afraid, little bird. We will fly slowly so that you can keep up with us - said the big kind birds.
- Well, of course, you are so big and strong, - said the little bird, - you can fly for a long time, but I am small and weak, I will quickly get tired, fall and break.
“Little bird, we will put you on the biggest and strongest bird and it will take you with us to warm lands,” said the big kind birds.
- Well, of course, - said the little bird, - you have big paws, you will build nests for yourself, and I will spend the night on the bare sand.
- Do not worry, we will build a nest for you too, - said the big kind birds.
- Well, of course, - said the little bird, - you have such long beaks, you can easily find food for yourself, and I will die of hunger.
“We will get food for you, too,” said the big kind birds.
- Well, of course, - said the little bird, - ...
And then the main big kind bird looked at her sternly and said:
- So. Went to hell!